Earth Day? Really?

Well, there’s the kiss of death. Anytime anyone or anything gets a day named after it, it means we have no intention whatsoever of taking it seriously. It’s just another lazy way for mankind to compartmentalize something and feel better about ourselves. 

Hey you moms out there…here is your own special day. Congrats. (The bad news is that we are pretty much going to crap on you for the rest of the year). Same for you dads, secretaries, Jesus, Satan, dead presidents, America, etc. The list is pretty much endless. One “special” day to commemorate something and then forget all about it. 

Did you know that Earth Day began in 1970? And here you have been ignoring it all of these years. Shame on you. Now that you know such a day exists, go outside and kiss some dirt or plant a tree. That should be enough of a penance to hold you over for the next year. 

I wonder if they have Earth Day in less guilt ridden societies? Do you think dirt poor villages in Africa will be doing anything special today? Something tells me they won’t feel quite as compelled to hug a tree or walk to work. No, just the fat dumb happy countries that are riddled with guilt will “celebrate” because we use the earth as our daily toilet bowl. 

And, by the way, why shouldn’t we? Our planet has an amazing ability to shrug off our valiant efforts to destroy it. In fact, just to get even, Mother Nature will stir up a hurricane or tornado every now and then to put us in our place. (Striking golfers with lightening is my favorite Mother Nature practical joke). 

Let’s be honest. We are all for taking care of the earth if it fits within our day to day plans. Don’t drive to cut air pollution? Not gonna happen. Turn down the heat to save fossil fuels? I don’t think so. Stop making so much “stuff” and using up the planets natural resources? Please…don’t make me laugh. Put an “Earth Day” decal on my car to show I care? Absolutely!!! (As long as it is removable). 

We are the most hypocritical society in the history of mankind and I am proud to be part of it. I love being able to say a prayer, or plant a tree, and absolve myself of any sins against my fellow man or Mother Earth. It is an awesome deal.


20 Responses to Earth Day? Really?

  1. Ed Begley and Darryl Hannah are the only green celebs that aren’t hypocrites.

  2. Kali says:

    “I wonder if they have Earth Day in less guilt ridden societies?”

    So true. And, oddly, no one suffers from crippling illnesses like being a shopaholic or a chocoholic, for that matter.

  3. art vandelay says:

    I especially enjoy driving my gas-guzzling SUV today!

  4. pinnythewu says:

    Over here, all of our MacDonalds restaurants turned their outside lights off for an hour for Earth Hour. How’s that for hypocrisy?

  5. art vandelay says:

    Are you kidding me about the McDonalds??? Where do you live???

  6. art vandelay says:

    It’s sad to me that we celebrate Earth Day and yet Holocaust Remembrance Day was yesterday and it went unrecognized. No wonder everyone hates us (americans) so much

  7. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Sometimes, a dedicated “day” will afford the opportunity to explore something you may otherwise be oblivious to. For me, a spark was ignited while watching the documentary “Suzuki Speaks” on, what else, Earth Day. Here is a link to the intro of this FASCINATING documentary:

  8. pinnythewu says:

    We’re in New Zealand, art, our clean, green image is swimming in irony.

  9. nursemyra says:

    we just mixed some earth in with the mashed potatoes at the gimcrack. gave them a bit more body that usual

  10. elizabeth3hersh says:

    I saw this editorial cartoon in the Las Vegas Sun yesterday. It pretty much sums up your post.

  11. art vandelay says:

    I’ll believe in Global Warming when it’s not 40 degrees in April.

  12. art vandelay says:


  13. Pamela says:

    perfectly said!

  14. art vandelay says:

    okay I went to the grocery store today and as I’m lugging the 40 plastic bags into my car (several of them with just 1 or 2 items in them) I flashbacked to Earth Day. All these plastic bags are utterly ridiculous and they annoy the hell out of me.

  15. art vandelay says:

    I always give my assistant the day off on Sundays, it’s the day of rest you know.

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