Man Buried With Cell Phone Makes Call

You see? This is exactly why I don’t want to be cremated. You never quite know when you will be that one person who wasn’t really dead that gets put into the ground. Here’s what happened.

William “Billy” Hensley from Bedford, IN died last September and, for whatever reason, was buried with his cell phone by his side. My guess is that they wanted him to be able to call form the “other side”. Or, he had an exceptionally annoying ring tone that they never wanted to hear again. Whatever the reason, into the ground it went.

Since his burial, it has been discovered that Billy’s phone is being used. He’s alive! My guess is that he woke up in the casket, busted it open, and clawed his way out of the ground. He was probably so pissed that they buried him alive that he just took off…with his trusty phone in his hand.

However, there is an alternative version to this story according to police. They are suggested that someone stole the phone out of Billy’s casket. Now I ask you, what kind of low down, no good, trailer park, leg humping, low life would steal a phone from a dead guy? I mean, I don’t even think it was a Blackberry. I refuse to believe it. Sheriff Sam Craig said it is not uncommon for disputes to arise between family members of the deceased. But to steal a cell phone? That is just weak.

No, I am confident that this is a case of Billy either coming back as a zombie and trying to stay on the down low or he never was dead in the first place. If he is a zombie, then I really can’t help. I don’t know where to get brains and, even if I did, I am not sure I wouldn’t eat them for my own benefit. If he is not a zombie, he should place prank calls to his family. It would be kind of mean but really, really, funny.

If someone really did steal the phone, I hope they feel it was worth it. Carrying around a dead dudes phone is just creepy. Plus, everyone knows that the dead can come back through electromagnetic fields. That means that the person with the phone could get possessed…kind of like all of the Twilight people.

When I die, please make sure I have a phone in my casket. And for the love of Pete, get me a good service provider. I don’t want to wake up six feet under with no bars.

Can you hear me now?   (Thanks SD).


12 Responses to Man Buried With Cell Phone Makes Call

  1. Is it weird that my claustraphobia makes me dread being buried in a coffin? Yes I know…I am dead (or maybe I am not)

  2. Sweats Model says:

    Same here, bearman. As for the funeral home “viewing” ritual…for chrissakes, how creepy is that? Why not just dress the dead up in their Sunday best, smear some lipstick and pancake makeup on em and prop them up in a chair on the front porch? I’m leaving strict instructions for my loved ones to call my casketphone. If, after several attempts, I do not answer, please incinerate me.

  3. That’s fine, but who pays for all the roaming charges???

  4. womaninblack says:

    I can barely get service in my kitchen, let alone six feet under. Here in the UK, everyone starts hyperventilating if phone companies want to put up masts (apart from churches – they love the extra inches on the spire). Ergo service is shocking.
    I shall forward this story to my phone company and demand network coverage which at the very least is as comprehensive as that enjoyed in the netherworld.

  5. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Why hasn’t someone called Billy to have him send back photos of the other side (whichever side that is)…assuming he has a camera phone. Better yet, send me Billy’s number and I personally will get to the bottom of this.

  6. sd says:

    My two cents – the phone was never buried…if it was the battery would be dead, right along with Billy.

  7. as ive stated previously i always have my stakes and a double barrel shot gun in preparation that the dead decided to walk among us…at least he has a phone to call and let me know he’s stopping by to eat my brains..that would be considerate…

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