The Elizabeth Edwards “Bus Driving” Tour Continues

May 10, 2009

Elizabeth, we get it. John cheated on you…and not even with a particularly attractive woman…much like yourself. So how many more times do you have to tell this story and drive the bus over your husband? How many metaphoric deaths does he have to endure? And how many more copies of your book will telling this story sell anyway?

By the way, as the standard bearer of such issues, you don’t see Hillary out there shilling her book by talking about Bill’s little excursion(s) (Again, with not very attractive women). She understands what politicians are made of and dealt with it internally. And don’t kid yourself…this could have been much, much worse. You can be grateful you didn’t find out that John was getting his freak on with Larry King or some other guy as many politicians do.

I empathize with what you have been through in losing a child and battling your illness. You have a lot to talk about and it might even be beneficial for others to hear you tell your story. But the fact is, you are still married and constantly bashing your husband just seems jaded and tawdry to me. If you want to get even, go sleep with some guy. I will do you if it will get you to stop talking for five minutes. (Or more like one minute). Of course a large fee will need to be paid. By you…not me.

So please…no more Oprah sob stories. (And by the way, don’t think for a second that Oprah hasn’t cheated on her mate, Gayle. Celebrities and politicians are cut from the same cloth). If you insist on disparaging your husband, then get rid of him. You can’t have it both ways and be a victim but then stand by your man. Like Hillary, the best thing to do is to just kick your husband’s ass in private. Put a serious whippin’ on him. That will stop his behavior…temporarily.

If I were you, I would have an affair with the Kate Plus 8 husband. That would cause all kinds of interesting twists to an otherwise boring story. And somehow have Gary Coleman be involved… and chocolate, handcuffs and 2 ponies. That would make it even better. Just, for the love of God, stop the whining about your husband. Thank you.

Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day everyone!