How Many Ugly Women Can You Sleep With?

Look, we all know that every guy has the “multiple partner” fantasy. (Usually, the partners are female). When I read that a married guy in Wisconsin was sleeping with 4 women, I was duly impressed. I quickly checked to see if he was Mormon and he was not. Now, I am even more impressed. 

That is until I saw the photo’s of the 4 women that he had hooked up with. In the multiple partner fantasy, the extra girl(s) is supposed to be incrementally more attractive than your current partner. After all, what is the point of sleeping with someone else who looks the same, or worse, than what you already have? 

Here is the murderer’s row of women that this unnamed guy was cavorting with. (His name is being withheld).

Cheater Assaulted

 Cheater AssaultedCheater AssaultedCheater Assaulted

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hardly a group that you would find in Maxim or Playboy. Christ, they couldn’t make it on a milk carton. Consider my appreciation of this situation completely ruined. 

As usual with these stories, it gets worse. Seems our dude was “dating” each of the other women behind his wife’s back. Unfortunately for him, they all found out about his wayward behavior. 

One of the beauties lured him to a hotel room and tied his hands up. Awaiting an exciting sexual romp with her (I just threw up in my mouth a little), the other 3 hotties came into the room. At this point, they promptly Super Glued his penis to his stomach. Why did they do this? Who knows…I can’t imagine they thought he would be having an erection anytime soon. 

I guess, at this point, the women shouted at him and then left as he screamed like a girl. He managed to get free and called the cops. The 4 Musketeers were promptly charged with false imprisonment and taken to the pokey. 

Here is my issue with all of this. Why did this guy cheat on his wife with such fugly looking women? I can understand taking the chance for Angelina Jolie or even Oprah (doing it for the money), but these chicks? Are all Wisconsin women as homely as this? It makes no sense whatsoever. Thank God they didn’t do a porno with this bunch. 

I need to go watch “Big Love” to have my faith in polygamy restored.

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21 Responses to How Many Ugly Women Can You Sleep With?

  1. yorksnbeans says:

    First off….Big Love – one of my faves (and I don’t have many on TV) The other one is Curb (Your Enthusiasm..that is).

    Okay, now back to the post. TL, you are assuming the wife is either equal or prettier than this group, which is probably not the case.

  2. Sweats Model says:

    I think there’s a dude in that mix.

  3. duncanr says:

    Nearly put something up in MH about this story, YnB.

    The wife is the ‘beauty’ in the top right pic – immediately above the bespectacled one.

    Got to say this lot scare the shit out of me just looking at them !!!

  4. Tizzle says:

    Glad to see you are back to add some laughter in my day. I couldn’t agree more, all those “women” are foul. What did the guy look like?

  5. bschooled says:

    Hi Tannerleah,

    I stumbled upon your post, and I thought I would share with you a quote that my Uncle (who looks oddly similar to the one the upper right), used to always say.

    “It is better to have had a harem of ovotestis than never to have had a harem at all.”

    At least he keeps my cousins locked in a basement…

    (great blog, btw)

    Bschooled 🙂

  6. elizabeth3hersh says:

    May I recycle a suggestion I left for one of your blogging cohorts in crime, Ram (“Food Here Convenience Store”)? This strategy will be even MORE effective as there will be four times the ballast: rather than superglue his penis to his abdomen, the burly babes should simply straddle the dude in tandem and with the right amount of thrust (in unison) and at the right angle they would been able to transanally eviscerate him. Some of it may even blow out his schlong. That would smart. Bad.

    (This type of ‘creative thinking’ may explain why I’m not married).

  7. You just described my loathing for the movie Fatal Attraction.

  8. nonnie9999 says:

    what does he look like? i’m thinking larry the cable guy, but less a couple of teeth and not as metrosexual.

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