As most of you know, I finished my little book about my childhood. Having no great aspirations, I just wanted to get the book printed so I could give it to my kids and a few other people. (Like my attorney in case I run into trouble with the law).
After checking a few sites, I picked Lulu and one of their basic publishing packs. I don’t know the first thing about publishing a book and have no desire to learn. I am more than happy to pay someone to take care of the finer details. (I used the same philosophy in raising our children).
Everything went swimmingly…at first. They made me a nifty little cover that was way better than what I had drawn with my drawer full of crayons. Plus, they gave it the special ISBN number or whatever it is one needs to have a book. I even had them edit the book and they did a smashing job.
Then nothing. For the last 3 weeks, they have apparently fled the country and cannot be tracked down. This is frustrating because all that was left to do was the formatting. I have never formatted anything in my life but it doesn’t sound terribly difficult.
Then, to my surprise, I see that the book is listed on Amazon. This is especially interesting because I am not sure how one sells something that doesn’t actually exist. Maybe they are just selling the concept of the book and, if you purchase it, then they will actually go to the trouble of formatting and printing it.
Anyway, Lulu has decided to treat me like all of the pretty girls in high school…with complete and utter disdain. I am not going to lie, it stings a little. I guess I could go all “Carrie” like on Lulu but I don’t have the energy or desire.
So, I will either find another vendor to handle this seemingly complicated task or just publish the whole thing on-line. Still, there is something attractive about having a book that will be kicking around long after 2012 when the world comes to an end. (Something to do with the Mayan calendar – Google it)
Lulu, I am willing to forgive and forget. Maybe you decided to spend your time with another man. I don’t know and I don’t care. Please take me back and finish my modest project. I know you are kind of a whore because you have already taken my money but I will not judge. (Did I say anything about that sore on your upper lip?) Please treat me right. Yours impatiently, TL