Did You Get Your $1 Flip Flops?

May 26, 2009

You know, the ones that were on sale at Old Navy. I am assuming everyone got a pair because I have never seen such ridiculous lines in my life. It was like an out of control amusement park. Now, before you think I was out flip flop shopping, let me explain. 

My family and I went out for a brief shopping excursion. My main reason for going was to have a nice lunch with just the 4 of us. My wife and daughter mentioned that they wanted to go to Old Navy to get in on this $1 flip flop deal. 

Now, I don’t know what flip flops normally go for, but if you are paying more than a dollar, already you are getting screwed. Besides, who the hell wears these things except little kids and rather rotund men and women that are also sporting spandex? 

In any case, we walk over to Old Navy. I decided to go in to absorb some free air conditioning. From the moment I walked through the door, it was clear that something was horribly, horribly wrong. There was a line of people that snaked endlessly throughout the store. This was the checkout line. Are you kidding me? 

Immediately, I turned around and headed straight out of the store. I felt that there was a 50/50 shot that my wife would show similar good sense and quickly follow my lead. A minute later, out she came. She had done the quick math and figured that waiting an hour in line to buy $1 flip flops was a losing scenario. 

Still, that did not explain the ridiculous number of other folks. How broke do you have to be to wait in line for such a pitiful payoff? I could see if they were selling porn, crack pipes, meatloaf, or some other valuable item. But flat pieces of rubber? Un – freakin’ – believable. 

What I need is for one of you honest people that stood in line to buy these things to explain yourself. What in the hell were you thinking and how much free time must you have to carve out an hour for flip flop shopping? Did you just have to have the pretty blue ones or, more likely, are you simply a shopaholic that has no self control. (Art, I am guessing you or Liz are going to be offenders). 

To my lovely wife and daughter, thank you for proving to me that you have the common sense that I suspected you had and bailing on such a silly scheme. Splurge on me and go buy some of the high end $5 flip flops*. (Limited to one per family member. May not be substituted for another item).