We all go through it. We try to find a good excuse to get out of work. Usually, we say we are sick or some important emergency has suddenly popped up. These are decent excuses but they have been beaten to death over the years.
Steven Reid of Aberdeen (which I think is in Africa) was feeling the work malaise one day and decided to do something about it. He wanted something unique and believable as an excuse to get out of the drudgery of his hotel cleaning job.
So, on the way to another day of doldrums, a light bulb went off in young Steve’s head. Without hesitation, he pulled a razor out of his pocket (probably the kind that most of us carry with us everyday) and proceeded to rake it across his face several times.
While this was impressive, Steve was not quite sure if this was good enough. So, ever the thinker, Steve picked up a boulder and started to hit himself in the head and body with it. After he was pretty banged up, he went to the police to say that he had been assaulted by two men. So far, so good.
Sadly, shortly after the police began their investigation, Steve recanted his story and told the truth. As a deputy put it, “He was making his way to work and didn’t really much fancy going”. I would say that pretty much sums it up.
Fortunately, Steve no longer needs to worry about going to a job he hates…he has since been terminated. (Although he is hopeful that they will bring him back. Keep hope alive, Steve!)
Steve has had some time to consider his actions and summed up his decision this way. “Looking back, I should have just phoned work and asked them for the day off.” It is sad to see someone with the sheer genius of Steve have his spirit broken by “the man”.
To top off his humiliation, Steve was fined 100 pounds for “wasting police time”. God, talk about kicking a guy when he is down. Wasn’t the razor to the face and rock to the head enough of a punishment?
Personally, I was impressed by Steve’s story and have committed to raising the stakes the next time I need a day off. I am thinking of severing a few digits and maybe sticking a tree branch up my butt. This should earn me the sympathy of people with handicaps, tree lovers, and the gay community. If I play my cards right, I can see getting a parade out of the deal.
Here’s to you, Steve. May you always find a rock in your path and a razor in your pocket.