Seattle Cop Killer Was A Lunatic. What A Surprise.

December 1, 2009

If only there had been some kind of sign. You know…some sort of pattern of behavior that screamed to the authorities, “This guy is a lunatic!” Maybe something like a crime spree in Arkansas that earned him a 108 year sentence. That might be a sign. Or the fact that he violated his parole and was sent back to prison. This isn’t “lunatic” behavior but a trend is developing.

Maybe when he assaulted a police officer and raped a girl and justified it by saying that he had a vision he was Jesus and the Apocalypse was coming soon. That might have raised a few red flags. Or maybe when a psychological evaluation done in October said he was “a risk to public safety”. Apparently, he was not a big enough risk because he walked again.  

Or maybe this paragraph I lifted from the AP could have been a sign:

At the time of his arrest, he allegedly made “religiously-themed comments, told the officer President Obama and Lebron James are his brothers, Oprah (Winfrey) is his sister and referred to himself as ‘the beast,'” according to the evaluation.

All of these things could have pointed to misbehavior at some point in the future. I am pretty sure raping a child in and of itself should prevent you from posting bail with the assistance of Jail Sucks Bail Bonds.

Sadly, for the families of 4 police officers, no single person or organization cared enough to lock this guy up. The finger pointing that is going on is a pathetic effort by all parties involved to cover their collective asses. Personally, I am going to blame Mike Huckabee (aka Huckleberry). Granting clemency because someone is young is not a good enough reason. The judicial system is not in place for any one person to override it unless there is empirical evidence that a mistake has been made.

Not surprisingly, when a police officer came across the suspect, Maurice Clemmons, he fired first and asked questions later. Was there any scenario where this situation was not going to end like this? So, thanks to do-gooder Huckleberry and any number of other people, the guy they were trying to “treat fairly” ends up dead anyway. Everyone loses in this deal.

While I have a soft spot for crazy people, like myself, the ability to play the crazy card goes away when you are involved in criminal behavior. Even Gotham City at least tried to keep the Joker in an asylum. Our judicial system simply needs to do a better job.

When Barry Obama explains why we need to spend several billions more to continue the “war” in Afghanistan, think about how that money could be partially used to decrease jail overcrowding and provide mental help to the other lunatics walking the street. While I guess I am concerned about someone calling a Jihad on me, I am much more concerned about people like Maurice Clemmons walking the streets. (And while I am at it…all Christians should be eliminated because Clemmons was a Christian. If the Muslims need to be eliminated for killing folks then, by God, so should the Jesus lovers).

I will now step off of my soapbox so the Huckleberry love fest can begin.

Cop killer did it for Jesus…probably

PS: Sorry for my lack of comments here and at your cribs. Crazy busy this time of year. Fu**ing elves are completely useless.


Nebraska Doctor Performs 60,000 Abortions

August 29, 2009

I must say, even for someone like me that appreciates extreme performance, this is a pretty amazing number. By my count, that is over 8 abortions every single day for the last 20 years. Wow…just wow.

The busy doctor performing this work is Leroy Carhart from Bellevue Nebraska. Considering that Bellevue only has 40,000+ residents, they must be doing some serious fornicating. If you consider that surely a few are using birth control, this is nothing more than a human “get your freak on” pit.

The other possibility is that Leroy has really cheap rates and will abort damned near any fetus so women are flocking from around the country to purchase his services. Needless to say, pro-life advocates are kind of pissed off at the good doctor. Several protests are scheduled in Bellevue to bring attention to what is happening. You would have to agree, from the photo below, the doc has a pretty nifty looking business facility. State of the art, I’d say.

carhart clinic

Since it is my duty to solve the world’s problems, let me solve this one for you. Loosen adoption laws so that all of these unworthy fetus’ have an opportunity to be born and raised by someone that will love them. There are a slew of potential parents out there being forced to cut deals under the table to find a baby. Plus, even for the law abiding types, Romania and China are going to run out of babies to sell us before too much longer. (And really…why is it ok to purchase a baby from China but not Craigslist?)

My question is, why so many abortions in the first place? A friend of mine told me that many women are having abortions to control the sex of their child. He said that they are trying to have only girls so that, within 30 years, women will control the United States. While this might sound strange, I believe this guy. He is the one who told me that Mexicans are actually aliens so he knows his stuff.

Maybe the reason is that, in our self absorbed society, these women just can’t be bothered bringing a baby to term. (Certainly the “fathers”, as I have learned from the Maury Povich show, are thrilled when the girlfriend or lover decides to abort. Hell, Rick Pitino was apparently even willing to pay for it). Or, maybe they just feel overwhelmed at their situation and just want out. I don’t know.

Here is what I do know. 60,000 abortions for one doctor is just crazy. There is no way in hell that these women are receiving the kind of guidance and counseling they should receive from their doctor. This guy is a circus act and clearly not wrestling with the intrinsic value of human life.

Now, pardon me as I am on my way to Bellevue to get some loving. Don’t worry, I am packing condoms and a variety of disguises. I’ll be damned if Maury Povich is going to catch me.


North Dakota Releases Old Dude After 40 Year Sentence

August 24, 2009

Meet James Leroy Iverson. James, who is 70 years old, was just released from prison after serving 40 years for a double homicide conviction. In a growing effort among prisons, senior inmates are being released at an escalating pace. 

Why? Because they are old and, apparently, reformed. I guess these old geezers are downright lovable these days. Look at this picture of James and how happy he seems to be.

ND Old Parolee

Ah, good times, eh James? When asked what changes he noticed most about society today, James mentioned that more men are wearing beards. He is also fascinated by Wal-Mart where there is “oodles and oodles of stuff”. It took old James a full 3 hours to walk through the store. 

I was so happy to hear about how well James was doing, I wanted to see how his victims were doing. Unfortunately, it seems that his victims, Dianne Bill and Carol Mayars are still quite dead. They are unable to tell us how things have changed over the years or whether they are impressed by Wal Mart because, well, they’re not available. 

It seems that while James is enjoying his new found freedom, his victims will not get the same opportunity. When he decided to snuff their lives out in 1968, it was truly a death sentence. They would never again enjoy anything, let alone the simple things in life. 

Still, isn’t it good to see James all smiling and happy? I wonder if the living family members of Dianne and Carol are also smiling quite so broadly. Surely, they must be “over it” by now. After all, time heals all wounds, doesn’t it? Oh wait…apparently not lethal wounds. 

Enjoy your freedom, James. I only wished I believed in hell so I could take some comfort in knowing that you will burn in it after your demise. Of course, to be fair, I suppose if a guy that bombs a commercial airliner can be set free, some run of the mill murderer who only killed two people has no business in the pokey. 

When I get my job on the death panel, I would like James to be the first in line.

Old killers being released. Awesome, just awesome.


Who Else Is Joining Madoff In Prison?

June 29, 2009

It seems to me that if you are running a multi-billion dollar Ponzi scheme you probably need more than just two people to pull it off. So far, the only people that I see being blamed are Bernie and one of his accountants. 

Really? Just these two guys bilked all of these folks out of their money and no one else in his firm knew anything about it? If this is true, then Bernie should get a gold star for employing such a large number of stupid people. The stock market is nose diving yet no one else realizes that there is no cash flow other than that coming from investors? 

And what the hell were they investing in? Did Bernie send out all of the marketing literature and file the mountain of paperwork that goes with running an investment firm? Or, just maybe, a bunch more people were in on the deal and hope to God that federal regulators are as stupid as the investors were. 

And what about Mrs. Madoff? The poor woman is likely to be left with only 2.5 million dollars from the Madoff estate. How in the heck is she supposed to survive on this? If she lives to be 100, she will have to get by on about $100,000 a year. Poor thing. She goes from caviar to cat food. 

I am glad that those that were cheated are all excited that Bernie is going to jail for the rest of his life. However, I would think they would be more interested in ALL of the perpetrators being put behind bars. Of course, no real need to do that now that the head of the snake has been cut off. 

It is this lack of “digging” that bugs me about our legal and legislative systems. Remember when all of the politicians running last year were going to get to the bottom of oil price gouging? Whatever came of that? Is Barry hot on the trail of Shell or is everybody fat dumb and happy again? 

And whither the great T. Boone Pickens? Remember how he was running those commercials extolling the virtues of alternative energy and how he was going to get the US off of oil? What happened there? Did he kick when I wasn’t looking? 

I can’t understand why the American people so readily accept being fleeced on a regular basis. Even when the crooks are caught, just one or two at the top are sacrificed but all of the rest of the scum is left in the barrel…ready for the next opportunity to rip people off. 

Barry, didn’t you promise to fix this? What are you waiting for? Give T. Boone a call and see what he’s up to these days.


Catholics Sure Do Have Selective Memories

May 12, 2009

How else can you explain their complaining about Obama giving a commencement speech at Notre Dame? The whole point of contention is Obama’s “pro-abortion” stance. This has lead to the following billboard being put up in South Bend.

notre dame billboard

The truth is, if there was even a hint of consistent behavior from these people, I might be inclined to understand and support their grievance. But, of course, this is little more than political hogwash. 

Where was the outrage when Dubya gave his commencement in 2001 at Notre Dame? You know, the same Dubya that has different views from the Catholic Church on small items such as nuke-u-lar proliferation, labor, the environment, the death penalty, etc. Where was the mock outrage at that event? 

Of course, there was none. Why? Because the core Catholic Church has turned into little more than a shill for the Republican Party. This is why you see moderate Catholics fleeing the Church in droves. They simply can’t take it any more. 

Even the Vatican couldn’t come out with a comment on the Obama speech scandal because the premise is so ridiculous. And this is where they fail their flock. Instead of sitting silently by to avoid incurring the wrath of the lunatic fringe, they should be speaking out boldly about this subject. But they won’t. They never do. 

There was a time, in my lifetime, when the Catholic Church was admired and the Vatican had true power in the United States. Those days are over as politics and religion have become so inbred that there is simply no separating the two. The core tenants of the Church are so diluted, or antiquated, that there is little left to hold onto. I suppose that is why these splinter groups within the Church feverishly cling to particular beliefs. 

How about instead of ignoring Barry at Notre Dame, you listen to him? And then you engage him in a conversation that is in the best interests of mankind. For instance, how about supporting single mothers and adoption? (Something that the last 5 Republican and Democratic regimes have done absolutely nothing about). 

Or, continue to stick your fingers in your ears and ignore the world around you. Yeah, that seems to be working really well for you. Good luck with that.        


Don’t Try Suicide…Nobody Gives A Damn

April 12, 2009

Since Jesus rose on this day I thought it would be appropriate to talk about some people that are not going to rise today. In fact, unless you believe in divine intervention, they are never going to rise. I am talking about suicide victims. (Yes, they are victims in spite of the fact that it is self inflicted).

What started me thinking about this was the spate of gun violence that is on the news every day. It is really no worse than normal for America but this is the new cause du jour. (Funny how the timing with the new Obama administration coincides with the media’s coverage but I will leave that for others to sort out).

Here is the truth about gun violence. 55% of the people that will die from guns will die from self inflicted wounds. We don’t hear much about them because, I suppose, their lives are viewed as somehow less relevant. Even if you believe this is true, which I don’t, in many cases they are taking loved ones with them. We have seen this over and over recently. Some 17,000+ people will kill themselves this year. How is that acceptable?

While some of this can be attributed to the recent economic problems, this has been our dirty little secret for a long, long time. When a family member of mine committed suicide many years ago, the family urgently tried to figure out a way to cover it up. They said they were “embarrassed” by his actions. I was embarrassed by theirs. This person had lived through years of mental and physical pain and simply could bear no more. So he did the only thing he thought he could.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting suicide is a noble action…it is not. However, our failure as a society to reach out to these people is appalling at best. I would suggest it is actually downright criminal. For all of the crowing from religious groups about stem cell research, how about this? Focus on the here and now and the people in your circles that are quietly suffering. For you non-believers, stop worrying about the religious right and worry about real issues such as the sky rocketing suicide rate of our military men and women.

This is not meant to be a lecture to the readers here. It is just my frustration with the way we are manipulated by the government, media and any number of extraneous forces. On this Holy Day, we need to reconsider our values and focus on what matters…we the people. 

I personally know no less than 4 people that have committed suicide. Many more than I know that have been killed by lightening, tornadoes, earthquakes, or whatever other thing we are currently panicked about. They are all around us and a quick decision away from pulling the trigger. Let’s just try a little harder to help them, shall we?

(Yes, I realize compassion directly conflicts with my day-to-day operations but even my dry and miniscule heart cares every now and then. Now go back to your Easter Egg hunt or watching your Mel Gibson marathon).


How Will We Ever Solve The “Sexting” Problem?

March 27, 2009

This is such a difficult problem for parents and authorities. As you no doubt are aware, “sexting” is the act of sending provocative photos of yourself through your cell phone. Specifically, this has been a fad for under aged school kids. It is quite the conundrum. 

Fortunately, as usual, I have come up with a solution. Take the damned phone away from them!!! My God, is this really that complicated? If your kid is too irresponsible to handle a cell phone, they shouldn’t have one. The same goes for Internet access. Where in the hell are the parents? 

Oh wait; if you take the phone away the kid might be mad at you. Then your relationship as their best buddy might be sullied. Get over it you, you lazy mouth breather. You are NOT supposed to be a buddy; you are supposed to be a parent. Start acting like one. 

Recently, a 14 year old girl in New Jersey (of course) was arrested for child pornography for posting nude photos of herself on her MySpace page. Are you kidding me? They actually arrested a 14 year old? Again I ask, why are the parent(s) not being arrested? Why does this kid have access to the Internet? How about instead of arresting her you get her some counseling and some parenting classes for the useless parents? 

When I was a kid I wanted a machine gun for Christmas that shot plastic bullets. On Christmas morning, I got up at about 5am and found that Santa had brought the machine gun. I proceeded to shoot off every bulb off of the tree. Why? Because no one bothered to get out of bed to stop me. Eventually, the gun was confiscated from me and I never so it again. But that was ok, the damage was already done. 

Kids will do whatever you let them do. That’s why they are kids. Can we please stop blaming them for their mistakes and start holding the parents accountable? Rarely is a kid truly a “bad kid”. The vast majority of time they just need love and direction from someone. So you lazy a** parents that don’t know what your kids are doing need to wake up. Will it prevent stupid things from happening? Not always but at least you will find out about it before the state police are banging on your door. 

Now I, as a consenting adult, need to go post some more nude photos of myself on my MySpace page. This batch is going to be extra hot!


Can We Please Build More Prisons?

March 22, 2009

We have yet another story of a hardened criminal out on parole that, clearly, should not have been on the streets. This time it was in Oakland and, in his desire to go out in a blaze of glory, he killed 4 police officers. This has to be particularly difficult for the family members to accept knowing that the killer should have never been there in the first place.

How many more people need to be murdered, raped, assaulted, or have ANY crime committed against from a repeat offender? I understand that prisons are full and that we, as a society, love to forgive people of their past sins. That’s all fine until someone you love is a victim of one of these repeat offenders.

The simple solution is to build more prisons. Since I am paying significant taxes already, I have no problem with some of that money going to bigger prisons. Just think of it as an infrastructure job. You have construction work plus you will need more prison guards. See? It’s a winner for everyone!

Oh wait, what about the poor criminals that are only in jail because “the man” put it to them or they grew up poor. Maybe they even come from a broken home and didn’t finish high school. Too fu**in bad…I am over it. There was a time when I believed in rehabilitation and, in some cases, I still do. Any non-violent criminal probably does deserve a second chance. Violent offenders, however, should never see the streets again.

Why? Because they are hard wired to always be violent. Study after study tells us this. They have no place in our society…period. If you want to visit them in prison or bake them cookies, knock yourself out. Hell, I am even ok with giving them cable TV and hookers if it keeps them happy. I just don’t want them out in the real world where hard working, innocent people (like the 4 Oakland police officers) can be negatively impacted by their actions.

I am sure the murderer here has a sob story and we will hear how he should have never been pulled over in the first place. Bull crap. Whatever judge or penal system employee that let this dirt bag out now has the deaths of 4 people hanging over their head. Of course, they will say they had no choice…it is the “system”. Fine; here is the answer. Build more jails and do not let violent offenders back out. You can even raise my taxes to do it. Now make it happen.

One last thing. There have been reports of people in Oakland celebrating and honking their horns over the murders. If there are bigger pussies out in the world than this group, I can’t imagine where they exist.


Jesus Strikes Out Again…What A Surprise

March 16, 2009

I have a colleague/friend whose dad has been sick for some time. He told me that his dad had taken a turn for the worse recently and I said, in all sincerity, I will say a prayer for him. And I did. 

Today, I get an e-mail that tells me his dad has died. So, in spite of all of the people that prayed for this man, including a heathen like me, the all knowing, all everything Jesus said, “Nah, not this time”. 

This just underscores my problem with the all powerful Oz Jesus. He randomly decides who he wants to listen to and who he doesn’t want to listen to. Importantly, he can never be wrong. In this case, he just called his “son” home. If the guy lived, it would have been “God’s will”. How convenient. 

Can I tell you I have just about had it will all of this hocus, fu**in pocus? This is the same God that lets children suffer and die on a daily basis. However, it is not up to us to ask questions. We just must accept it for what it is. I call bullsh**. The mystery man has no more control over who lives or dies than he does on which team is going to win March Madness. (Bookies, on the other hand, do have that kind of power). 

I understand that my friend’s dad was sick and things weren’t looking good. But I reached out an olive branch to Jesus and said, “Hey, give the guy a break and let him enjoy his family a little longer”. I am an idiot for having this imaginary conversation with myself. I might as well have been praying to Bozo or a hockey puck. 

Let’s just call a spade a spade. There is no God. Not now… not ever. If you choose to believe in God, knock yourself out. For me, I have had it. My intellect tells me that for all of the suffering I have known, and those that I love have known, OBVIOUSLY there is no God. You could make a much better argument for a sadistic, hateful Satan but nothing for God. 

And lest you think this is some epiphany based on the passing of one man, you are wrong. This is a lifetime of betrayals, false hopes, and lost promises. Everything I am or have is due to the love and consideration of those around me in my life. They make me who I am, for better or worse. God / Jesus / Allah / Smitty / or whoever else you want to lineup as the “chosen one” is little more than a money making industry. 

So, the big question is, will I be smote for my words? Frankly, at this very moment, I could give a sh**. Welcome to Monday morning. Hallelujah. TL


Should Pedophiles Be Protected?

March 2, 2009

I ask because Tammy Gibson tried to beat the crap out of one with a baseball bat last summer and was given 90 days for her efforts. If she had taken that same bat to pretty much any other person, her visit to jail would have likely been substantially longer.

William Baldwin is a convicted sex offender. According to Tammy, he made the mistake of trying to chat up Tammy’s daughter. Tammy, being old school apparently, took out her bat to have a “conversation” with Billy Baldwin (not the one you are thinking of…I think). Good thing Tammy doesn’t carry a .38 instead.

While I have no tolerance for child molesters, does that give the average citizen the right to attack them based on a perceived threat? The easy answer is, yes. If it was my kid, I would have done the same thing but with my fists. But would I have been justified in doing so?

Some of those that oppose Tammy’s reaction point out that she is no angel. She has had her own run-ins with the law regarding drug charges. So, if I know Tammy sells drugs and I see her talking to my kid, can I blast her with a bat? Where does the line get to be drawn and who exactly is going to draw it?

I would like to think that, in most cases; I would call law enforcement and let them deal with it. Of course, if you live in pretty much any urban area, enjoy whiling away your time as you wait for the po-po to show up. And what if you did do nothing and later that same individual did assault your child? How in the world would you cope with such a thing?   

After careful consideration, I have a plan. Kill all sex offenders. Sure, at first blush this might seem like a slightly over the top reaction. But why not? What possible function do they serve that benefits their fellow man? I would give them an island because, even with the price of real estate depressed, they are not worth it.

The other option would be to lock them away forever. But that is going to cost a ton of money and, frankly, they are not worth it. You might think that these guys getting gang raped on a regular basis might be a good punishment but I suspect they would learn to enjoy it.

No, my mind is made up…kill all sex offenders. I just ask this. When you do “the deed”, please do not give me any credit for your courage. I am not interested in being anyone’s Jim Jones. (Unless large quantities of money are involved).

Yet another large social issue resolved by Tannerleah. You are welcome.