Is there anything that modern science can’t make better? I think not. Case in point, the new iPosture device. This small device is to be used by all of us humped back people that can’t stand up straight. Or is it?
It works like this. You hook the iPosture to your skin or clothes and each time you slouch, it starts to vibrate. Here is a photo of the contraption.
Apparently, once you become fully erect, it stops vibrating. Now, for some of you, this might seem like a fatal flaw in the contraptions design. Get your head out of the gutter. This is a serious therapeutic device.
The instructions don’t say exactly where on the body the device should be placed and I worry this could lead to some confusion. Plus, for the mentally ill amongst you, I can see some opportunity for abuse.
My other fear is that this small vibrator could be kind of a “gateway” vibrator and lead its owners to bigger and more pulsing alternatives. In fact, I understand that the iPosture team is working on a larger model, exclusively for women, called the “Vulvanator”.
They are also making a male version, cleverly known as the “Shaky Vagina”. (I think it will be like the equivalent of having sex with Katharine Hepburn in her later years.) As you can see, what started off as a promising way to correct posture has quickly became a seedy proposition.
Get an iPosture if you must but beware of the possible risks. For instance, murmuring strange noises and fidgeting at staff meetings is not going to be well received by your boss. Unless, of course, you buy him / her one and then you can all sit around the table moaning together. (Again, for men, it STOPS vibrating when you are “upright”. So you may feel somewhat left out by the end of the meeting when your female co-workers are striking up their smokes.)
If you buy now, you will also get a ShamWow with your iPosture. Not sure I understand the correlation but what do I know. Be safe out there.