The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Muslims And The TSA

July 17, 2012

Quick question. When did the USA become some a bunch of scaredy cat pussies? Honestly, it’s been over 10 years since 9/11 and we still spend a BILLION dollars a week on Afghanistan. On top of that, we are scared to death of Muslims and have given carte blanche to the government (and, specifically, the TSA) to do whatever the hell that want to keep us “safe”. Guess what? I am safe. (Until Barry Obama decided that a US CITIZEN could be held without legal representation, and no one said a word, I knew it was all over).

Here’s the thing. About 115 people will die in a car crash today. Also today. not one person will die in a bumper car accident. Lesson learned? Turn regular cars into bumper cars and everyone driving will live to see another day! TL, that’s just silly. Is it? You are willing to let the TSA fondle your junk to get on a plane. Not too long ago, such a thought would be preposterous.

Speaking of the Touch Sacs Aggressively (TSA), a reader provided the follow infograph.

Provided by:

Pretty depressing, eh? The infograph for the Dept of Homeland Security (the parent dept of TSA) would be even worse. Billions and billions of dollars spent, loss of privacy, constant fear mongering, and for what? Yesterday, 6 passengers found needles in their airline food. How long before DHS creates a department for this? it is beyond ridiculous but there doesn’t seem to be any effort to slow it down.

Why? It’s all about the false sense of patriotism that politicians love to beat the drum to but, more importantly, it’s about the money, money, money. The endless hall pass on spending since 9/11 has shown no signs of slowing down. Politicians love it because they can funnel copious amounts of money to their constituents without being second guessed. Only socialists would be against saving American lives. Hence war and fear have always been big money winners.

These trillions of dollars spent the last 10 years have saved us from what exactly? A guy with a bomb in his shoe or in his underwear? No, proponents would say. Think of all the things that didn’t happen. It’s the Jesus argument. Yes, you can’t see him or know what he is up to, but how bad would it be without him? As it relates to Jesus and the TSA, I am willing to take that risk.

911 Is Not For Fast Food Disputes

February 10, 2009

Jean Fortune was thirsty. So, like many of us, he stopped by his local Burger King to get a nice, cold lemonade. All was going swimmingly until the rude BK employee told Jean, “I am sorry, we are out of lemonade”.


Now Jean might be a lot of things but he is no fool. Clearly, this was a case of racial profiling. Because he is from Haiti, the BK employee made the snap decision not to serve him based on the color of his skin. How else could you possibly explain it? Do you think a major metropolitan Burger King actually just “ran out” of lemonade? Puh-leeze.


Not accepting this ridiculous answer, Jean promptly called 911. He would not be denied his nutritious, thirst quenching lemonade! Not surprisingly, the 911 operator quickly identified Jean’s Haitian accent and promptly began to give him the run around. She suggested to Jean that calling 911 was not an appropriate response to being told you can’t have any lemonade. Would she have made such a comment to a brother or whitey? I sincerely doubt it.


Worse still, she spent probably 5 more minutes chastising poor Jean about how he should have never called because it is a non emergency and ties up the 911 system. Here’s a thought sweetheart, hang up the damned phone! Don’t send a cruiser, don’t berate the poor guy, just tell him nicely you can’t help him and hang up. Problem solved.


A police unit finally responded and, big surprise here, sided with Burger King. Just another example of “the man” keeping my Haitian brother down. Not to worry, Jean. Chick-Fil-A is more than happy to have your business and serve you even better tasting lemonade. And to you people at the Boynton Beach Burger King, you can stick your lemonade where the sun don’t shine. Damned racists.


One last fast food point. I was behind an elderly gentleman at the drive through today. I am so proud of the fact that I did not leap from my vehicle, pull him from his car, and promptly beat what remaining life he has out of him. Hint to old people: if it going to take you an honest to God five minutes to place an order, whip out your walker and stumble inside. You are killing the rest of us. Ciao.  


(If you would like to hear the sordid 911 call, just click the link below. Prepare to sob uncontrollably.)


911 Burger King Caller

EDIT: For some reason, I kept calling Jean, George. (Maybe George is really Jean in Haitian or….I am drunk again)

It’s The End Of The World…And I Feel Fine

January 2, 2009

As I was searching the web yesterday looking for stuff that interested me, like I do, I stumbled across a video on Google that spoke about the end of the world. Specifically, the video spoke about the coming of “Planet X” in 2012, Mayan beliefs, and the “Oort cloud”. I must tell you, it was all quite intriguing. Planet X is in some sort of weird elliptical orbit and will wreak all kinds of havoc on the Earth in 2012 as it passes in our solar system, or, just flat out rams us.

As I have mentioned in a previous post, as someone that attended a Pentecostal church as a youngster, I am all too familiar with the end of the world as we know it. (TEOTWAWKI). Several times over the years the world was supposed to end. And it is not just lunatics that are saying this. Jerry Falwell said in 1999 that, within 10 years, Jesus would return. But, before then, the Antichrist would have already showed up. So Antichrist, whoever you are, you need to get cracking.

I think the last really big TEOTWAWKI moment was the year 2000. I can remember being at a dinner party with a group of people and a large business owner telling me he was convinced the end was near. (Always nice to know that business owners and politicians are pretty sure the world is going to end soon. It might explain a lot of the greed problems). What was more disturbing is that many other lemmings at the party spewed the same silliness. Group think at its finest.

After watching the Planet X video (which you can Google to find), I watched another video that said the Planet X story was just a scheme to take attention away from what was really happening today. The premise was that the government wanted people to focus on the future (2012) or the past (9/11) to keep them from understanding what was happening today…which is this. The governments around the world will soon consolidate into 6 regions. (We get lumped in with Canada and Mexico…what a rip off). Anyway, once that happens, the food chain will be poisoned and kill million of people slowly over a year or two. Then, anyone that has an uppity attitude will be held at “camps”. (And I don’t think they mean the kind with a lake and tetherball). You will have a very small group of powerful people and the rest of us will cater to their needs.

Now, here in America at least, there is a big problem with that plan. Most of us are packing heat and will not go down easily. The suggestion is that a rash of murders at schools, public places, and churches will help us willingly give up our guns “for the greater good”. That seems like a fairly large leap of faith but I suppose anything is possible.

So, with the knowledge that I only have a bout 3 years to live, I tried to find a website that could remind me of all the other times the world was supposed to end. Here is one: . Supposedly, this website is run by a bunch of loving people that care about everyone but, for all we know, it is the government trying to throw us off course. Anyway, you can see that virtually every year someone is convinced things will end. I suppose, eventually, one of these people will be correct. But since I will be dead, I am not sure I give a crap.

Here is my recommendation. Stop worrying about the Apocalypse, Martians, werewolves, ghosts, Planet X, or whatever other dopey thing you can think of. All of the conspiracy you needs surrounds you on a daily basis. For instance, how do you know that Hamas has shot rockets into Israel? Because CNN said so? Maybe Israel did it so they could attack unprovoked. Sound silly? Do you remember a country named Iraq being attacked because it had “weapons of mass destruction”? What I know is that powerful people in politics, religion, and business will spew any lie necessary to achieve their goals. Ask some people in Tennessee how that “clean coal” technology is treating them these days.

Stop looking for terrorists or demons around every corner. They are right in front of us on a daily basis…more defiant than I can ever recall in my almost 50 years. What can be done? How the hell would I know? I just write a crappy blog. Someone like Sandy or Liz probably has a better idea. Just stop chasing invisible icons and believing whomever it is you are told you should believe in. Everyone has an agenda. The clock is ticking, but only in the mortal sense. I don’t think it is healthy to think everything is a conspiracy but I do think that critical thinking would go a long way in making our world a better place to be. Allah, Buddha, Jesus, Kevin Bacon, or whoever you think is talking to you is not. Listen to yourself and trust your own instincts.

I leave you with the wise words of George Carlin. Sure he was overly cynical at the end of his life but his message is a good one. (Contains some “adult” language).