Sarah Palin Would Be An Awesome Slutty Flight Attendant

Is there any doubt about this? When David Letterman suggested she was shopping for these slutty clothes, my Sarah somehow took it as an insult. Hardly! What Dave was saying is that very few women could rock that look the way that Sarah could. Man, just thinking about her in that outfit is making a little (but not too little) tent in my pants. 

He also mentioned that Sarah’s daughter got knocked up by Alex Rodriguez. What is the problem here? I wish my daughter would get knocked up by the 28 million dollars a year A-Rod. How is that worse than being knocked up by a broke, high school drop out? C’mon Sarah…get your head on right. There is a laundry list of guys you should hope knock her up next time and Levi ain’t on that list. 

And of course Dave wasn’t talking about the 14 year old daughter, Maple. She is not the one that has the reputation of being…how should I say this…not very selective. And I am in no way criticizing Bristol’s past behavior. I wish her mom would be a little less selective and dump old Todd. (As long as Todd took the baby, Biscuit). 

All I know is that it was awesome to see Sarah in the national spotlight again. Whether she is talking about creepy old men or looking at Russia from her kitchen window, it just makes the world a better place to be. 

And I will let you in on a little secret. Kate from Kate Plus 8 has a big announcement Monday. The announcement is twofold. First, she is dumping her husband and will be joining Sarah on the 2012 Republican ticket. A tape will be “leaked” of Kate and Sarah getting their freak on with each other just prior to the election day. The vote will be a landslide. 

Also, she will announce that she has, in fact, been knocked up by Alex Rodriguez. They are expecting to have doublets which should not be a problem due to Kate’s already massive vagina. No need to thank me for this top secret information.   

P.S. Here is a photo of Sarah signing a baseball. It read: 

Dear A-Rod – Please knock me up first. Xoxoxox Sarah

Rays Yankees Baseball

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26 Responses to Sarah Palin Would Be An Awesome Slutty Flight Attendant

  1. Whatever happened to the good old days, when women were proud to be slutty flight attendants?

    When American Airlines boasted round-the-clock service to major cities, all hosted by their trademark “Sky Sluts.”

    When your hostesses would bend over forwards and backwards for you, dodging groping hands and waving cigarettes to pour a generous helping of Scotch into your open mouth.

    When all anybody brought for carry-on was golf clubs, martini shakers, packs of pinup-adorned playing cards and a wallet full of $20’s and condoms.

    When the passengers were allowed to roam the aisles and freely copulate, racking up Mile-High club points and getting at least as drunk as the pilots.

    When having four stars on your cap meant you were the captain and five stars meant you were the pimp.

    When no one manned the emergency exit door or paid attention to the useless safety advice, because deep down inside they all knew this flying heap of metal was a 25,000-foot, 450 mph affront to God.

    This country is slipping fast, my friends. And while your rights have been eliminated in the once “friendly skies,” your liberties on the ground are still being violated, often multiple times, by the groping hands and probing appendages of the ridiculously-named Transportation Security Administration.

  2. Is Hooters air still going?

  3. yorksnbeans says:

    Until I read this most enlightening post, I had a totally different opinion of Ms. Palin and her escapades. Thank you, TL, for showing me the comical side of her ridiculousness!

  4. Who needs E! when we have Tannerleah. It’s like a poem I think.

  5. Sarah plus Kate = the return of the friendly skies.

  6. i went to the “fire dave” rally because he is a creepy old man. how dare he make fun of sarah palins daughter? he is clearly a sex offender and should register as such.

  7. Ram Venkatararam says:

    Tannerleah,

    Please. She’s an insipid hag.

    (And you may apply that comment to Sarah Palin, Kate Babymaker and A-Rod.)

  8. art vandelay says:

    You’re back! This is the TL I know and heart!

  9. […] in response to Tannerleah’s post about Sarah Palin, I flipped off a short poem (Ode to Sarah Palin) and then posted a fictitious response (I Got a […]

  10. sauer kraut says:

    good lord… now I need a cold shower.

    do you suppose the Wasilla church has any empty shower stalls in their basement? will they let me bring my laptop and pj’s?

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