How else can you possibly explain people getting benefits for 28 weeks from the state and then an additional 99 weeks from the feds? That’s almost 2.5 years. Who is unemployed unintentionally for this period of time? Lazy people…that’s who.
To be clear, I am about as lazy as anyone I know and even I have only been out of work for maybe 6 months and that was because I turned down some jobs to get what I wanted. Actually, I didn’t even collect unemployment because I was too lazy to fill out the paperwork. (I don’t do waiting in lines).
Yet, it would seem that there is a seemingly endless line of donut eating, cousin marrying, douche monkeys that will feed at the public trough as long as Barry continues to let them. Which, knowing Barry, will be forever. (Not that any Republican is going to stop it either).
Like most social problems, I have a solution for this ridiculous one as well. To show I am a people person, which of course I am, I will allow people to collect unemployment for 6 months…gratis. I won’t even ask you to lie about your job hunting, or lack thereof. Do whatever the hell you want for those 6 months.
However, at 6 months and 1 day, these fine folks become a ward of the state. If they would like to keep sucking on the government’s teat, they will need to do something to earn it. They will report to “Camp Lazy” for their assignment. It might be picking up litter in the park or working at a soup kitchen. There is a laundry list of stuff that could be done by these slackers. Plus, they will feel better about themselves because they are “working” for their handout.
I realize there will be people who will say they are physically incapable of doing manual labor so they will need to be exempted. I would be a horrible problem solver if I left out this rather large group of trailer park refugees. These people will be posted all over the city with a whistle hanging around their neck. At the first sign of trouble or vandalism, they will blow their whistles so that the authorities can swoop in and do their job. Or, they can sit in public bathrooms and flush the toilets after the people who just used it refused to. Or, they can work in day care centers and be used as an amusement ride by the kids, depending on their girth. Again, a plethora of possibilities.
Of course, if they don’t want to work for the dastardly, dirty government, they could always go out and get a real job. You know, kind of like the rest of us do. I would type more but I have to check the mailbox for my disability check. (You remember…the amputated leg fiasco. Totally legit).