Read This Or I Will Probably Die

At least that’s how I think these chain e-mail things work. So, while I am waiting for the money to arrive from a dead relative somewhere overseas, (Where the hell is Burkina Faso?) I figured I would do as Sweats Model has instructed me to do.

First, I shall tag Elizabeth, Art (wherever the hell he/she is) and DavisW. I am sure they greatly appreciate me putting their collective lives on the line. Just do it or die! 


1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.   Amy, Suzie-and me. She even wore dress-up dresses during the

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch _____. A big pile of air.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?  Whatever my wife had on. Riveting.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is? 6:00

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? 6:04

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? The drone of some corporate radio station that spews its corporate music. Just wait until I learn how to change the station.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?  Last night. Bow hunting lions.

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?   Myself, of course.

9. What are you wearing?  Black shirt, no pants…as usual.

10. When did you last laugh?   1968.

 11. What is on the walls of the room you are in? Looks like some sort of paint. Yes, paint.

12. Seen anything weird lately?  My dog holding a banana and roll of duct tape. (I should have never shown him).

13. What do you think of this quiz?   I hope I win!

14. What is the last film you saw?  Some Disney movie that my son was watching. Riveting.

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what’s the first thing you would do?  Make fun of poor people.

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!  Sarah Palin loves me as much as I love her. Right Sarah? Sarah?

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Create a death panel for stupid people.

 18. Do you like to Dance? Oh…I can cut a rug. Believe dat.

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?  Leah

 20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?  Tanner

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?  Living on a broad? I guess if she was big enough.

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?   Don’t worry…I actually do have a sense of humor. (Jesus? Not so much…)

 23. What time is it now? Daytime.


16 Responses to Read This Or I Will Probably Die

  1. Vicki says:

    I thought I was your Sarah Palin?

  2. yorksnbeans says:

    So THAT’S how you got your name!! Now, the entire world makes sense.

  3. elizabeth3hersh says:

    1) “Pluck it again, and it turns into a neutrino.”
    2) silk drapes by Neiman Marcus
    3) “How to Make a Star on Earth” (Science Channel)
    4) 3 pm?
    5) 2:56 pm
    6) static (I haven’t have my caffeine yet)
    7) looked at the moon which had turned orange from
    the California wildfires
    8) Twitter
    9) Burberry pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt
    10) last night: I crack myself up regularly
    11) Flemish antique oil painting with ornate frame
    12) see answer 7
    13) I love quizzes
    14) Baraka (wow!!)
    15) check into a luxury suite at the Encore (Las
    Vegas), dine at Joël Robuchon, see Cirque du
    Soleil’s “O”
    16) I am passionate about refrigerators from the 40s
    and 50s
    17) continuing TL’s idea, prevent stupid people from
    18) only when I’m drunk and I haven’t been drunk in
    15 years:-(
    19) Rachel
    20) Herschl
    21) I’m currently planning a year abroad in London
    22) “Heaven is a quantum fluctuation-you’re admitted”
    23) time to get off the computer and do some real work

    How much extra time does this buy me?

  4. I’m reading… don’t want you to die! Riveting stuff, thank you. I feel like i now know everything about the man behind the booze

  5. nonnie9999 says:

    okay, i’ve saved your life. what are you going to do for me?

  6. elizabeth3hersh says:

    “Amy, Suzie-and me. She even wore dress-up dresses during the”…

    TL, what book is that from??

  7. elizabeth3hersh says:

    I would have guessed a sequel to Little House on the Prairie.

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