Wanted: New Parents For Balloon Boy

October 15, 2009

Regardless of which, if any, parts of this story are true, can we agree that the Balloon Boy and his siblings would be better off basically anywhere else? The parents are ridiculous media whores and have already made it clear that they will do pretty much anything to gain notoriety…whether it is at the expense of their children or not.

Good Lord, they named the little idiot Falcon. How much more proof do you need that they are completely irresponsible and incompetent? Beyond that, they are not sure whether a helium filled balloon in their back yard could have possibly been untied by a 6 year old. I can tell you with pure confidence that the 20 foot balloon in my backyard can only be untethered by an adult…a wily one at that.

Of course the police helped these idiots put on a great show. Never really occurred to anyone to scour the house first? The “let’s see if he is flying across Colorado” plan seemed like a better place to start? Awesome. You can bet that OJ will be moving to Colorado as soon as he gets out of jail. The media did their usual job of playing along and making it as dramatic as possible. God, if only TMZ could have captured that magical shot of a 6 year old falling 7000 from the sky. Pure gold!

I was going to post something about the parent that sold their kid for a cockatoo and $150 but I just can’t take it anymore. Whenever I am pretty sure I have reached the bottom of the bad parenting barrel, some other douche monkey swoops in and lowers the bar even more. All for the sake of either another hit of crack or the possibility of a reality show. I will have to aggressively channel surf to avoid seeing anymore about these idiots as they will no doubt be all over the place.

My only hope is that someone with a lick of sense from child protective services takes a long hard look at this situation. While this is all good fun and high times for momma and poppa nutball, once again, the kids are getting the short end of the stick. The Jacksons, Gosselins…hell, even Leave it to fu**in’ Beaver have been used like drug mules all for the entertainment of adults.

If there is a God, and there isn’t, He will find a way to stick these useless parents in their homemade balloon 20,000 feet in the air. We will then give Kanye a rifle and all of the bullets he needs to bring it down. Now THAT would be good entertainment.