Husband Calls 911 After Wife Called “Fat”

In the never ending pursuit of ways to abuse the 911 emergency line, a Fort Worth, Texas husband called police to report that 2 men had called his wife fat. That’s it. Not that they beat her or were chasing her or stole her purse…just that they called her fat. 

Apparently, a couple of guys were handing out flyers to a gym in a residential neighborhood. It appears they tried to get the woman’s attention as she was walking her baby. After she ignored them, I think their feelings got hurt. At that point they started hurling comments such as, “you’re fat”, “you have a fat gut”, and (my personal favorite) “you eat too many donuts”. 

The wife, now upset, did not say anything in return but rather called her husband. That led to her husband calling 911. Maybe he thought the police would swoop in and take down these two nefarious characters. Obviously, he was under the impression that calling someone a name is a major crime in Texas and might even need to be met with lethal force. 

What is interesting to me is that no one, the woman or her husband, disputed the fact that the woman is fat. So, if she is fat, does the average person have the right to tell her so? Sure, it is rude and callous but that is not the same as illegal. The police decided that no charges could be pressed because the 2 guys had not actually done anything illegal. 

Also in Texas, a woman was asked to remove her “Yankees Suck” t-shirt, or cover it, while attending a Texas Rangers game. This leads me to the obvious question, “When did Texans become such big pussies?” 

When I lived in Texas, any woman you called fat would have simply turned around and punched you. Then her family would have come to your house and pounded the crap out of you. Problem solved. And a t-shirt that said “Yankees Suck”? It would not have registered one little bit. 

I am going to blame Dubya for the pussification of Texas. I am willing to listen to other possible reasons but, since he screwed up everything else, I am blaming him. Not to worry, I am sure that Barry will have Chicago all pussified in no time. Must have something to do with being the POTUS. 

Anyway, for the last time, 911 is not meant to be your personal complaint line. If your Starbucks is cold, or your wife is called fat, or the drive through is slow, DON’T CALL 911. This has been another public service message brought to you by TL. You are welcome.


23 Responses to Husband Calls 911 After Wife Called “Fat”

  1. Bart says:

    “When did Texans become such big pussies?”

    Apparently EVERYTHING is BIG in Texas. Including the women and the pussies.

  2. sweatsmodel says:

    LOL! No way can I top that one, Bart. You rule!

  3. I’ll not sit idly by while women gain weight and besmirch the reputation of the proud Yankees franchise. If I can just figure out how to work this E911 thing…

  4. So, you’re saying if my wife leaves the seat down, I can’t call 911.

  5. betty says:

    What if your husband calls you fat? Can I call the police then? Or what if I call my husband fat? He’s not, he just has man tits. That’s not really the makings of a fat man is it?

  6. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Umbrage is taken at being called fat, but no ownership if one IS fat. Like unintentional flatulence passed in public, we are not supposed to notice. But, we do notice and we all pay a pretty penny for our excessive indulgences and everyone else’s indulgences. Bubba should pony up and get his wife the membership (at a different gym of course).

    • elizabeth3hersh says:

      Did I mention that my oldest daughter received the “chubby chaser” award during her (forensics) mock awards ceremony? Apparently, chubby guys rank up there with dudes who sport “calculus bodies”. How ecumenical.

  7. art vandelay says:

    I could weigh 300 pounds and my husband would still tell me I’m skinny as a rail…THAT is why I love him

  8. Ram Venkatararam says:

    Call 9-1-1? Punch? I thought Texans shot you stepped on their lawns uninvited or failed to indicate before making a left hand turn.

    Sad state of affairs. Still, glad to see they can still come up with razor sharp insults like “you eat too many donuts.”

    That stings.

  9. It’s posts like these that make me embarrassed to live in Texas. But Austin isn’t really Texas, is it?

    And who says the man who called the cops was from Texas? Maybe he was a transplant. Right? Please?

    However,I completely support your right to blame anything on Dubya. Anything at all.

  10. art vandelay says:

    I think it’s about time we start blaming Obama, the Bush thing is tired

  11. nursemyra says:

    Maybe they wanted that woman to remove her t-shirt just so they could see if her tits were fat…..

  12. “pussification of Texas”
    Never thought I’d see that happen. It’s a sad sad state. What is this world coming to?

  13. G says:


    People are just too wimpy today. Not only in Texas, where you really can’t blame GWB for it. I mean, if the people who followed him couldn’t man up to save their lives, then the only people you have to blame is the people currently in residence, not someone who is ten years removed from the state.

    • tannerleah says:

      G – You are correct but since everyone, except Art, is against Dubya, I still feel compelled to drive the bus over him every now and then. Not to worry…Barry will also have plenty of tire tracks on his back before it is all said and done.

      • elizabeth3hersh says:

        Count me in with Art. I never thought Dubya was presidential material, but only because of his poor speaking skills and lack of presidential carriage, not ideology, policy, etc. Surprisingly, I also like some of the left-leaning policies of Barry. Sort of like calling cadence, “left right, left right…”…it takes both legs to move forward.

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