Here is one of the many questions that keep me up at night. Why do terrorists insist on looking like terrorists? I mean, where is the training on disguises or blending into the local community?
The latest alleged terrorist to be arrested is Najibullah Zazi. Here is a photo of Naj.
Already, without him uttering a word, I can tell he is probably guilty. Why? Because he is wearing that scruffy looking beard that all terrorists wear. I could see if he was hiding out in an Amish community but this look just isn’t going to work in the rest of the country. He might as well be wearing batteries and wires taped to his chest. Guilty, guilty, guilty.
Beyond the look, of course, is the unpronounceable name. Wouldn’t it behoove just one of these guys to change their name to Bob Smith or Joe West? You know…at least make a tiny effort to hide their roots? But no, they just collect the vowels and move straight ahead.
Now, for all I know, Naj is totally innocent of the charges against him. However, due to his name and the fact that he is wearing a goat beard, I am going to have to vote against him. (Oh, and the bomb making paperwork in his car kind of works against him too).
To be fair, however, Naj does have his fair share of supporters. His aunt, Rabia, gave an iron clad reason for her nephew’s innocence. She said, “He doesn’t have time. He’s working.” How do you plan on overcoming that bit of hard core information Mr. Prosecutor? It’s not going to be quite as easy as you thought it was, is it?
My guess is that the terrorists must not have cartoons in their country. If so, they would know what every American kid knows by the age of 5. If you are going to set up a trap or make a bomb, you first buy a disguise kit from ACME. Then, once you have thoroughly fooled everyone, you do your dirty deed.
There was a reason that they didn’t pick fat chicks to be on Charlie’s Angels. You can’t go undercover as a model or roller skater if you are pushing 350 pounds. (That’s 100 kilos in foreign weight). Al Qaeda would be well served to watch a little American TV before trying anymore shenanigans.