Nancy Pelosi To Have Tom Brady’s Baby

Or something like that. I was asked to write about Pelosi and Brady so that’s all I could come up with. After all, what else can be said about these two?

Pelosi is a wealthy, power mongering whore that lies and misleads just like every other veteran politician. By and large, that is exactly how they become veteran politicians. Did she rat out the CIA or know about torture but failed to act? Who cares? If she didn’t do it (or know about it) replace her name with any other dirty politician. It’s all part of the game. Stop having any kind of positive hopes about politicians…even Barry. The money is all that matters. Always has, always will.

As for Brady, of course he got Gisele pregnant. By just gazing into a woman’s eyes, he can get her pregnant. When you ladies see Tom, don’t you wonder what that “popping” sound is? That’s a zillion eggs dropping saying, “Fu** me Tom. Fu** me hard all night long”. (As you may have noticed, your eggs can be somewhat crude and impolite). I would expect he will give Gisele a nifty litter of children.

And, while I am thinking of it, how many people would be naming their kid “Gisele” if it wasn’t for her smoking hot looks? After all, Gisele is just another way to spell gazelle and you wouldn’t name your kid Anteater or Antelope. Beautiful people get away with murder. I bet even her farts smell like fresh made cinnamon rolls. And you know that the BradyBundch baby is going to incredibly attractive. Not all ugly and misshapen like most babies.

I hope I have covered both the Pelosi and Brady issues to your satisfaction. The usual question is, at this point, “TL, would you hit that?” As for Pelosi, no. They way she walks around with a permanent look of shock on her face might make me feel inadequate. As for Tom, I would go gay for him in a minute. I would still be the pitcher, because I have standards, but yeah, we would be making sweet man love.

Before I go, a quick thank you and an I love you to our men and women of the Armed Forces. These are awesome people and should never be taken for granted or ignored. Every day we should be remembering them and taking care of them in any way we can. Much love to my peeps, TL.


25 Responses to Nancy Pelosi To Have Tom Brady’s Baby

  1. Sweats Model says:

    I hope you didn’t mean to offend the whores, TL. They come by their money the hard way. Oh, and I’m visualizing the TL/Brady encounter. Should I be thinking slow pitch? Or fast?

  2. yorksnbeans says:

    yep, he’s one hot dude, but what’s with the peewee herman tat? that’s certainly a turn off.

  3. I’m going to expose myself as the weirdo that I am and tell you I had no idea who Tom Brady was, so I looked him up. And whoa. Yeah, okay. Wow. Um…where was I?

    Oh yeah, that Peewee tat. I think tats are incredibly sexy, and I think Peewee Herman was genius, but I would not want that thing staring at me while engaged in activity. I might bust out laughing and make Mr. Brady feel inadequate, and he’d be all, “I’m sorry.” And I’d be all, “No, don’t worry about it, it happens to everybody. Except, I’ve never seen it before, but really, it’s fine. And next time go for tribal art.”

    • yorksnbeans says:

      OMG…that’s TOO funny! I did the exact same thing. I had heard of him but didn’t know he was so hot, so I looked him up, too! I just didn’t want to admit it. I’m such a dufus!

  4. I meant to also say thank you for your kind wishes to our service members. I’m married to one of them, and it is so hard. I really appreciate it when someone is grateful for them.

    Whew! Now let’s get back to comedy, shall we?

  5. I hate the Patriots and Tom Brady, so I would not hit that. Ditto on the shout out to our men and women in uniform…I was in the National Guard in the early 80’s, so I have a soft spot for them.

  6. nursemyra says:

    My farts smell like cinnamon rolls. Slightly stale ones, but cinnamon nonetheless…..

  7. Nate Fakes says:

    I’d say his farts probably smell of fresh baked Cina-buns.

  8. elizabeth3hersh says:

    I, too, had to look up Tom Brady. Hmmm, definitely not my type. Not cerebral enough looking. My daughter seems to have my taste in men too as she prefers what she calls a “calculus body”.

    Yes, a greeting of gratitude or a handshake is in order to the fine men and women serving our Armed Forces. We really let down our servicemen who valiantly served in ‘Nam…a lesson I will never forget.

  9. art vandelay says:

    The baby will either be absolutely gorgeous–(move over Shiloh Jolie-Pitt) or absolutely hidious, that’s usually how it works. I’d personally do Peyton Manning (or Eli) over Brady any day.

    • elizabeth3hersh says:

      I had to look up Peyton Manning as well…what is the attraction with these freshly scrubbed men? I’m definitely going with earthy and hirsute.

      • elizabeth3hersh says:

        In Las Vegas, we have a coed waxing boutique called “The Box Waxing Boutique”. These slick looking fellows are probably the types to get the “sac and crack wax” at said establishment. Ouch.

        • That is so gross. I don’t understand wanting a man to be bare; it’s unnatural. I thought Brady looked rough and “earthy” enough.

          Maybe I wasn’t looking at the right photos.

          • elizabeth3hersh says:

            Nice photo. Maybe I just find him too “clean” and GQ-ish. Girls like a little raunch too (but in a cerebral sort of way).

          • elizabeth3hersh says:

            Check out this hottie with a PhD…drumroll please as I present quantum physicist Basil Singer:

            (I’ve posted this photo before, but it’s worth a second look).

          • Yum. PhD, for real? My heart doth go pitter pat! A science PhD, no less! So much the better. We could talk quarks all night long. And is that a skull on the shirt under the North Face? I think I’m in love.

          • elizabeth3hersh says:

            I was pleasantly amused when you mentioned quarks. For the uninitiated, quarks are subatomic particles that come in six types: up, down, top, bottom, strange and charm (I’ll allow the reader to let their imagination run wild). Dr. Singer will have you seeing stars while reenacting the Big Bang. If he was only a few decades older…

  10. art vandelay says:


  11. G says:


    Found your blog through what seems to be the bizarre blog clique of the year (Sick days, Barely knit Together, Fundamental Jelly and Bearman Cartoons).

    And yes, that is a good thing. Always on the lookout for good rant blogs.

  12. Nanette says:

    Tom is so delicious ~ I can’t believe he would put a Pee Wee tat on his arm! He’s got to get it lasered off ~ it’s ruining his perfection

    • tannerleah says:

      Welcome Nanette. Good news, Tom does not have a Pee Wee tat. This is just an urban legend no doubt started by a Jets fan. I have seen Tom nude and I can verify this. I can also verify he has a small penis but that doesn’t seem to be impacting his career or love life.

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