Global Warming Is A Hoax

October 23, 2009

Or, perhaps it is not. I need someone to tell me what to think. I know this runs contrary to my request to be left alone to make decisions for myself but there is only so much time in any given day. I suspect to really know the truth, I would have to read a bunch of stuff and interpret graphs. Not gonna happen. 

A new poll says that 57% of Americans believe in global warming. While this seems like a pretty good percentage, the number of believers is actually decreasing. I would like to go with the majority but, I am not sure if these people can be trusted. 

Anecdotally, there have been really hot and really cold days recently. So, from my own personal experience, I could make a case either way. As to the ice caps melting and all that crap, I don’t get out of the country much so I don’t know what is going on. Tree huggers say they are shrinking, everyone else says they are growing. 

Al Gore seems to have done a lot of work on this subject but I don’t think that someone that really believes in global warming would own a big house or be fat. If Al looked like a 125 pound hippie living in a tent, he would be much more likely to get my vote. (Same goes for Bono although he does not have the fat issue. Still, how much energy is wasted making those huge glasses he wears? He doesn’t really give a shit). 

T Boone Pickens used to believe and bought all of those damned windmills to prove his point. Then he realized that Americans will NEVER give up SUV’s and consumption and just as quickly jumped off of the bandwagon. I don’t know what Barry thinks because he is still mulling it over. I think if New York City goes underwater; he might just be ready to make a stance…maybe. 

I wish Dubya or Cheney were still in charge because I always knew that they could be trusted to tell me the truth. Now, I have no one. Well, maybe Michael Moore but, again, he has the fat man issue. 

The bottom line is that I need one of you to tell me which way to go on this. I know that I am one of the few people in the world that has not studied this issue in depth so I know I can trust your opinions. If you have stories of how you put an egg on the sidewalk and it either froze or fried, that would be helpful. Also, if I end up either believing or not believing global warming, you need to tell me how to behave. For instance, if I don’t believe, should I buy a Hummer? (And I don’t mean the good kind). If I do believe, should I cover my house in tin foil to trap the escaping radiation generated by using a variety of Axe products? I am so confused. 

Your help is greatly appreciated. TL

global warming


Who Else Is Joining Madoff In Prison?

June 29, 2009

It seems to me that if you are running a multi-billion dollar Ponzi scheme you probably need more than just two people to pull it off. So far, the only people that I see being blamed are Bernie and one of his accountants. 

Really? Just these two guys bilked all of these folks out of their money and no one else in his firm knew anything about it? If this is true, then Bernie should get a gold star for employing such a large number of stupid people. The stock market is nose diving yet no one else realizes that there is no cash flow other than that coming from investors? 

And what the hell were they investing in? Did Bernie send out all of the marketing literature and file the mountain of paperwork that goes with running an investment firm? Or, just maybe, a bunch more people were in on the deal and hope to God that federal regulators are as stupid as the investors were. 

And what about Mrs. Madoff? The poor woman is likely to be left with only 2.5 million dollars from the Madoff estate. How in the heck is she supposed to survive on this? If she lives to be 100, she will have to get by on about $100,000 a year. Poor thing. She goes from caviar to cat food. 

I am glad that those that were cheated are all excited that Bernie is going to jail for the rest of his life. However, I would think they would be more interested in ALL of the perpetrators being put behind bars. Of course, no real need to do that now that the head of the snake has been cut off. 

It is this lack of “digging” that bugs me about our legal and legislative systems. Remember when all of the politicians running last year were going to get to the bottom of oil price gouging? Whatever came of that? Is Barry hot on the trail of Shell or is everybody fat dumb and happy again? 

And whither the great T. Boone Pickens? Remember how he was running those commercials extolling the virtues of alternative energy and how he was going to get the US off of oil? What happened there? Did he kick when I wasn’t looking? 

I can’t understand why the American people so readily accept being fleeced on a regular basis. Even when the crooks are caught, just one or two at the top are sacrificed but all of the rest of the scum is left in the barrel…ready for the next opportunity to rip people off. 

Barry, didn’t you promise to fix this? What are you waiting for? Give T. Boone a call and see what he’s up to these days.


Good Bye Olympics. Hello Political Conventions

August 24, 2008

After two weeks of the riveting Olympic sports of trampoline jumping and synchronized men’s diving (where I am told by women that some of the divers were “stuffing”), we now get to enjoy a week each of the Democratic and Republican conventions. Talk about your “must see” TV.

I was trying to convince myself that I should watch some of each convention to see what each team was putting forward. After all, the conventions are meant to be beauty pageants and put the best face on each party. Of course, before I could even start to make an argument for viewing these festivities, McCain and Pelosi had to both open their big mouths.

First, McCain starts with the comment about “not knowing how many homes he owns”. Really? Are you even trying, John? I understand if you don’t know how many shoes you own, tennis rackets you have or women you slept with as a war hero. Those are hard numbers to keep track of. But houses? My friends on the Internet tell me it is at least 10. You should have said, “I don’t know but it beats being a POW for 4 years”. You see how easy it would have been to get the plug in? (In case anyone in America still hadn’t heard that story).

Naturally, as soon as a Republican says something stupid, a Democrat feels compelled to jump on board. Nancy “I always have this terrified look on my face” Pelosi was on Meet the Press spewing the need for natural gas as an alternative fuel solution. After saying it several times, she was asked if there was a conflict of interest in her recently sinking 150k to 200k in natural gas companies. Indignantly, Pelosi replied, “It’s only 50k to 100k”. Really? You have so much money you don’t know the difference between 50k and 100k?

Again, I checked the Internet and found that Pelosi is said to be worth 25 million. That put the comment into perspective for me. She probably gave one of her minions 100k and said, “Get me some stocks in natural gas, a diamond necklace, a super sized tube of lipstick and a Kit-Kat bar”. Naturally, that could lead to some confusion as to how much was spent on each item.

As to the possible moral ramifications of investing into an energy source that you are going to approve legislation on? No problem, says Nancy. (I think she may be watching too many T Boone Pickens commercials). I swear to you that both she and McCain said all of this with a straight face.

I suppose I could go on about Obama picking Biden as his running mate and how it undercuts a huge amount of his campaign rhetoric but why bother? Both parties understand that their core constituencies so hate the opponent that no matter what stupid thing they say, they will still get those votes. If you had an election the day after Bill and Monica got it on with a cigar, he still would have got 40% of the vote.

Got to love those hard core left and right wing voters. It is probably good that they don’t actually risk crossing party lines. After all, who wants to be known as someone who “flip-flops” on their vote? God bless America.