I Am A Superstar…Sort Of

A couple of weeks ago, out of the blue, I received an e-mail from an individual who alleged she was a “researcher” for the Dr. Phil show. The e-mail stated that she had read this bit about my issue with older women having children and wanted me to call her. 

Ever the risk taker, I called the number with the Los Angeles exchange fully expecting to be asked to send a “small fee” to Dr Phil in exchange for being on the show. To my surprise, it all seemed relatively legit. They were putting together concepts for shows and thought this might be an interesting subject. 

Immediately, I asked why they would care about the opinion of a completely anonymous blogger? I was told it was because I represent the “average” person. I must say, being called average was one of the nicest compliments I have received in a long time.   

The nice young lady asked me to send a photo so they could put it on their board, and that was that. Can superstardom be far off at this point? The last time I was this famous was when I snuck onto the set of a John Butcher Axis video. Heady times, indeed. 

Anyway, since that conversation, I have not heard from the fine folks in Dr Phil land. I wonder what could be taking so long? I tried to think of anything that I have written in other posts that might have rubbed them the wrong way. Except for several comments about Oprah’s weight, I don’t think there is anything. (And that shouldn’t matter since my sources tell me Phil and Oprah are on the outs). 

It is possible that they have passed on me since I have been so hard on midgets and Eskimos. However, I have been very kind to Sarah Palin so that should earn me some points, right? And it’s not like if I got on the show I was going to rag on Dr Phil’s porn stache or something. I know how to play the game. 

So, I wait. If I am asked to be on the show, and it would probably be one of those primetime specials, I will let you all know. I will need a posse to accompany me on my adventure of new found fame and am willing to be bribed to make you part of the team. But hurry, the fame train will soon be leaving the building.

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34 Responses to I Am A Superstar…Sort Of

  1. Me!! Me!!! I wanna go. I’ll be your bitch~

    as if………

  2. bschooled says:

    Seriously. Pick me…I have always wanted to ask Dr. Phil if that diet book of his is what keeps him looking so trim.

    This is exciting, TL…it’s the closest I’ve been to knowing a celebrity since my sister was on Buckshot: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/9589/jpegbuckshot.jpg

    • tannerleah says:

      See bschooled? Those are exactly the types of questions we CAN’T ask. Just like we can’t talk about wanting to get with his hot wife. That would just be inappropriate.

      And to think I thought Bozo the Clown was the worst kids show ever. Hello Buckshot!

  3. acesand8s says:

    It really sounds exciting! Now…if you get a spot on Maury Povich for one of those paternity test shows…I’m in (if I havent already been booked of course) Good luck!

    • tannerleah says:

      I asked the lady if there would be fisticuffs like the Springer show but she said no.

      Do you think if I got on the Maury show I could hook up with Connie Chung?

  4. elizabeth3hersh says:

    A trip to California works with our schedule so we are all definitely on board. My oldest is applying at UC schools, but I think we could fit in ‘posse-ing’ between campus tours. Will this be akin to Entourage? If so, I have the Ari Gold part down pat.

  5. yorksnbeans says:

    Crap, there’s probably no more room left for me, but if I behave(or not)will you let me squeeze in next to you TL, as we cruise Santa Monica Blvd.?

  6. Just hope they don’t mix your picture up with the show on Male Infertility.

  7. frigginloon says:

    I guess you aren’t “average” enough. Dissed by Dr Phil, now maybe he will have a show about that….keep waiting by the phone! 🙂

    • tannerleah says:

      Ah…good point. I could have been played for the sucker Internet guy that will believe anything. Oh well, I have a very large settlement coming to me from overseas (long lost relative in Jamaica). We’ll see who gets the last laugh.

  8. nonnie9999 says:

    i should go, tannerleah. though i have never watched the dr. phil show, i’m positive that it’s boring, and i will bring some excitement to it when i call him an asshole in front of his adoring moronic audience. just for good measure, i’ll insult oprah, too.

  9. My ace in the hole, TL is my ability to produce a completely drunk and violently profane Clive Fucking Cussler at the drop of the hat.

    If need be, I can also produce his idiot son.

    That should make for some Must See Midafternoon Syndicated TV.

    All that swearing and vomiting and yelling about “Ships what float.” Good times…

  10. elizabeth3hersh says:

    My lovely Canadian neighbor offered to give me a box of Clive Cussler novels last week. I still do not know who is Clive Fu**ing Cussler (apparently, my neighbor adores him). My question Capitalist, do I accept the books (and crack one open) or offer to sell them for him on eBay? Am I missing something?

  11. Anonymous says:

    I think the likelihood of your being called up to Dr. Phil has gone up tenfold with this blog – Am I one of your posse?

  12. I really though Springer would be calling you WAAAAYYYY before Phil. Ok, swing the bus by my house, I’m not a fan of Phil much, but I do want to go along just to party with everyone else.

  13. womaninblack says:

    I’m prepared to cross the Atlantic to be there for you. I think if you let them know there will be someone with a British accent there, it should swing it. You Yanks love us Brits, especially when we tell you what it’s like having tea with the Queen.

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