Barry (Obama) Is Going To Raise My Taxes, Isn’t He?

I was listening to his minions yesterday and they sure made it sound like a tax hike was coming. Do you remember when it was just going to be the “rich” people that were going to get whacked? Well, I guess the rich can’t cover the bill on their own.

It sure is disappointing when a POTUS backs out of a commitment or, as it can also be described, lies. Bush with his “read my lips” and Clinton with his “I did not have sexual relations” speeches. I believed every word that came out of their collective mouths and it turns out I was duped. 

Well, color me duped again. When Barry said he was not going to raise middle class taxes “one cent”, I took him at his word. I thought he knew what he was talking about and had a definitive plan to make things better. I guess not… 

Don’t get me wrong. I still appreciate his efforts to get me a new car, low price mortgage, free TV box converter, and free healthcare. I just never imagined I would have to pay for this stuff. If I knew it wasn’t really “free”, then I might have looked at things differently. 

We should be able to trust our politicians and take them at their word. When I was young, Richard Nixon did a great job of keeping things on the up and up. Where is that kind of honesty and integrity today? I bet Sarah Palin wouldn’t have lied. She compares herself to a cougar or muskrat or something. As we all know, animals don’t lie. 

Fortunately, there are still virtuous institutions that I can blindly believe in. The stock market, Major League Baseball, professional wrestling, and I just came across this guy named Bernie Madoff who seems to have a pretty good thing going. 

If you are going to raise my taxes, Barry, just let me know when you plan on doing it and how much it is going to cost me. It seems the easier play is to just cut out the middle man, the government, and give the money directly but what do I know. 

Sarah, if you are out there (and I know you are), please swoop in to save us all. If it’s not too much to ask, could you wear those red pumps that you wore during the campaign? Oh, and wear you hair down. Because, if I am going to get screwed up the pooper, I want to enjoy it. (Glad to see you are at least going to wear a glove).    



19 Responses to Barry (Obama) Is Going To Raise My Taxes, Isn’t He?

  1. Well said, TL. When you’re ready to give up on the dream of honest politicians and a Utopian society, give me a holler. I’m stockpiling…canned goods. Yeah, that’s it. Stockpiling canned goods. *cough*

  2. tannerleah says:

    Those canned goods will come in handy when you have to give them to all of your poor neighbors. In fact, you should just give them to them now.

  3. yorksnbeans says:

    That was certainly a disappointment to hear that this weekend. I know the President can only do so much, but that was a major campaign promise. I hope he pulls through.

  4. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Charles Krauthammer was joking several day ago on Fox news, suggesting Obama might as well have a “cash for couches” program to help furniture companies. That got me to thinking about some other programs we could institute to offset the health care costs of Obama’s proposed Canadian modeled Medi-Scare (thereby saving Americans from increased taxes!):

    Cash for your cache–$20 to $200 a pop for your weapon, saving the nation up to 40 billion in annual crime/gang related health care costs.

    Cash for your stash–granted, life would not be worth living anymore, but it would save the country 250 billion annually.

    Cash for cows–not sure how this would work and is certainly not PC, but you would turn in all your junk food (ka-ching!140 billion to the national coffers).

    Cash for couches (credit Krauthammer)–the government would pay you to exercise saving the nation another 40 billion.

    Now if there was a cash for scams program…

    • tannerleah says:

      Hey you communist! I will not give up my junk food or start to exercise. You will have to pry my Ho-Ho from my cold, dead fingers. (Ho-Ho…not to be confused with Hoo-Hoo).

  5. I haven’t had any faith in that man since his heady days as president-elect, when he felt he needed to go tell George Bush Jr. to get a move on the aid package for his Big Three union buddies.

    If I had been Bush (and for several million reasons right off the top of my head, thank god I’m not) I’d have told him, “What does this nameplate on my desk say? It says ‘George Bush Jr.’ When you are actually president, you can come in here and fellate your ‘constituents’ all you want. Until then, fuck off!”

    I’m sure St. Barry would have fired back with something pithy like, “The nameplate says ‘Moustache Rides – $10,’ and you don’t even have a moustache. That may have belonged to Teddy Roosevelt. And for the record, fuck you asshole. I’m no ordinary president. I’m the new black.”

    I could speculate on and on, but of course, that won’t lower my taxes or yours. The middle class has been given more fuckings and empty promises than a yacht full of “personal assistants” and “interns.”

  6. elizabeth3hersh says:

    “Until then, fuck off!”…sounds more like Cheney than Bush.

  7. Well, if the President does raise your taxes, you’ll have plenty of room to go before reversing all the tax cuts you got in the stimulus package. And don’t forget, thanks to President Obama, federal taxes in 2009 will be a smaller percentage of GDP than they were even under Reagan.

    Reality versus what you’re writing — take your pick!

    • My vote’s in for what Tanner’s writing.

    • And what is your point exactly? That Obama’s not spending a ton of money? That he’s carefully and slowly handing out taxpayer money? That he’s not just yet another career politician that’s landed the ultimate Ken and Barbie dreamhouse and is now playing with all the accessories?

      Point 1 – most of the spending spree doesn’t really start until 2010 and beyond, as Obama is quick to point out every someone mentions that the economy is still rather fucked.

      Point 2 – Do you honestly think he’s any different from any president before him? That he’s not going to jet out of the office in 2012 or 2016, tossing the keys to the next new boss (who bears an incredible resemblance to the old boss) and vaguely mentioning something about a bunch of overdue bills in the Oval Office desk drawers?

      That’s the problem with term limits. If you don’t have them, they try to become president-for-life. If you do, then they drive the country like they rented it.

      You really want me to waste my time gaming the party lines. They all are absentee landlords, blowing the rent on expensive dinners and ferris wheel rides for whatever special interest group or lobbyist will let ’em cop a feel.

      It’s all self-interest on Capitol Hill. Thank god we’re financing it.

  8. tannerleah says:

    If you really can’t see that both sides are screwing you, you are not really paying attention.

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