A Vibrator To Correct Your Posture? Sure…Whatever You Say.

Is there anything that modern science can’t make better? I think not. Case in point, the new iPosture device. This small device is to be used by all of us humped back people that can’t stand up straight. Or is it? 

It works like this. You hook the iPosture to your skin or clothes and each time you slouch, it starts to vibrate. Here is a photo of the contraption.

iPosture

Apparently, once you become fully erect, it stops vibrating. Now, for some of you, this might seem like a fatal flaw in the contraptions design. Get your head out of the gutter. This is a serious therapeutic device. 

The instructions don’t say exactly where on the body the device should be placed and I worry this could lead to some confusion. Plus, for the mentally ill amongst you, I can see some opportunity for abuse. 

My other fear is that this small vibrator could be kind of a “gateway” vibrator and lead its owners to bigger and more pulsing alternatives. In fact, I understand that the iPosture team is working on a larger model, exclusively for women, called the “Vulvanator”. 

They are also making a male version, cleverly known as the “Shaky Vagina”. (I think it will be like the equivalent of having sex with Katharine Hepburn in her later years.) As you can see, what started off as a promising way to correct posture has quickly became a seedy proposition. 

Get an iPosture if you must but beware of the possible risks. For instance, murmuring strange noises and fidgeting at staff meetings is not going to be well received by your boss. Unless, of course, you buy him / her one and then you can all sit around the table moaning together. (Again, for men, it STOPS vibrating when you are “upright”. So you may feel somewhat left out by the end of the meeting when your female co-workers are striking up their smokes.) 

If you buy now, you will also get a ShamWow with your iPosture. Not sure I understand the correlation but what do I know. Be safe out there.

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23 Responses to A Vibrator To Correct Your Posture? Sure…Whatever You Say.

  1. acesand8s says:

    I have been typing “shaky vagina” into the WordPress search for months to no avail. You can imagine my surprise and elation when this popped up today (pun absolutely intended). Thank you for tagging this appropriately, and keep up the good work 🙂

    Aces

  2. Too funny? is Acesand8s a newbie?

    AS for the whole vibrator thing, my boyfriend will be soooooooo excited as he’s been wanting to buy me something like this, but for some reason he wants one with a remote control? what’s that all about? she asks with a vacuous look on her face!!

  3. you will also get a ShamWow with your iPosture

    The shamwow is to clean up your Ijaculate.

  4. nonnie9999 says:

    i’m relieved to know i can finally take off this damned tape recorder with my mother’s voice on a loop telling me stand up straight! stop slouching!

  5. elizabeth3hersh says:

    …sort of reminds me of the 80s and 90s when women (certainly not me) would ‘beep’ themselves for the vibe…I understand this involved using the redial button over and over again.

  6. I would imagine having sex with Katherine Hepburn “in her later years” would be like going at with a faulty Magic Fingers bed.

    The potential for injury would seem to be very high, not to mention the abrasions from the roughness.

    Have fun walking.

  7. womaninblack says:

    The Vulvanator? Ah, and there was me thinking my old high school nickname had been lost to the ether.
    Seriously, though. A device to help you stand up? Wasn’t that dealt with by evolution?

  8. nursemyra says:

    where do I sign up for a vulvanator?

  9. yorksnbeans says:

    I take a few days off and find I’ve missed out on so much.

  10. nursemyra says:

    When did you start blogging agin? I thought you’d gone the way of Food Here Convenience Store….

    Great to see you back

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