David Carradine Strangled His Junk?

The latest report on the death of David Carradine suggests that he not only had a noose around his neck but also had one around his Johnson. It is unclear as to whether Dave or his junk suffocated first.

Can I just say this? Bravo, David!!! Really, 72 years old and still having fun with his ding-ding. That gives all of us old guys something to live for. I guess if your member is giving you trouble, you take it hostage and tie it up. Maybe in this frightened state, it pops up ready for duty. 

Granted, being found dead, naked with a rope around your neck and manhood is kind of unbecoming. But, what the hell. You are dead anyway so who gives a crap. Didn’t the guy from INXS die the same way? I think there may be an entire underground scene of chicken chokers out there that are in our midst. 

Hopefully, nursemyra can educate us on this particular fetish. (She knows all of the really cool stuff). Then, once I have exact instructions, I will need to find a big enough rope to make it work. (I will also need to find one for my neck). 

Do you remember the good old days when all you needed was a Playboy and firm handshake to satisfy your sexual needs? Ah…those were the days. I just can’t imagine finding my Dad or Grandpa in a closet, naked, sporting a chubby and all out of breath. Just doesn’t seem right. However, if they were doing it, I would still have to give them much respect. Someone has to live on the edge. 

Alice Cooper said he used to find gratification using jelly donuts. That seems like a much safer route to take. Of course, if he put his thingy into a donut and then took the other donuts, stuffed them in his mouth and suffocated on them, that would be a pretty cool way to go. (Personally, I would use Bavarian Crème). 

Now that my curiosity is piqued, if any of you have any other awesome ideas in this area, please feel free to share. At the very least, Ram could get some use out of them in prison. A man can’t live on tossed salad and teabags his whole life. Off to buy my super sized rope now.

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32 Responses to David Carradine Strangled His Junk?

  1. Davis says:

    I don’t care if you’re dead or not, it’s still embarrassing

  2. steven says:

    you spelled buy wrong

  3. vintagemexican says:

    i read it as “i’m off toby. my super sized rope now.” petition to bring toby back.

    and i was thoroughly entertained by this article. good work.

  4. Bart says:

    If I were 72 years old, that is exactly how I would like to go out. I’d even have a goat in the room so the world would never forget me.

  5. womaninblack says:

    I once had to report on a man who had used tights to secure an orange in his mouth before hanging himself with another pair of tights while watching madonna videos with his trousers off.
    The inquest verdict? Misadventure. Mis-timed adventure, more like. Forget the tights and the orange, it’s the Madonna part that is the biggest humiliation of all.

  6. elizabeth3hersh says:

    A clear case of hung-fu. As a young nursing student, I gave very detailed oriented baths (thoroughness is a manifestation of OCD) to my elderly male patients and was surprised to learn that they were quite capable of getting erections. At least he didn’t use a vacuum.

  7. Bart says:

    Happy endings are VERY therapeutic and restorative!

  8. The nurses here have restored my faith. Two nurses and I were discussing this today at work and one had never heard of this “special” activity. What shocked her even more was that the other two of us had!

  9. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Some quotes from the Kung-Fu TV series:

    Master Po: Grasshopper, what troubles you?
    Grasshopper: I am ashamed.
    Po: To feel shame for no cause is a waste. To feel shame for a cause is also a waste. For you must rather spend time correcting that for which you are ashamed.
    Grasshopper: Master. I woke last night, and seeing nothing, hearing nothing, yet I was afraid.
    Po: Of what?
    Grasshopper: Death.
    Po: He who knows how to live need not fear death. He can walk without fear of rhino or tiger. He will not be wounded in battle.
    Grasshopper: How can this be?
    Po: In him the rhino can find no place to thrust his horn. The tiger, no place to use his claws. And weapons, no place to pierce.
    Grasshopper: Why is this so?
    Po: Because a man who knows how to live, has no place for death to enter.

    Master Po: Learn first how to live. Learn second, how not to kill. Learn third, how to live with death. Learn forth, how to die.

    Grasshopper: Master, before I came here a boy in the marketplace whispered of the corridor of death. He said the place at the end holds the bones of many who entered.
    Po: But Grasshopper, what is it that I have told you?
    Grasshopper: That life is a corridor. And death, merely a door.
    Po: Do you believe me?
    Grasshopper: Yes master, but I am still afraid.
    Po: In time you will learn to fear only your fear itself.

    Master Po: “Grasshopper, be yourself and never fear thus to be naked to the eyes of others. Yet, know that man so often masks himself. That what is simple is rarely understood. The dust of truth swirls and seeks its own cracks of entry.”

    Grasshopper: Master, may we speak further on the forces of destiny?
    Po: Speak.
    Grasshopper: As we stand with two roads before us, how shall we know whether the left road or the right road will lead us to our destiny?
    Po: You spoke of chance, Grasshopper. As if such a thing were certain to exist. In the matter you speak of, destiny, there is no such thing as chance. For which ever way you choose, right or left, it must lead to an end. And that end is our destiny.

    RIP Grasshopper.

  10. Be careful what you do with that supersized rope. Carradine’s life has forever been reduced to the following conversation:

    “David Carradine was that Kung Fu guy. Did you hear how he died?”

    You don’t want to become: “Tannerleah was that crazy funny blogger. Did you hear how he died?”

    You want the answer to that to be, “From old age.” not “From strangling both necks at once.”

  11. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Here is a link to the death photo:

    http://www.postchronicle.com/news/original/article_212235885.shtml

    He is wearing a dark wig and fishnet stockings…not for the squeamish.

  12. nursemyra says:

    Can’t believe they would publish a photo of him hanging and also one of the his body after the autopsy. his family must be horrified – how sad

    • elizabeth3hersh says:

      Apparently, Mr. Carradine had a really creepy side to him (an admitted incestuous relationship with a close family member in addition to numerous reports of depravity). I can’t think of him as “Grasshopper” any more…not that he ever was Grasshopper.

  13. Lisa says:

    People are so fascinated by David Carradine’s death…there’s even a new book on that topic alone, called “David Carradine: The Eye of My Tornado”. I guess he’s become a legend in his death.

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