The dirty, liberal media is up to its old tricks again. This time, instead of attacking Sarah Palin, they have set their crosshairs on Carrie. (Although I am sure that once Sarah’s bestselling book hits the shelves, the hate will start flying her way again).
For those of you unfamiliar with Carrie, here is a quick recap. She was in the Miss America pageant and, seemingly, well on her way to winning it. In the Q&A portion of the contest, she was asked her thoughts on gay marriage. Like most of us good Christian Americans, she answered that marriage is strictly for men and women. Makes perfect sense. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, yes?
Well, unfortunately for Carrie, the judges were all flaming liberals and scored her low for her answer. Due to this obvious chicanery, she was robbed of the title. Worse still, she was made a pariah in the liberal media for supporting the proud tradition of marriage. In essence, she was scorned for her religious beliefs.
As if losing wasn’t enough, more allegations were made to sully her name. First, semi-nude photos started popping up on the Internet. This was done to make her look slutty. As those of us who read the Good Book know, Jesus had no problem with nudity. In fact, his best friend Mary Magdalene often walked around with her boobs hanging out. Jesus was no prude.
Next, she was criticized for taking money from the California pageant committee to get breast implants. They gave her this money to improve her chances of winning Miss America. Let’s be honest, you do need a decent rack to win. However, again, this is not inconsistent with her religious upbringing. Leviticus 3:12 says, “Women should provide their men with ample and bountiful boobage. If such boobage does not exist, thou shall go forward and purchase said item(s)”.
The most recent attack against her was made regarding a solo sex tape she had made for her boyfriend. Surely, this would prove she is a Jezebel. Not so fast, my friends. I present to you Copernicus 2:09, “A woman shall provide pleasure to herself in times of solitude. If recording equipment is available, thou shall tape said session for her mate. While instruments are not strictly forbidden, using thou fist shall not be acceptable”.
As you can see, every time the liberal media tries to hurt her reputation, the only word that matters refutes their claims. The evil and dirty Larry King tried to get Carrie to talk about all of this but insisted on asking “inappropriate” questions. The following video is only part of the story.
The following questions were edited out.
Carrie, when you were doing yourself, did you use both hands at once or just one?
Did you ever fantasize about me while you were tearing it up?
Have you ever used the backdoor in your solo lovemaking?
Do you go at the taint very much in your sessions?
And it went on and on. Please, for the love of Pete, stop badgering this fine Christian woman. She has done nothing wrong and we would all be so lucky to have a daughter like her. Well, we would be luckier to have her as a neighbor with lots of big, uncovered windows in her house but that is neither here nor there.
God bless you, Carrie. Keep up the great work.