Old People, Like Steven Tyler, Should Hang It Up

As you probably have heard, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith accidentally fell off stage and hurt himself. Of course he did! When 61 year old people fall, even a short distance, they break. Steven is lucky his hip didn’t shatter into 30 pieces. (It was unclear if he had a LifeCall pendant which summoned help for him.) 

While I appreciate that elderly performers still crave the attention that they received when they were young, they are doing a disservice to their legacy by constantly rolling out every year. Why can’t they bow out gracefully and live on their millions? 

While there are a few exceptions, these guys are not getting better with age. Have you heard Steven or Bob Dylan or Mick Jagger lately? Or even in the last 10 years? Not so good. (And contrary to what you think, Bob did have a respectable voice at one time.   

I suppose aging rock stars are no worse than the aging fans that spend billions of dollars on things that will help them look younger. As someone that attends some of these concerts, I am quickly brought back to my current age by admiring the collection of fellow fans. The muffin top women that are spilling out in all the wrong places painted up like they were auditioning for the “Whore of the Year” contest. 

Plus us men with the gray and balding tops praying that a goatee will take attention away from our lack of hair challenges. Of course we also have weight issues. Generally we sport our considerable girth in concert t-shirts that might have fit us some twenty years earlier. Fortunately, after a few beers, the reality of who we are gets washed away in alcohol, soft middle age. Problem solved. 

Can we just get to a point where it is ok to age and look old? Would that really be such a bad thing? Sure, guys are still going to dump the older woman for the newer model but that’s just how God wants it. The new legion of old looking woman can gather in small groups and read The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants. 

As for rock stars…let it go. You have enough cash and you will still be adored by your legion of fans. Getting up and twirling on stage at 61 is just silly. Even if I am willing to pay $250 a ticket to see you do it.

steven tyler









Seriously ladies? You would still do this guy?


33 Responses to Old People, Like Steven Tyler, Should Hang It Up

  1. Bart says:

    I agree that these geezers are like boxers who just don’t know when to hang up the jock strap. But rockin is what keeps these guys going. Look at Jagger, Bowie, Stewart (Rod), and all the other oldies. Not too many men in their 60s would have the balls, intestinal fortitude or the lungs to jump around on stage like these guys are still doing.

  2. Honestly, they scare me too, and I grew up with them.

    And I heard Dylan sing two years ago – although I hesitate to call it singing. He was awful. Past his prime.

  3. yorksnbeans says:

    Considering the fact that all three of the artists you mentioned were not even attractive in their younger years (at least to moi), there is absolutely no desire to see them now.

  4. nonnie9999 says:

    i heard that steve tyler was fine. thankfully, he landed on his lips, and that cushioned the fall.

  5. elizabeth3hersh says:

    “Seriously ladies, you would still do this guy?”

    No, but I WOULD do Peter Falk, no matter how old he gets (I don’t know if it was the Peugeot, his wandering right eye, the trench coat or his wafting cigar smoke, but that man still turns me on). Excuse me why I go relieve myself.

  6. yorksnbeans says:

    Liz…he must get you flustered, I don’t see typos from you very often! 😉

    • elizabeth3hersh says:

      Now that I am all calmed down…”while I go relieve myself”…sometimes I feel like I need a dose of Ritalin.

  7. Good lord! I saw the photo and thought you were still harping on the four ugly ladies!

    Nothing like a concert that reeks of formaldehyde. You expect to see a top-hatted mortician standing in the wings, twirling his handlebar moustache in anticipation.

    If it’s 30 minutes past the concert’s start time and the band still hasn’t appeared, does everyone queue up by the newstand to check the obituaries? (I’m kidding, of course. We have web-enabled phones now. Even the older folks.)

    Oddly enough, I was just going to start bitching about rock stars and their fondness for lifetime employment. Should be up sometime tomorrow morning. Mine has a lot of drug references and obscenities, so gather the kids around the monitor. Especially you, Elizabeth.

    However, Paul Newman was one good-looking sonuvabitch all the way to the end. So, aging gracefully is not impossible. Just very nearly impossible.

    • elizabeth3hersh says:

      My youngest will definitely be looking for your post Capitalist. She thinks you are the bomb.

      • Bebe says:

        Ugh, “the bomb”?! What year do you think this is, 2001? Seriously, Mother.

        P.S. Quit displaying my PRIVATE emotions for the all the blogosphere to see via comment forum. I’m CLEARLY playing hard to get… thanks for ruining my chances with the lion tamer 😦

        • tannerleah says:

          Bebe! Welcome! I would ask that you keep direct sniping with your mother in private. Other than that, I look forward to seeing you display your impressive writing skills.

    • tannerleah says:

      A tip of my gin and juice to Paul Newman…a man’s man. (Do real men drink gin and juice?)

  8. elizabeth3hersh says:

    I’ve lived in Las Vegas for five years and had never visited the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino until this evening. The Hard Rock houses rock memorabilia/costumes in Plexiglas booths. Steven Tyler’s stage clothing was prominently displayed as you enter the Hard Rock…textiles to die for. Based on the photo you posted TL, Steve Tyler seems to be getting that haggard Charles Krauthammer look (or a ghoulish participant in a Wade Robson number). Still, the man can rock da haus!!

  9. Contrary to YOUR opinion, Bob Dylan never sounded good. Anyone that sounds like they recorded their songs on the crapper with constipation isn’t very good.

  10. I just got my “Grumpy Old Men Tour’ satin touring jacket in the mail.

    AARP is rocking da house.

  11. I’d do Paul Newman, or would have…
    But,hold on Tannerleah.. did your really say, “guys are still going to dump the older woman for the newer model but that’s just how God wants it.”

    Grrr… Please come on.. what we lack in firm and taut we more than make up in skill!!!!! And, I even have references to prove it.

    • tannerleah says:

      Ah, but we can’t “see” skill as it walks by us. Firm and taut hits us right between the eyes. Oh, and as I mentioned, God wants it this way. Who am I to disagree? (Remember the whole “Eve” thing? She was firm and taut).

      • How do you know Eve was firm and taut? Have you been looking at those Bible books they had in the Doctor’s waiting rooms, the ones with the big color pictures of Adam and Eve?
        God speaks to you, hmmmm what else does he say? Hearing little voices are we?

  12. I often hear from Judge Judy.

  13. Vicki says:

    A few years back I took my daughter to a “Monkey’s” concert…I thought it would be fun to see how they are now. Turns out it wasn’t a good idea…they looked like little bent over national geographic monkey’s…sad really. The audience was down right scary! Its traumatic to see 50 plus women throwing their bras at old men! Trust me , you don’t want that visual in your head!!!!!!!!!

    Funny stuff tannerleah!!

    • tannerleah says:

      Thank you Vicki, and welcome!

      I think it would be awesome to see 50 plus women throw their bras. Maybe even 100 plus!

      Oh wait, you meant their age, didn’t you? Ewwww….

  14. Vicki says:

    Yes, Ewwwww!!!

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