Town Hall Meetings = Retard Gathering

Here is what I have learned from all of the recent town hall meetings I have seen on television. We are a nation of retards. Not the cute cuddly “Corky” retards…but the nasty, difficult, poop throwing, criminal retards that generally occupy our state insane asylums. 

Before you tell me why I am wrong and picking sides, let me say that both sides of the aisle are equally retarded. The right wants to know if we are in Russia and the left wants to know how we are going to stop insurance companies from driving us all to the poor house. Neither side listens to the other and the rhetoric is straight off of a professional wrestling script. 

Interestingly, the politicians just kind of stand aimlessly in the middle of these things looking absolutely hapless. When your job is to suck everyone’s di**, sometimes it is hard to know which one to put in your mouth first. Quite the conundrum. 

Now you can criticize me for not attending these meetings in person but, unlike apparently the vast majority of these “town hallers”, I have a job that I have to attend to. The welfare moms, cranky old people, and blond GOP soccer moms seem to occupy most of the seats at these gatherings. And really, what a great group to represent the masses! 

I particularly like when the “founding fathers” card is played. You remember these guys don’t you? They were the ones that banged their hot slaves at night while the misses was tending to the darning. We sure wouldn’t want to disappoint those guys. (Just like 200 years from now, people won’t want to disappoint the memory of Pelosi, Kennedy, Bush, and Cheney.) 

Here is what I would like to see happen. Before you get to speak at a town hall meeting, you have to take a quiz before you get to open your yapper. There has to be at least a sliver of evidence that you are coherent and have actually studied, even a little bit, the subject you are talking about. 

In this case, raise your hand if you have read ANY of the Obama health care plan. No? Then shut it. Even a hater like me can’t complain about it because I haven’t seen any of it. It might be the greatest thing ever or worse than putting ketchup on your ice cream. I haven’t a clue. And all of the useless blather from equally ill informed citizens is getting on my last nerve. 

If you must do something, go quietly carry a sign like this guy. God bless America.



31 Responses to Town Hall Meetings = Retard Gathering

  1. Bart says:

    Classic post TL!! A great start to my Friday.

  2. Bart says:

    Hope you don’t mind but I posted this one to my Facebook page. Might bring some more traffic your way.

  3. yorksnbeans says:

    If you have not yet heard this BIMBO, you just have to take a few minutes. (Listen all the way through, it gets better and better) Oy vey!

  4. Damn, you must not have gotten laid lately!
    Seriously, I totally agree with you and by the way.. where I lived before (Alabama) that’s how we spelled it too.

  5. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Can we require a basics civics quiz before being allowed in the voting booth as well (like this gem I found online)? Granted, I might not be allowed in, but that’s my point.

    1) Which of the following are the inalienable rights referred to in the Declaration of Independence?
    A. life, liberty, and property
    B. honor, liberty, and peace
    C. liberty, health, and community
    D. life, respect, and equal protection
    E. life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

    2) In 1933 Franklin Delano Roosevelt proposed a series of government programs that became known as:
    A. the Great Society
    B. the Square Deal
    C. the New Deal
    D. the New Frontier
    E. supply-side economics

    3) What are the three branches of government?
    A. executive, legislative, judicial
    B. executive, legislative, military
    C. bureaucratic, military, industry
    D. federal, state, local

    4) What was the main issue in the debates between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen A. Douglas in 1858?
    A. Is slavery morally wrong?
    B. Would slavery be allowed to expand to new territories?
    C. Do Southern states have the constitutional right to leave the union?
    D. Are free African Americans citizens of the United States?

    5) The United States Electoral College:
    A. trains those aspiring for higher political office
    B. was established to supervise the first televised presidential debates
    C. is otherwise known as the U.S. Congress
    D. is a constitutionally mandated assembly that elects the president
    E. was ruled undemocratic by the Supreme Court

    6) The Bill of Rights explicitly prohibits:
    A. prayer in public school
    B. discrimination based on race, sex, or religion
    C. the ownership of guns by private individuals
    D. establishing an official religion for the United States
    E. the president from vetoing a line item in a spending bill

    7) What was the source of the following phrase: “Government of the people, by the people, for the people”?
    A. the speech “I Have a Dream”
    B. Declaration of Independence
    C. U.S. Constitution
    D. Gettysburg Address

    8) In 1935 and 1936 the Supreme Court declared that important parts of the New Deal were unconstitutional. President Roosevelt responded by threatening to:
    A. impeach several Supreme Court justices
    B. eliminate the Supreme Court
    C. appoint additional Supreme Court justices who shared his views
    D. override the Supreme Court’s decisions by gaining three-quarter majorities in both houses of Congress

    9) Under Our Constitution, some powers belong to the federal government. What is one power of the federal government?
    A. Make treaties
    B. Make zoning laws
    C. Maintain prisons
    D. Establish standards for doctors and lawyers

    10) Name one right or freedom guaranteed by the first amendment.
    A. Right to bear arms
    B. Due process
    C. Religion
    D. Right to counsel

    11) What impact did the Anti-Federalists have on the United States Constitution?
    A. their arguments helped lead to the adoption of the Bill of Rights
    B. their arguments helped lead to the abolition of the slave trade
    C. their influence ensured that the federal government would maintain a standing army
    D. their influence ensured that the federal government would have the power to tax

    12) Which of the following statements is true about abortion?
    A. it was legal in most states in the 1960s
    B. the Supreme Court struck down most legal restrictions on it in Roe v. Wade
    C. the Supreme Court ruled in Plessy v. Ferguson that underage women must notify their parents of an impending abortion
    D. the National Organization for Women has lobbied for legal restrictions on it
    E. it is currently legal only in cases of rape or incest, or to protect the life of the mother

    13) Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and Aquinas would concur that:
    A. all moral and political truth is relative to one’s time and place
    B. moral ideas are best explained as material accidents or byproducts of evolution
    C. values originating in one’s conscience cannot be judged by others
    D. Christianity is the only true religion and should rule the state
    E. certain permanent moral and political truths are accessible to human reason

    14) The Puritans:
    A. opposed all wars on moral grounds
    B. stressed the sinfulness of all humanity
    C. believed in complete religious freedom
    D. colonized Utah under the leadership of Brigham Young
    E. were Catholic missionaries escaping religious persecution

    15) The phrase that in America there should be a “wall of separation” between church and state appears in:
    A. George Washington’s Farewell Address
    B. the Mayflower Compact
    C. the Constitution
    D. the Declaration of Independence
    E. Thomas Jefferson’s letters

    16) In his “I Have a Dream” speech, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:
    A. argued for the abolition of slavery
    B. advocated black separatism
    C. morally defended affirmative action
    D. expressed his hopes for racial justice and brotherhood
    E. proposed that several of America’s founding ideas were discriminatory

    17) Sputnik was the name given to the first:
    A. telecommunications system
    B. animal to travel to space
    C. hydrogen bomb
    D. manmade satellite

    18) Susan B. Anthony was a leader of the movement to
    A. guarantee women the right to vote in national elections
    B. guarantee former slaves the right to vote
    C. ensure that harsher laws against criminals were passed
    D. reduce the authority of the Constitution of the United States

    19) The Scopes “Monkey Trial” was about:
    A. freedom of the press
    B. teaching evolution in the schools
    C. prayer in the schools
    D. education in private schools

    20) Who is the commander in chief of the U.S. military?
    A. Secretary of the army
    B. Secretary of state
    C. President
    D. Chairman of the Joint Chiefs

    21) Name two countries that were our enemies during World War II.
    A. Canada and Mexico
    B. Germany and Japan
    C. England and Spain
    D. China and Russia

    22) What part of the government has the power to declare war?
    A. Congress
    B. the president
    C. the Supreme Court
    D. the Joint Chiefs of Staff

    23) In October 1962 the United States and the Soviet Union came close to war over the issue of Soviet:
    A. control of East Berlin
    B. missiles in Cuba
    C. support of the Ho Chi Minh regime in Viet Nam
    D. military support of the Marxist regime in Afghanistan

    24) In the area of United States foreign policy, Congress shares power with the:
    A. president
    B. Supreme Court
    C. state governments
    D. United Nations

    25) Free enterprise or capitalism exists insofar as:
    A. experts managing the nation’s commerce are appointed by elected officials
    B. individual citizens create, exchange, and control goods and resources
    C. charity, philanthropy, and volunteering decrease
    D. demand and supply are decided through majority vote
    E. government implements policies that favor businesses over consumers

    26) Business profit is:
    A. cost minus revenue
    B. assets minus liabilities
    C. revenue minus expenses
    D. selling price of a stock minus its purchase price
    E. earnings minus assets

    27) Free markets typically secure more economic prosperity than government’s centralized planning because:
    A. the price system utilizes more local knowledge of means and ends
    B. markets rely upon coercion, whereas government relies upon voluntary compliance with the law
    C. more tax revenue can be generated from free enterprise
    D. property rights and contracts are best enforced by the market system
    E. government planners are too cautious in spending taxpayers’ money

    28) A progressive tax:
    A. encourages more investment from those with higher incomes
    B. is illustrated by a 6% sales tax
    C. requires those with higher incomes to pay a higher ratio of taxes to income
    D. requires every income class to pay the same ratio of taxes to income
    E. earmarks revenues for poverty reduction

    29) A flood-control levee (or National Defense) is considered a public good because:
    A. citizens value it as much as bread and medicine
    B. a resident can benefit from it without directly paying for it
    C. government construction contracts increase employment
    D. insurance companies cannot afford to replace all houses after a flood
    E. government pays for its construction, not citizens

    30) Which of the following fiscal policy combinations would a government most likely follow to stimulate economic activity when the economy is in a severe recession?
    A. increasing both taxes and spending
    B. increasing taxes and decreasing spending
    C. decreasing taxes and increasing spending
    D. decreasing both taxes and spending

    31) International trade and specialization most often lead to which of the following?
    A. an increase in a nation’s productivity
    B. a decrease in a nation’s economic growth in the long term
    C. an increase in a nation’s import tariffs
    D. a decrease in a nation’s standard of living

    32) Which of the following is a policy tool of the Federal Reserve?
    A. raising or lowering income taxes
    B. increasing or decreasing unemployment benefits
    C. buying or selling government securities
    D. increasing or decreasing government spending

    33) If taxes equal government spending, then:
    A. government debt is zero
    B. printing money no longer causes inflation
    C. government is not helping anybody
    D. tax per person equals government spending per person
    E. tax loopholes and special-interest spending are absent

    • Here goes (and this is off the top of my head):

      1. E
      2. C
      3. A
      4. B
      5. D
      6. D
      7. D
      8. D
      9. A
      10. B
      11. A
      12. B
      13. E
      14. A
      15. E
      16. D
      17. D
      18. B
      19. B
      20. C
      21. B
      22. A
      23. B
      24. A
      25. B
      26. C
      27. C
      28. C
      29. B
      30. D (“should”)
      30. A-C (“would”)
      31. A
      32. C
      33. A

      Excellent post, Elizabeth. I’m feeling about 80% sure of my answers.

      The final 7-8 questions were a little tricky, as I answered what I thought should be the right answer, rather than what is apparently an acceptable answer to our government.

      • elizabeth3hersh says:

        Capitalist, you have more than earned the right to vote and participate in raucous town hall meetings. How did you score? An impressive 79%! Not only that, I am going to award you 10 bonus points for any misfiring neurons (cerebral functions not properly primed) due to your recent smoking cessation program.

        Average score for all Americans taking this test: 49%
        College educators: 55%

        When the next election comes around, your one vote will now count as two since I will be voting who you vote for (give me an early heads up as I vote absentee ballot).

        Awesome job!!

  6. Hey don’t make fun of my man. He was protesting Erin Moran and her family.

  7. hoboduke says:

    The Michael Moore solutions is fun and pays for itself! Get the seniors off those casino tour buses to Indian Reservations. Get them on a cruise ship to Cuba!
    Grandpa can have cigars, rum, and a bottle of viagra for some fun! Grandma can have a cabana boy chasing her around! They will die happy! Sign me up!
    No way I’m going to Canada! Cuba is the place to be!

  8. Donald Mills says:

    Ha! A fine photo and a great post. Well done, lad.

  9. womaninblack says:

    I have to go to lots of council meetings thanks to my job. I am yet to attend one where I am confident that even five per cent of those speaking have a clue what they’re on about.
    Five per cent is being generous. I meant 0.5 per cent.

    I see you were gone while I was gone. The world must have gone to hell in a handcart.

  10. Why, why, why are we so crazed? Do you think fast foods and bovine hormones have melted our brains?

    It’s truly getting embarrassing.

  11. Sweats Model says:

    I’ve read the healthcare reform bill and caution anyone who supports it. Our healthcare system requires an overhaul and the mission is a respectable one; however much of the fine print buried in the 162 pages (I believe that’s the count)is frightening. If it passes in its current form, be prepared for some change, indeed.

  12. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Want to fix the health care system? I have a plan!! First off, I would hire Dr. Jason Newsom and immediately appoint him Surgeon General. Dr. Newsom would be instructed to promptly put America (and Regina Benjamin) on a diet–preferably something along the lines of the Mediterranean diet. In the event you have not heard of Dr. Newsom, he is the Panama City, FL doctor who was recently fired from his job as county health department head for the following electronic signs he posted outside of the health department:
    “Sweet Tea=Liquid Sugar”

    “Hamburgers=Spare Tire”

    “French Fries=Thunder Thighs”

    Who else but Richard Simmons would be appointed exercise czar and would be given his own state owned TV channel (can we say “Farewell to Fat?)”. Charles Krauthammer would finally be able to implement his ideas on tort reform and real health insurance reform whereby health insurance would no longer be tied to employment (yippee!).

    The bulk of health care costs are behavioral driven: junk food junkies, drinking/smoking/drugging (guilty as charged) and lack of exercise in addition to hoards of illegal aliens clogging our emergency rooms and criminal enterprise costing the nation untold BAZILLIONS.

    Of course this plan would never work because it would mean taking PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY and that would be way, way, WAY too intrusive (we’re Amer-i-cants). Which begs the question, exactly what are our responsibilities as citizens? Seems like you need some responsibilities to balance out the ‘rights’ part. No?

    • tannerleah says:

      Who are you to take away my God given right to eat like a pig and drink/smoke/drug? Is this Russia? As an American, I have earned the right to behave in any way I deem fit. And anyone that disagrees with me can move to Mexico.

      Now, please give me all of the free stuff I am entitled too get…like it says in the Constitution.

  13. Squirrel says:

    I loooooove that sign. Made me laugh.

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