Am I Gay If I Still Love Freddie Mercury?

March 15, 2009

I must admit…I am sitting here on another Sunday morning listening to Fred sing about a variety of subjects. Of course, I have heard all of these songs many, many times over the years so there is really nothing new to be heard. Still, I keep coming back for more after 25 years of listening to Queen. I have love for Brian and Roger too (not so much for John) but Freddie is the man. Albeit a gay man.

So, maybe I have some sort of recessed gay gene in me that attracts me to the music. Granted, I don’t much care for other gay singers so I might just as likely be fascinated by his ginormous teeth or porn stache (which I have already admitted having a fascination with although I no longer wear one). I shouldn’t be troubled by this love for Queen music but, somehow I am.

Do you remember when you found out that Billy Squier was gay? Do you remember how dirty you felt after singing “The Stroke” thousands of time without knowing what he really meant? For those of you too young to remember, let me rewind the clock a little. Billy came out of Boston with a great pop rock sound. He was writing rock anthem after rock anthem and then “the video” came out. Oh…my…God. It even made Clay Aiken and Boy George blush. Here it is:

(You are probably going to need to take a shower to wash the gay off of you. Go ahead….I’ll wait.)

So, if other gay artists are not my cup of tea, why am I so fascinated by Freddie? The easy answer is his tremendous talent but that doesn’t quite fill the bill. I love Tom Petty, James Taylor and Lemmy from Motörhead but am not obsessed with those guys. I will tell you a secret, just between you and I. When Fred died all those years ago my eyes filled with tears. (This from a man who is frequently questioned about whether or not I actually have tear ducts). When Ben Orr from The Cars or other rock and roll stars die, I am saddened but not completely bummed out like when Freddie died.

So, please let me know if I should buy a rainbow sticker for my car or plan to march in a gay pride parade. I really don’t want to but maybe I owe it to my suppressed gay side. Of course, if it is just a fascination with a talented musician, I would feel a hell of a lot better about it. I know that makes me shallow but I am fairly confident we have already sussed that fact out many months ago.

I miss you Freddie. In a completely hetero and masculine way.

freddie-mercury


I MUST Start Listening To Classical Music!

March 1, 2009

I will be honest, for a change. I listen to all types of music on a pretty regular basis. I like everything from James Taylor (on tour again this summer) to AC/DC. I will even throw in a little country due to my love for Faith Hill and Shania. Old R&B (no Chris Brown) to older stuff like The Chordettes and Buddy Holly (who just happens to be singing Oh Boy! to me at this very moment) is also likely to found on my various playlists.

The one area I have pretty much ignored for my entire life has been classical and anything opera related. For the longest time I refused to listen to Opera because I thought it had something to do with Oprah. I just couldn’t stand the thought of listening to that beached whale sing.

Anyway, this morning, I am doing my normal surfing of my fav sites and come across this photo of an apparent porn star. Here she is:

katherine-jenkins

I thought to myself, “wow, porno chicks sure are a lot hotter these days”. When I was watching grainy reel to reel movies or old VHS tapes they were NOT sttractive.  I mean that chick from Deep Throat was just fugly. Good at her craft, no doubt, but her looks were hard to swallow (rim shot please!) The lone exception was Marilyn Chambers.

But I was wrong about her being in porno (At least the commerically available type). The photo above is of Katherine Jenkins. She is a classical opera singer! Are you freaking kidding me? Technically, she is a mezzo-soprano. I don’t know if that means she used to be in the Mafia or something but who cares? My God, what a woman! I would hit that with Ram’s thingy. (Yes squirrel, I am exaggerating. The only thing I am hitting these days is small women).

When I think of the opera, I think of mostly really large women. Rubenesque, if you will. And hey, I am ok with that. But c’mon, an opera singer that looks like a top notch porn star? It doesn’t get much better than that. So, I now have to see if I can go to one of her performances and see if I can sit in the front row. (Little doubt in my mind that once we make eye contact, that I will be asked to meet her backstage immediately).

To be honest, I am kind of worried about getting some gay on me by going to the opera, but sometimes there is a price to pay. Hopefully, the number of guys running around in leotards with their groin area stuffed to look like a small watermelon will be kept to minimum. It confuses my boys when they look at something super hot and then super gay. They feel dirty somehow.

I am now off to find out more about my new love, Katherine. Wish me well!!!

Oh, and if you were wondering who The Chordettes are, here you go: