It’s been 8 months since I last wrote something here so it seemed as good as time as any to start up again. Actually, I recently became unemployed so I seem to have a rather large amount of time on my hands. I am not allowed to speak about my former employer but I want to go on the record and state I did NOT rub my junk on Sarah Palin’s pizza.
As for Charlie, he is correct. You are all losers. Of course, you already knew this so the sting probably wasn’t so bad. You only wish that you had gold teeth, the complexion of a 6 month old cadaver, and rocked that gaunt Skeletor look. Plus, you wish you had porn wives that have had more meat in them than a tractor-trailer full of Jimmy Dean pure pork sausage. You are probably also Jewish which makes you short, bald, and stupidly wealthy. Winner!!!
Since I have been out of work, I have enjoyed watching my “shows”. Better than the tv programs, however, are the commercials. Frankly, at this point, I am pretty much a subject matter expert on Mesothelioma. I can diagnose the disease, its cause, and tell you where to get help. I may start calling myself Dr. Tannerleah. Also in the medical realm, I learned of this awesome new catheter that is very comfortable and can be used multiple times. I am wearing it as we speak…if you listen closely, you can hear my Mountain Dew 2 liter bottle filling up. There is so much to be learned through these commercials that I am going to Tivo them so I don’t miss anything.
By the way, while I am happy that Egypt, Libya and all of these other countries are finding democracy, they better not even think of coming to America. First of all, we don’t need them instituting “Sherry’s Law” (whatever that is). Plus, we don’t have nearly enough razors to shave all of their hairy women. (Basically, the same reason we can’t let French women come over here). Lastly, when you are in America, you better speak American. (Not Muslim or whatever they’ve got going on over there). To show I am serious, I am giving back the $1 million that Gaddafi gave me for singing in my Speedo last year. I gave it to a my favorite charity, myfreeimplants.com. Why? Because that’s what Jesus and Allah told me to do.
Anyway, I’m going back to my tv to become educated on priapisms. What they are describing sounds normal to me so I just don’t get it. All my love, TL