Karl Malden Killed Himself Because Of Michael Jackson?

Now, I have no actual proof of this but I think it is odd that this vibrant, relatively young man just happens to die a few days after Michael died. Plus, there have been reports that no less than 12 other people have killed themselves due to their heartache over MJ’s passing. 

Karl was a spry 97 so the odds of him dying from something “natural” seems pretty unlikely to me. No doubt, TMZ will have the real scoop in just a few short hours. 

And what of these other 12 people? They haven’t been named nor has it been proven that they exist but, why would someone lie about it? The source is some guy that runs a Michael Jackson website so I don’t see how he could have any kind of agenda. In fact, with Karl, the count is now up to 13. Tragic, just tragic. 

I am a little peeved today with MJ because he has cut his ex-wife, Debbie Rowe, out of his will. As you know, Debbie is not a terribly handsome woman but I let her have her way with me in hopes that I might find a sort of financial advantage from doing so. Currently, Debbie has a 72 Pontiac and about $12 in her savings account. Without the MJ cash, I am not going to recover…financially or emotionally. 

Mike also left his dad Joe out of the will. Apparently, there were some hard feelings after all these years because Joe allegedly used Mike as a punching bag as a kid. Now, I don’t normally condone violence against children but Mike probably brought it on himself. If you remember, Mike was supposed to be the baritone of the group and completely failed to fall in line. 

My new plan, if I can wash off what remains of Debbie Rowe, is to hook up with Latoya. I know, I should probably go with Janet but I am afraid of her previous weight gain issues. Latoya is certainly crazier but I think that just gives me a better chance. (And, as usual, Mrs. Tannerleah is completely on board). 

If I can’t land one of the Jackson sisters, I could go after the mom. However, I am afraid of Joe so that’s not happening. Instead, I have had my eye on that Tito for a long time. I am not sure if he is a pitcher or a catcher but I am sure we can work something out. 

Well, I am off to Neverland to start to weasel my way into the fam. Wish me luck!   

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10 Responses to Karl Malden Killed Himself Because Of Michael Jackson?

  1. nonnie9999 says:

    once again, tannerleah, i will suggest to you that jenny sanford is your best option. she’s independently wealthy, and she’s already used to a loveless marriage. she’s the heiress to the skil power tools fortune, and she has not yet sawn off any of sparky marky mark’s parts, so i believe your person will remain intact. there’s also the same reason i cited when i discouraged your interest in kate with the 8 kids–you will only have to deal with 4 rugrats running around. heaven knows how many inhabit the jackson compound.

  2. yorksnbeans says:

    I read earlier today that some boxer killed himself, too.

  3. elizabeth3hersh says:

    You could pay homage to Jacko by going after 11 year Paris Michael Katherine. It would be fitting.

  4. nursemyra says:

    Mrs Tannerleah is very understanding

  5. Perhaps it’s time to track down Miss Ross. She’s going to end up with everything sooner or later. Now Michael’s kids will be able to enjoy the same sort of wire hanger-whipped lifestyle he enjoyed under Joe.

  6. Michael jackson was an phenominal artist and the Best dancer in the world , no one will be able to come even close to what he had achieved in his Life . Every Song of MJ is My Favourite Song.”I Love You forever”.He was the best . His music is so pure that i feels like i am in complete different world , infact i am listening to his music right now while writing this . Now (you are not alone ) Song is going on , i wish just for once in a life time i would have met him , I just can’t stop loving you Rest in Peace “MJ”.

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