Oil Spill? Big Freakin’ Deal

Here we go once again. The Lame Stream Media is going to tell us how the big, bad oil companies have put our wildlife at risk. Birds, fish, beaches, blah, blah, blah. Who fu**ing cares about birds and fish? Sure, oil covered beaches are a drag but all you have to do is go to the other coast. How hard is that?

You people knew that when drilling offshore was allowed decades ago, there would be some small issues like this. Get over it. Do you still want to live in your McMansions and drive SUV’s? Do you still want to crank the heat in the winter or cool your 5000 sq ft home? Well, this is the price you pay.

Stop being a pussy tree hugger and embrace the reality of our world. We need to do more drilling so we can keep up with our consumption. Really, since I live in the Midwest, I could give a crap which ocean or state BP drills in. As long as I have the fuel to leave all of my interior and exterior lights burning 24 hours a day, I am cool with it.

If you grass eaters would have listened to a true American, Sarah Palin, this would likely have never have happened. The oil companies would have invested all of their money in drilling new areas and old rigs, like the piece of junk that broke, would have already been phased out.

But no, now I have to listen to the liberals on CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, NBC, and basically any news outlet not owned by Rupert Murdoch, drone on about this “natural disaster”. Look, we let New Orleans get ruined by a hurricane and completely ignored it, why can’t we do the same here? Brad Pitt can go wash some birds off it if makes him feel better.

In my America, i.e. Sarah Palin’s America, we go big or go home. If that means an “inconvenient truth” happens every now and then, so be it. You are not going to take my guns, my liberty, and my porno stash because Barry Hussein Obama wants to run a socialist, Marxist, Maoist, communist, liberalist, fascist, ridiculous-ist regime. Oh hell no…not on my watch.

When Sarah Palin becomes president in 2011 or ’12, you liberal lipstick-less pig people can get the hell out of our country if you don’t like it. Oh, and take all of those Mexicans with you. I can live without tacos and burritos if that’s what it takes. That’s how committed I am.

God bless Sarah Palin and God bless the United States of America.

Man, I would love to hit that.

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8 Responses to Oil Spill? Big Freakin’ Deal

  1. Bart says:

    Thank Oz I know you’re kidding! Oz Bless America and Obama!

  2. nonnie9999 says:

    silly tannerleah! most of those mcmansions have been foreclosed on, and the suvs have been repossessed for non-payment. people won’t need oil to stay warm in the winter, just those big 50-gallon drums and paper to burn.

  3. elizabeth3hersh says:

    This post is quintessential StopAnnoyingMe at your finest, TL. You left no buoy unturned in this devilish diatribe (although I was a bit bewildered that there were no inflammatory Pat Robertson quotes [he must be on sabbatical]). Scathing critiques and biting satire are your forte, young man. If I were your second grade teacher, I would paste a gold star on your forehead. Looking forward to reading more of these.

  4. Kevin John says:

    “We ‘go big or go home’!”

    EVIL! I am contacting GREENPEACE, SHARE INTERNATIONAL & PETA as soon cash this UE check and get my phone turned on again. Don’t know exactly how this will help but at least we might get a post on some cute barely-clad hotties protesters around your parts…

    Aaarrrr….

  5. Personally, I feel if we spill a little oil, it can’t be all bad. Frankly, the ocean could use a little spicing up and with the right blend, possibly run a little more efficiently.

    As for the real life issues? Who knows? I make a 70-mile roundtrip to work everyday. This will bring prices up even though only one gas company is directly affected.

    Of course, now there’s a lot of talk about ending or slowing off-shore drilling. Simply put, it’s just reactionary grandstanding. Everyone wants to be a populist, especially when the nation is divided as it is right now.

    Those who wanted to lower prices by authorizing new drilling will now be confronted with blackened wildlife (and trust me, the cutest of the oiled will be on air first) and will join the Governator in backpedalling as fast as they can.

    Without using the simplification of “breaking a few eggs to lower gas prices,” these things are bound to happen, especially when companies go past profitable into greed. This is when these types of oversights turn into disasters.

    BP has had trouble before and should be held accountable for the entirety of the cleanup effort. They neglected oil pipes in Alaska previously and don’t seem to be learning anything from their mistakes.

    I’m sure there will be all kinds of moratoriums and whatnot proposed by people who have the means to live however they want. They’ll be joined by wet-fingered politicians who have the power to live however they want.

    As for everybody else? Well, we’ll get higher gas prices and a bill for cleaning it up, taken very neatly out of our paychecks.

    As for the Greenpeace crowd, etc.? They’ll use this situation to point out how right they are about everything and their most extreme members will applaud the deaths of 11 workers with one hand, while crafting attack boats and firebombs with the other. Yeah, I’m looking at you, ELF.

    These people are to be berated and humiliated the way people who applaud abortion clinics bombings should be berated and humiliated.

    I really don’t relish the fact that I’ll be paying more at the pump to make the same amount of money, which in turn will be bled further to pay for someone else’s mistake.

    There’s so much fucking going on these days that it’s tiring to even find a voice of reason, much less a hero. There are plenty of scapegoats available. It’s like God looking at Sodom and going, “You know what? Burn ’em all!”

    A very inspired rant, TL, which of course inspired my less-inspired and mostly pointless mini-rant. Stay the course, OBM. We’ve got your back.

  6. Its all true TL and you haven’t lost your edge. And a picture of Sarah to boot…nice.

  7. nut up or shut up! or so i’m told..those birds are mighty cute…and the dial commercial is awfully convincing. and i live on the East Coast so i think my coast is good..right? i dunno i stopped watching the news years ago…

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