Since Racism Is Dead, Can I Make Black Jokes?

January 20, 2009

I don’t actually have any; besides, I am terrible at telling jokes. I just figured since we are now past racism, it would be ok to tell them. I didn’t really think racism would end in my lifetime but, according to various media outlets, you can stick a fork in it cause it’s dead.

I was thinking about going to East LA and start throwing out a bunch of crazy gang signs and screaming, “What’s up my bitches!”. Now that we are all one big family, I am sure the gang bangers would find it really funny. Maybe I could even wear a hood or something…that would probably get me even more laughs.

I am so glad that almost 400 years of racial pain has finally been put to rest. Since we are all one big happy family, can I use the “N” word with my brothers now? I was told that only African Americans could use that term because they have carried the burden of racism. But since we are past that, I should be able to do a bunch more Chris Rock material, no?

I could be wrong but I have a sneaking suspicion that white people came up with the whole, “with a black man being the POTUS, we have cleared the last racial hurdle”. This is an easy way for whitey to wash his hands of the whole mess. You watch, they will try to elect George Lopez next time and consider the Latino and immigration problem solved.  (Sorry women, you don’t really fit into the picture).

So, my friends of color, no longer will you be profiled and pulled over in your car for looking “suspicious”. No longer will you have people following you in the department store asking if they can “help you”. No longer will you hear any fried chicken and watermelon jokes. When you date a white person people will still stare at you but will be thinking, “What a handsome couple”.

Yes, all of our racial problems have been solved. Reverend Wright and Minister Farrakhan will now be on the Sunday morning talk shows sharing their views. Hell, they might even roll out Flava Flav every once in a while. Prisons will no longer be disproportionally filled with young black men and inner city schools will now have a graduation rate of 80% instead of less than 20%.

I could go on but why bother? All of those issues are now problems of the past. God, I feel like bursting out into a chorus of, “We Are the World”. I need to hop up from my computer and go hug some black folks. (Oh, and write some really funny jokes about all people of color. I can’t wait to share them with my new multi-racial family…they are going to love me!