Mackenzie Phillips Slept With Her Dad

September 23, 2009

Apparently, this is one of the stories that will come out in her new book, “High on Arrival”. Is this allegation true? I don’t know, so let’s ask her dad, John Phillips. Oh wait…John died several years ago so we will never know his side of the story. How convenient.

Why do people insist on throwing the dead under the bus? If this was such an integral part of her life, shouldn’t she have brought it up before now? Why wait until your career is dead and those involved are equally dead? Could it be…oh, I don’t know…for the money? 

Didn’t her costar, Valerie Bertinelli, also recently write a “tell all” book? I wonder if the two could in anyway be related. It’s too bad that Schneider is dead because who knows what kind of crazy celebrities he banged. 

To be honest, I am skeptical of this story for two reasons. First, have you ever seen John’s wife, Michelle Phillips? She is smoking hot. Second, have you ever seen Mackenzie Phillips? Her face looks like it was leveled with a road grader. Why in the world would a celebrity with a hot wife, who could have all kinds of women, bang his ugly daughter? Would you hit this?

Mackenzie Phillips

I didn’t think so. Mac also says that she slept with Mick Jagger. This is possible because he may have thrown her a pity fu** as a favor to her family. Mick is kind like that. He has done all kinds of ugly women in his day. (David Bowie probably being the ugliest of the lot). 

Look, if John Phillips actually slept with his own daughter, he is probably roasting quite nicely in hell. But why must we have the tell all book? Who cares? And who gets to defend the defenseless dead guy? I slept with Ed McMahon but you don’t see me writing a book about it. (Oh, the stories I could tell. I didn’t call him “Mr. Ed” for nothing.) 

Enjoy your last 15 minutes on Oprah, Mackenzie. Maybe someone will actually remember you were the ugly kid on “One Day at a Time”. Probably, most won’t. In your next book, you can one up yourself and talk about the tryst you had with Jesus Christ behind the 7-11 when you were twelve. I am sure it will be riveting.

A Little Country Love For Friday

May 1, 2009

Well, kind of country.

And if you don’t dig country, here is one of my favorite Bob songs.