Obese Woman Hauled Off On Flat Bed Truck

May 21, 2009

Sure, she weighed 750 pounds and was dead when they hauled her, but still, a flat bed? Teresa Smith, 48, passed away in her rather large bed. The coroner in Marion County (Indianapolis) decided on a humane and respectful way to dispose of the body.

He had a bunch of guys drag her mattress, with her still on it, across the lawn to a flat bed truck. Once loaded, they covered the body with a piece of carpet. How is that for a brilliant plan? I am surprised they didn’t just use a back hoe but maybe one wasn’t available.

This happened in front of Teresa’s 13 year old son, boyfriend, and other neighborhood folk. “I think they should have handled it differently, putting her on a flatbed like they did. That was like putting a cow up there,” said Smith’s boyfriend, David Johnson. (Dave, a little hint…using the word “cow” was probably a poor choice of words).

A former coroner disputed the fact that there was no better way to move the body. He insists that rotund people are not uncommon and that most major counties have the appropriate equipment and vehicles to handle it. I guess Indianapolis just isn’t a big enough city.

I wonder what the weight limit is for one to earn the right to be hauled away in a “normal” vehicle. 300 lbs? 400lbs? Fat people are always getting screwed over like this. They have to buy 2 seats in an airplane, they have to sit on tiny toilets (tiny for their ample asses, that is), they have to wear spandex even if it chafes, they can’t do it doggy style because it is physically impossible…just a plethora of disadvantages. Depressing.

One neighbor offered an excellent idea about how to move a large body the next time. Order a “moo-ving” van. While the comment might be seen as slightly insensitive, it is not without merit.

I do have a serious question, however. When Teresa gets to heaven, will she still be 750 pounds? Will Jesus have to give her a separate cloud or have specially made “super sized” wings prepared? I am still confused on whether the body goes to the hereafter or not. If so, you should at least have an option to trade in your body for a better model. Heaven is closer to the sun so it has to be hot up there. Us fat people do not do well in the heat.