Man’s Legs Cut To Fit In Casket

Or so says a former employee of Cave Funeral Home (located in somewhere South Carolina). The allegation is that the “customer” was too tall to fit into the casket so they had to saw his legs to make him fit. They have since exhumed the body and it seems there may be some truth to this. 

Here is my question. Why saw the legs in the first place? Clearly, the correct option would have been to “hobble” the guy like we saw in the movie “Misery”. You just break his legs and fold them over. Voila! Problem solved. 

Instead, it seems they cut the guys legs and then pushed them up so he would fit. I guess since the casket was already sold they were kind of obligated to make the dude fit into it. Really, the wife probably should bear some responsibility for not verifying the casket was the right size. Her husband was 6’5″, so she should have known it was going to be a tight fit. Here is a pic of the multi parted deceased:

tall-dude

(Doesn’t he look waaay taller than 6’5″? That guy looks like the albino Andre the Giant. Or, maybe, she is just a midget). 

The other thing is, why the uproar? The guy is dead…how is cutting his legs hurting anything. If he was “sort of dead”, then I could understand the complaint. But he was stone, cold dead so I think they were just trying to be practical. I hope, for instance, when I die they scoop some of my guts out so my stomach looks smaller. I want to look good when I die. I expect the mortician to hook me up. 

Someone called it “desecration” of the body. Puh-leeze. Putting the wood to a dead person is desecrating them, not trimming their legs like branches on a tree. The two acts are not even in the same ballpark. Plus, everyone knows that they hook you up by meat hangers when you die. How come that is not desecration of the body? 

The question now is should they dig up all of the tall people that this place buried? And if you do, what is the point of the exercise? It is just going to upset people and they are going to have to lay out several thousand dollars to buy a bigger coffin once the legs are sewn back together. (Unless bones shrink when you die…then you might fit).

I say leave it alone. Once you have passed, you are fair game. If you don’t like it, don’t die. It’s your decision.

Advertisements

26 Responses to Man’s Legs Cut To Fit In Casket

  1. O.G. says:

    completely agreed. What they needed to do was seperate at the ligament – that way after the decomposition nobody could tell. Soft Tissue, that’s where it’s at.

  2. Jesus Ramirez Jr. says:

    Why not saw the legs off???

    But if you’re gonna do it, make a proper show of it. This sounds like a missed opportunity to me.

    What you have here is the basis for a really good funeral/magic show combo (a nice twist on the “saw a woman in half” standard but without the need to actually hire an illusionist).

    I’d go to way more funerals if they were cutting the corpses in half and then putting them back together. It’s entertaining and apparently helps bring about proper “closure”.

    Gotta Run, TL. Good to see you back.

    • Jesus…why are you still wearing a vest with the name Ram on it?

    • tannerleah says:

      Is that really you Jesus? I didn’t know you were Mexican. Anyway, we must get together cause you got some splainin to do about killing babies and such. Give me a call when you aren’t blowing things up or something.

      And I like your thinking on “magic funerals”.

  3. Kali says:

    Wait — and why didn’t she opt to throw his carcass into the woods to be devoured by animals again? Am I missing something?

  4. womaninblack says:

    Non-famous man makes headlines after death simply by having his legs cut off. I’m saying it right now, you MAKE SURE I HAVE MY LEGS CUT OFF WHEN I DIE. Afterwards, preferably,but if you think it’ll get more column inches, I’ll have an epidural and get it done beforehand. Which means before I die, not before you cut off my hands.
    Big up in the house, JJR.
    Thanks for coming back this instant, TL.

    • tannerleah says:

      It’s already been done. We will need to think of a new way to make you famous through death. (Light yourself on fire and run through a sports stadium?)

  5. squirrel says:

    It’s my decision? Last time I checked not everyone wants to die when they do. Nor do they ask to. There might be rare instances, but for majority I think not. Also you may find it to be not a big deal, but I have a feeling if your spouse’s legs were cut off after she passed you might somewhat care. I know I would care. Especially if I was not asked if this was okay, just because someone is dead doesn’t give you or anyone the right to be disrespectful, and this is clearly the case for this funeral home. I don’t think digging up every tall person is necessary though. I just don’t understand people sometimes, not even with my detailed history in psychology.

  6. Since this happened in South Carolina, I am surprized the funeral home didn’t cut off his head to make room in the casket.

  7. chelsypillsbury says:

    This is the most entertaining blog I’ve stumbled across in a long, long time. Please, keep up the good work for every sarcastic, critical persons sake:)

  8. you should totally read the book STIFF by Mary Roach..seriously her last name is Roach..anyhow the book is about what they do to your body once you are dead when you donate your body to like science, when you donate your organs, etc…its really interesting..and has made me decide that i’d like to be cremated because i don’t care if im dead i don’t want plastic surgeons inserting collagen in my lifeless lips.. or my body thrown in a body field to chart degradation..no thanks. now im 4’11 so i don’t have to worry about anyone sawing my legs to make sure i fit in a casket…lucky me..

  9. elizabeth3hersh says:

    I see a business opportunity here as the coffin industry is looking entirely too stale: rather than buy new coffins after the bodies have been exhumed and the legs sewn back on, there should be an option for coffin extenders (aptly named Extend-a-Coffin). Bilateral holes would be bored through the end of the caskets and cylindrical extenders would be attached. This should be standard on all caskets along with comparable extenders for the arms. An extender for the head would round out the package (especially useful if you have an oversized “Rush Limbaugh” sort of head). The entire thing could be painted like a Matryoshka doll. It would make pall bearing effortless as there would be an extremity to grasp onto to. If that doesn’t appeal to you, there is always the Goliath brand of caskets in the Harvest, Heartland and Homestead models (..like trailers, they come in 52″ double wide).

  10. Sweats Model says:

    I’m much too vain to trust a stranger to dress me and apply postmortum makeup. And who knows what hideous hairdo they’ll stick me with? The fear of being made up like a clown (no offense, Fundamental Jelly), and claustrophic tendences steered me towards cremation. Load me into a crop duster please, and fly over the nearest peanut factory. Merci.

  11. nursemyra says:

    Cremation is the way to go!

    • tannerleah says:

      Sweats Model and nursemyra – What is the fascination with being cremated? How can anything that they do to your DEAD body be worse than being fried to a crisp? Don’t you read Stephen King books? You just know they are going to pronounce you dead but you won’t be. Then they will inch you towards the fire as you scream to no one, “NO!!!” And then you are going to burn and it is really, really going to hurt. How is that worse than being banged by a creepy old dude?

  12. George says:

    I refuse to die! They’re not cutting off my third leg just to fit it inside the casket. I’m gonna get it a sidecar coffin or something.

    • tannerleah says:

      I hear you George. Those of us with big packages are always being discriminated against. I am going to have them drill a whole in my coffin and then they can hang flowers on the “pole”.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: