Did You Get Your $1 Flip Flops?

You know, the ones that were on sale at Old Navy. I am assuming everyone got a pair because I have never seen such ridiculous lines in my life. It was like an out of control amusement park. Now, before you think I was out flip flop shopping, let me explain. 

My family and I went out for a brief shopping excursion. My main reason for going was to have a nice lunch with just the 4 of us. My wife and daughter mentioned that they wanted to go to Old Navy to get in on this $1 flip flop deal. 

Now, I don’t know what flip flops normally go for, but if you are paying more than a dollar, already you are getting screwed. Besides, who the hell wears these things except little kids and rather rotund men and women that are also sporting spandex? 

In any case, we walk over to Old Navy. I decided to go in to absorb some free air conditioning. From the moment I walked through the door, it was clear that something was horribly, horribly wrong. There was a line of people that snaked endlessly throughout the store. This was the checkout line. Are you kidding me? 

Immediately, I turned around and headed straight out of the store. I felt that there was a 50/50 shot that my wife would show similar good sense and quickly follow my lead. A minute later, out she came. She had done the quick math and figured that waiting an hour in line to buy $1 flip flops was a losing scenario. 

Still, that did not explain the ridiculous number of other folks. How broke do you have to be to wait in line for such a pitiful payoff? I could see if they were selling porn, crack pipes, meatloaf, or some other valuable item. But flat pieces of rubber? Un – freakin’ – believable. 

What I need is for one of you honest people that stood in line to buy these things to explain yourself. What in the hell were you thinking and how much free time must you have to carve out an hour for flip flop shopping? Did you just have to have the pretty blue ones or, more likely, are you simply a shopaholic that has no self control. (Art, I am guessing you or Liz are going to be offenders). 

To my lovely wife and daughter, thank you for proving to me that you have the common sense that I suspected you had and bailing on such a silly scheme. Splurge on me and go buy some of the high end $5 flip flops*. (Limited to one per family member. May not be substituted for another item).

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19 Responses to Did You Get Your $1 Flip Flops?

  1. art vandelay says:

    Would NEVER wait in a line like that..in fact, I’ve been known to leave a cart full of stuff at a store because of a long line. (Rude I know and not especially proud of) I have very little patience to begin with and the Old Navy crowd really tries me. I have bought flip-flops there in the past (sans the line) for my 12 year old daughter…she can go through at least 20 pair a summer.

  2. Davis says:

    surprised how much press that sale has gotten

  3. yorksnbeans says:

    never heard about the sale. absolutely love flip-flops (in fact they were on a poll of mine a couple of weeks ago and several others share my love), but no matter what, I would NEVER stand in that kind of a line for them!

  4. elizabeth3hersh says:

    TL, you know I don’t shop at Old Navy. However, I have endured a line or two for the free panty offer at Victoria’s Secret. As to flip-flops, I purchased two cases from eBay three years ago and my daughters are still working on them. That is the beauty of eBay: shop from home, no parking hassles, no LINES to the cashier and frankly, people walk too s-l-o-o-o-w for me when I do venture out in public…I’m always having to dodge them.

    …and what is the point of paying retail (I know, I am not “helping” the economy)? When I do go “shopping” I head for the finer stores/boutiques, find what I want and then go home and buy it on eBay where it is a third of the price. If you are patient (and I am exceedingly patient when it comes to shopping) it will eventually show up.

    If only I could live to see the unveiling of a household item called the personal fabricator. The personal fabricator will be a desktop device that makes anything you can imagine using molecular nanotechnology. They have a department at M.I.T called the Center for Bits and Atoms, taught by Neil Gershenfeld, where they are pioneering this technology. Just think, anything you could want could be fabricated right on your desktop. This is as close to Heaven as you could get TL.

  5. Flip Flops….in my day we called them Thongs but then something else took over that term

  6. Era says:

    Yeah, that’s a promotional event I decided to sit out.

    • HOLY HELL, BATMAN! Did you see all those photos??

      So all I have to do is wear some shoes into the ground and then model them in a bunch of pics and be okay with some weirdo getting his jollies with them and I can make a hundred bucks?

      I’m all over it.

      • elizabeth3hersh says:

        Think how much you’ll get if you stuff them first with your used underwear!! Some enterprising young lady is going to earn a boatload of shekels. This sure as hell beats the world’s oldest profession and the hours are better.

  7. art vandelay says:

    OMGOSH Liz those are HILARIOUS!

  8. Ever since those kids (you know the ones I mean) stopped eating stuff like batteries and mulch for a $1, there’s hardly any reason to stand in line anymore.

    They seemed to be otherwise healthy. Just a little too enthusiastic. I think they probably grew up to be reality show contestants.

    Probably not strippers, though, despite the allure of humiliating yourself for a dollar. I don’t remember very many of them being attractive.

    And most of them were male, and let’s face it, the world probably has all the male strippers it needs, plus some in the Strategic Stripper Reserve, in case of a draft or massive police recruitment drive or horrendous construction accident or something.

    • I love men. Really I do. But the idea of watching one dancing naked is so distasteful. Who invented male stripping and what were they thinking? Women are just more beautiful naked creatures than men.

      I actually have no idea what you were talking about there, CLT, but I’m taking a stand on the issue anyway.

  9. Ram Venkatararam says:

    $5 Flip flops?

    What the Hell, TL, are you some kind of wealthy industrialist? Money to burn? This kind of crazy extravagence needs to stop NOW!

    Better watch your step. It’s a short ride from $5 flip flops to $3000 capri pants and a diamond encrusted pinky ring.

    Get back in line. It’s good for your soul.

    • elizabeth3hersh says:

      Interestingly, there is such an animal. They are selling $18,000 diamond encrusted jeans at the Wynn Las Vegas with amored truck home delivery. Ahhhh, the good life.

  10. I hate shopping. I buy almost everything over the internet except food, which I buy locally (and locally produced, if possible). If I could never have to shop anywhere ever again I would be a happier person.

  11. nursemyra says:

    oh man, we’ve got truckloads of used shoes at the gimcrack. I’m gonna make a killing on ebay now. Thanks for the tip Elizabeth

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