My $90 Breakfast and How I Ultimately Got My Monies Worth

(This is a guest post from one of our favorite contributers, Elizabeth.)

My teenage daughters and I recently returned from a two day mini-vacation at one of the wonderful five star resorts in Las Vegas, aptly named the Wynn Las Vegas. 

I started salivating when I read the room service breakfast menu. My eyes immediately drifted to and fixated on the Japanese breakfast, beignets and smoked salmon bagel. This would be a beast of a breakfast (or so I thought). For those who have never had a Japanese breakfast, it consists primarily of broiled salmon, steamed rice, rolled omelet, nori, miso soup and various pickled vegetables all served ceremoniously on Zen inspired Japanese dishes. Oh, what fun we would have while watching subtitled Korean soap operas while enjoying the multiculturalism offered by the Wynn!! Room service soon arrived and I was presented the check for $90. Breaking down the bill, I quickly discerned that the food came to $67 while the “fees” came to $23. I was grateful that our cheerful waiter advised us that a 18% gratuity had already been added (as a “courtesy”). 

We promptly sat down to tuck into our breakfast. In my exuberance, I grabbed the container of chocolate sauce adjacent to the beignets and artistically drizzled it over my perfectly cooked piece of salmon all the while excitedly exclaiming to my daughters, “look, thick soy sauce!!” I so felt like Jackson Pollack at that special moment. I then proceeded to pour the miso soup (which had been delivered in a tea pot) in my tea cup. You can imagine my surprise when I took the first bite and sip of my $50 (after fees) breakfast item. You must be wondering, did she send it back (no) or did she eat it (yes).The euphemistically titled “rolled omelet” had been divided in the kitchen and each piece was the precise size and thickness of a band-aid (in contrast, my salmon was the size of an actual egg). I have never, ever, had an egg garnish before. The nori (dried seaweed) was enclosed in a cellophane wrapper and measured 3 1/2″ by 1 /14″ inches. The thickness (thinness?) instantly reminded me of the wafers I ate when I accompanied my best friend from elementary school to Sunday morning services at the Mormon church she belonged to (she promised me bread and wine). The “Jewish” bagel breakfast was equally skimpy. For $20 (before fees), one would think they would include a block of cream cheese. This brought to mind the Yiddish word “schmear” as they skated the bagel with a FILM of cream cheese. The “airy” salmon had been carefully shaved in curlicue patterns and fluffed up on the plate giving the appearance of volume. Not even a real Jew is this cheap and no real Jew would ever skimp on cream cheese (since I am a Jew, I can say this).   

The beignets were not the Cajun style New Orleans beignets I had been anticipating, but rather snooty original French beignets (and where was the cafe au lait on the menu because anyone who has ever visited n’Orleans KNOWS that cafe au lait and beignets go together like pastrami and Dr. Brown’s soda). 

I find that the more expensive the restaurant, the smaller the portions and the more exotic and ridiculous sounding the fare, like foie gras frappe, frogs legs meuniere with sour cream gelato, braised bunny…). I guess I like my cuisine a little more down and dirty and less hoity-toity. 

It turns out that my breakfast was not really $90 because I was able to finagle a $50 resort credit prior to checking in and was additionally able to turn my $20 gambling budget into $50 winnings the first night and $100 the second (4 aces on video poker!!). Now, if I can figure out how to finagle a real bagel, beignets and another Japanese breakfast. I’m still hungry.

(I don’t understand half of the words in this but it is still a great story. Thank you!!!)


12 Responses to My $90 Breakfast and How I Ultimately Got My Monies Worth

  1. Kevin John says:

    What? Me first?
    OK. Well I enjoyed Elizabeth’s venture in pampering ‘Au venture’ in Vegas..such a nice place to be. Lost a shitload of money when I was younger and had it, but hey the food was cool.Amoung other things.
    Especially if you’re horney. Or is that horny? I forget.and too lazy to hit the spellcheck.
    Anyway, Lizzy (May i call you ‘Lizzy’?), having a smoked fish whatever for breakfast would be akin to my friends presenting me with a 400lb sexpot in a bikini on my birthday(assuming I was single of course), and telling me “Go at her!”
    Give me a few EGGS sunny side up (I’ll cut off the whites), about a LB of bacon, gravy, rolls, EXTRA butter and a RED BULL.

    Now, my dear lady: THAT is heaven.

    • elizabeth3hersh says:

      It’s most definitely spelled “horny” Mr. Kevin John. I know because I see that word spelled out a lot on billboards here in Vegas-Land. Sorry you lost a boatload of $$. The trick to gambling is to have a set budget and then WALK AWAY when you win or are ahead.

      Methinks you would take a morning stab at Bar Refaeli (I guar-an-tee she eats smoked fish for breakfast), and most men don’t seem to mind the fishy aroma at the other end.

      And, yes, you can call me Lizzy (as in Lizzie’s Bord’n House). I actually contemplated patricide years ago. I’m much calmer now.

  2. May I suggest you check out one of the fabulous buffets in vegas next time

    • elizabeth3hersh says:

      What was I thinking? The Wynn and Bellagio buffets are absolutely the best in town (not to be missed on a trip to Vegas!). I think you are on to something though as I SHOULD have hit the breakfast buffet and put myself on a “calorie budget”. A Wynn/win for everyone.

  3. yorksnbeans says:

    Your story reminds me of my most memorable breakfast, but mine was a positive one. Mr. YnB and I were celebrating an anniversary at a Ritz Carlton resort in rural Georgia (not sure why they chose this location in the middle of bumf*#ck GA, but they did and it is lovely). Anyway, I ordered the Lox and Bagel plate, the price was something like $20.00 I think. Maybe less. When it was placed in front of me, I was gobsmacked (check my “Tuesday Teaser” this week). It was as though an artist had spent a few hours creating the most beautiful arrangement of food on a plate. It was too pretty to eat, but I was starving, so to heck with admiring it, I dug in. But the most memorable item was the lox. Some creative chef had taken each slice and formed them into the most perfect orange rose. I was again “gobsmacked” when I realized how many perfect orange “petals” there actually were to form this rose. When I had finally pulled them all apart and laid them neatly on my bagel, I had a mountain of lox! And, cream cheese galore! Oh my! Had I died and gone to heaven?? I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed my bagel and lox as much as I did that morning!!

    • elizabeth3hersh says:

      Your comment brought back lovely memories of my many stays at the Ritz-Carlton in Naples, Florida (my favorite resort to visit when I lived in Miami Beach). It was a two hour drive across Alligator Alley. A two hour drive from the concrete jungle to an oasis of indulgence and spectacular service, where every need was anticipated, meals were memorable and as you described, artistically presented and generous. Next time, I think I will head down to the R-C at Lake Las Vegas for my lox and bagel.

  4. art vandelay says:

    I was in Vegas last weekend—the Mesa Grill (Bobby Flay restaurant) at Caesar’s was 2 die 4!

  5. art vandelay says:

    I was way too busy enjoying all of the debauchery of gambling, drinking, and partying at the Playboy Club. See why I need a Saviour?

  6. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Did I write “monies worth” instead of “money’s worth”? Yikes!! Another firing on two cylinders day…

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