Church Of Scientology Busted For Fraud In France

October 27, 2009

A Paris court fined the church 900k for fraud. The court stated that the church pressured its members to give large amounts of money for questionable financial gain. The original complaint arose when a member of the church quit and wanted her money back. 

How funny is this? What makes it particularly amusing is that you can pretty much substitute any church denomination and get the same results. Sure, most call it “tithing” but, let’s face it, a spade is a spade. When you quit the Catholic church, do you get your money back? Didn’t think so. 

The judge stated that the church was “obsessed” with monetary gain and their practices were aimed at putting members into a “state of subjection”. Dude, maybe you should hop a bus to Italy and take a look at the Vatican. Now that’s a group that is obsessed with monetary gain. As for the “state of subjection” charge, what church would pass that litmus test? 

Don’t get me wrong, Scientology seems to be full blown crazy. But, from my point of view, so is every other established religion I can think of. I realize no one really gives a crap about the French because that country has gone to hell in a hand basket. Still, the precedent has been set. Wait until the Jews line up outside of their Synagogue asking for a refund. Rabbi Rabinowitz is not going to be a happy camper. 

I hope when L Ron Hubbard comes back from the big rocket ship in the sky, he points his photon torpedos at the French first. Granted, the odds are pretty slim that L Ron will be showing up anywhere ever but, you have to admit, it would be pretty damned funny. Tom Cruise could be the new king and any guy over 5’ 5” would have to have his legs shortened so Tom would tower over them. The women can be tall because Tom is cool with that. 

tom cruise

(Tom says, “The power of Tannerleah compels you! The power of Tannerleah compels you!)

A word of advice to all of my religious friends out there. Stop giving money to your respective churches immediately. You are putting them in danger of being charged with fraud and you wouldn’t want to be the reason that TD Jakes or Joel Osteen gets put in the slammer, would you? 

Instead, send your money directly to me. I personally think 10% is kind of low but do what your heart tells you to do. I will then “reallocate” the money to the various organizations without their solicitation. Kind of like how the US Treasury operates. Your churches will still be funded, minus an administration fee, and no one can be accused of fraud or intimidation. I know…you are thinking, “You are the awsomest TL”. I do it because I care. Now stop reading and start filling up my PayPal account. Do it for the children.

Maybe The Scientologists Were Not The Crazy Ones?

November 24, 2008

Normally, when anyone from the Church of Scientology is accused of something strange, I am willing to lay good odds that the story is at least partially true. After all, L Ron Hubbard does not strike me as the most balanced person that ever started a church. So, when I heard the story about a guy getting shot for waving around samurai swords, it seemed like that there was something more to the story.

Well, after seeing this photo on the TMZ website, I am going to say I would have shot the got too…probably several times.


Now, normally when I see a guy with a tattoo of a talking hand on one side of his neck and flowers (or maybe a dragon) on the other, I think immediately Hare Krishna. Not to mention that the guy, Mario Majorski, definitely has the right haircut. From what I know, the Krishna’s are a fairly passive group.

However, when you look like an extra from a “B” grade sci-fi movie AND are swinging around two swords, well, there is little choice at that point but to shoot you. As it turns out, Mario might have had some trouble with the law in the past. Not to stereotype but after looking at this photo, I would have made that bet as well.

Hmm…seems I remember another famous Samurai warrior that attends the Church of Scientology.


My guess is that Mario challenged Tom to a fight on a sofa at the Celebrity Centre (I suppose they thought “Center” would just be too low brow for them) and Tom wussied out. Although, I must say that I would have probably done the same thing. I suspect Mario would have used “gang rules” samurai fighting which, obviously, Tom would not have been prepared for. Totally unfair.

Anyway, I just wanted to commend John Travolta and his team of aliens for getting it right for once. Whatever ship L Ron is flying around in space on at the moment, I am sure he is proud.

Peace, my alien brothers.