Church Of Scientology Busted For Fraud In France

A Paris court fined the church 900k for fraud. The court stated that the church pressured its members to give large amounts of money for questionable financial gain. The original complaint arose when a member of the church quit and wanted her money back. 

How funny is this? What makes it particularly amusing is that you can pretty much substitute any church denomination and get the same results. Sure, most call it “tithing” but, let’s face it, a spade is a spade. When you quit the Catholic church, do you get your money back? Didn’t think so. 

The judge stated that the church was “obsessed” with monetary gain and their practices were aimed at putting members into a “state of subjection”. Dude, maybe you should hop a bus to Italy and take a look at the Vatican. Now that’s a group that is obsessed with monetary gain. As for the “state of subjection” charge, what church would pass that litmus test? 

Don’t get me wrong, Scientology seems to be full blown crazy. But, from my point of view, so is every other established religion I can think of. I realize no one really gives a crap about the French because that country has gone to hell in a hand basket. Still, the precedent has been set. Wait until the Jews line up outside of their Synagogue asking for a refund. Rabbi Rabinowitz is not going to be a happy camper. 

I hope when L Ron Hubbard comes back from the big rocket ship in the sky, he points his photon torpedos at the French first. Granted, the odds are pretty slim that L Ron will be showing up anywhere ever but, you have to admit, it would be pretty damned funny. Tom Cruise could be the new king and any guy over 5’ 5” would have to have his legs shortened so Tom would tower over them. The women can be tall because Tom is cool with that. 

tom cruise

(Tom says, “The power of Tannerleah compels you! The power of Tannerleah compels you!)

A word of advice to all of my religious friends out there. Stop giving money to your respective churches immediately. You are putting them in danger of being charged with fraud and you wouldn’t want to be the reason that TD Jakes or Joel Osteen gets put in the slammer, would you? 

Instead, send your money directly to me. I personally think 10% is kind of low but do what your heart tells you to do. I will then “reallocate” the money to the various organizations without their solicitation. Kind of like how the US Treasury operates. Your churches will still be funded, minus an administration fee, and no one can be accused of fraud or intimidation. I know…you are thinking, “You are the awsomest TL”. I do it because I care. Now stop reading and start filling up my PayPal account. Do it for the children.

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31 Responses to Church Of Scientology Busted For Fraud In France

  1. art vandelay says:

    not all churches are crooked however what do u expect from scientology? its a cult. i hate it your heart is so hardened….makes me triple sad 😦

  2. art vandelay says:

    I do believe you. Why do you think I’m triple sad???

  3. Donald Mills says:

    I’ve never understood giving money to the church in the first place.

    It’s not like they provide much service. Lousy hours, uncomfortable seating, cheap wafers and limited staff. If you want 10 percent of my pension, try tossing a throw pillow on the pews, make a decent cup of coffee and offer me some bundt cake and a sports page.

    • tannerleah says:

      Couldn’t agree more, Don. Who in the hell decided Sunday would be a good day to go to church? And would it kill people that are speaking in tongues to do so in english so I can understand?

  4. nonnie9999 says:

    churches are like hookers. for money, they’ll sell you a little fantasy and tell you that you’re better than everyone else (unless you hate that. then they’ll tell you that you are very, very bad and must be punished). let’s get rid of houses of worship and make men of the cloth stand on street corners in low cut shirts and torn fishnet stockings. if they’re going to take your money, let them put some real effort into it.

  5. I think Tom’s gaze actually means “Summon the lawyers!” Something most religions have in common is fraudulent actions, hypocrisy and, of course, the unerring belief that the best offense is a pack of lawyers.

    But as usual, the French have fucked it all up again. 900K? Is that it? They’re probably using 100K notes for bookmarks over at the Crazy Lab. If you really want to punish them, you need to start somewhere in the $20-40 million range, which will at least slow them down until Tom (I’m as Short as I am Craaaazyyy) Cruise lands another role.

  6. I don’t think you’re going to make much on this deal…maybe you could sweeten the pot and include another pic of Salma Hayek.

  7. nursemyra says:

    Tom can’t handle the truth 😉

  8. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Scientology (which should be renamed WTF-ology), is probably no more ‘whacked’ than our other ‘traditional’ religions when you delve into the nitty-gritty theological crapola. As a ‘newer’ cult, it has not had enough time to evolve. In the book “Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart” humorist Jim Dawson writes how the Moabites “assigned the health of their belly and bowels to the deity Bel-Phegor. At Bel-Phegor’s altar a supplicant was expected to present his bare ass and make an offering in hopes of keeping himself free of stomach ailments and hemorrhoids. Said Bourke, “the worshipper of Bel-Phegor would offer him the sacrifice of flatulence and excrement, testimonies of the good health for which gratitude was due to the deity.” The prophet Isaiah might have been commenting on this practice when, after Jehovah laid waste to the Moabites, he said in chapter 16, verse 11: “Wherefore my bowels shall sound like a harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for (the Moabite city of ) Kir-ha’resh.”

    Or, how about this jewel? Scientologists believe that when a person dies, their thetan (“soul”) is transported to a “landing station” (I kid you not) on Venus where it is re-implanted. Venusians (who are miraculously able to withstand pressure 90 times greater than Earth and a surface temperature of 480 degrees) then capsulate the thetan and transport it back to planet Earth where it is ceremoniously flung in the Pacific Ocean (right off the coast of California [I’m guessing around Berkeley]). This is the Scientology version of re-incarnation.

    It’s all the same to me: scientologists measuring ‘thetan levels’ using E-meters, paying to get ‘audited’, celestial farting, and the widespread belief that you are going to live happily ever after when you die…and, by the way, you get around 1-65 years (assuming around age 13 years you can differentiate right from wrong) to decide how the next 1,000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
    0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
    0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
    0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
    000000000000(we haven’t even warmed up yet)000000
    0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
    0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
    0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
    infinitum years will be lived.

    It’s all just so LOGICAL. Pffttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

  9. art vandelay says:

    Quadruple sad.

  10. art vandelay says:

    uber sad. do you understand that?

  11. art vandelay says:

    My son had a good question–if we are products of evolution, why are there still apes?

    • elizabeth3hersh says:

      A better question to ask is “if we are products of evolution, why is there still so much ‘ape mentality’ in humans?” Clearly, we have a lot more ‘evolving’ (or educating) to do.

      Even O’Reilly believes in evolution as he admitted such when debating Professor Dawkins (yes, that Richard Dawkins).

  12. tannerleah says:

    When were apes ever human?

  13. art vandelay says:

    One of these days you’ll stop rejecting the truth. It’s all around you…you just have to be open to seeing it. I felt very foolish because it’s SO obvious. I do agree though–10 percent is a little salty–especially when you’re wealthy like me.

  14. art vandelay says:

    I guess I should’ve clarified, I’m wealthy by Obama’s standards.

  15. Manson48 says:

    Yeah, all religions are nothing more than scams, bilking morons out of their money, with ridiculous claims of miracles and everlasting existance somewhere in the universe. But why penalize the snake oil salesman for feeding the delusional masses with fairytales and promises of a ten fold return on what is practically worthless paper anyways? I think we should reward these guys, for showing us how pathetic the human race really is. JM

    • tannerleah says:

      I think I may have just found a cure for my depression. Thank you, JM. Your level of cynicism makes my view of the world all sunshine and rainbows. (But not Rainbow Kisses…that is just wrong).

      I look forward to more uplifting comments.

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