Resurrection Can Be Used As A Get Out Of Jail Card?

(Yes, I am aware of the bar stool driving dude but I am over drunk douchebags for the moment).

In what can only be described as ridiculous, Baltimore prosecutors offered to waive charges against a woman accused of starving her baby IF the baby is resurrected. Are you kidding me? The judge in the case even went along with this sham. 

Where was this rule when Jesus was crucified? How come the Jews aren’t off the hook for that murder? I mean, it’s not like he is still dead and there obviously is no body. If only the Jews had gone to court in Baltimore. 

As usual, the guilty party, Ria Ramkissoon, was brainwashed as part of a cult so it really wasn’t her fault. This is another of those awesome cults that pop up from time to time. This one was named One Mind Ministries. It probably should have been called 4 Idiot Ministries since that’s how many members there were. Here is Ria and her poor, deceased baby.


Apparently, Ria’s one year old baby did not say “amen” after eating and developed a “rebellious spirit”. What the hell can a one year old possibly do to be rebellious? Roll over too often? Poop too much? Stare aimlessly into space for long periods of time?

No, this is yet another case of a nut job having a baby and then wanting to dispose of the child. This time, instead of an oven or microwave, Ria decided to just starve the baby. For my money, that makes the crime all that much more heinous. 

Is she crazy? No doubt. Was she part of the 4 person cult? Who gives a flying fu**? She needs to go to jail for forever plus an additional 20 years for dumb assed-ness. Granted, if they had pulled off the resurrection, I would be much more open to a lenient sentence. Sadly, Queen Antoinette (the cult leader) was just not able to pull it off. 

Cult or not, anyone associated with this murder needs to go to the big house for a long time. They can pray to whomever they would like and try to resurrect rats and roaches for practice. Better yet, let’s kill one of the four and let the other 3 see if they can bring them back. 

Please, no more cults, brainwashing, insanity, or other stupid pleas. And prosecutors; stop being so damned lazy in doing your job. She was stone cold guilty and there was absolutely no need for a plea deal or this silly “promise” to drop the charges if the kid “rose”. C’mon Baltimore…I know you suck as a city but act like you still care. 

Resurrect this


16 Responses to Resurrection Can Be Used As A Get Out Of Jail Card?

  1. O.G. says:

    What a messed up story do think if the baby is ressurected it will be placed back in her custody?

  2. Baltimore is the shit..thats where i can join my one person cult and make us a two person cult…

  3. I am surprised, Queen Antoinette is usually really good at resurrections. She resurrected Al Davis four times.

  4. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Please do the barstool story TL!! In the meantime, can’t the already resurrected One re-resurrect himself so He can come back and resurrect the rebellious baby? Or can Barry (also known as the “One”) do some resurrectin’? I still don’t get it though. If the righteous are all going to be resurrected on Judgment day, can you get re-resurrected if you have already been resurrected once? How does that work? Art? Oh Godspeed, I am so utterly confused.

  5. Ram Venkatararam says:

    Grim stuff TL. Turns my stomach

  6. Sweats Model says:

    So disturbing. I agree, and cannot for more than a few seconds try to imagine the cries of a child being starved to death by its own mother. Think about it, that poor child cried for a long time.

    Oh, and by the way, they stuffed the baby’s body in a suitcase with mothballs and fabric softner sheets. Apparently, upon resurrection, the 1 yr old would pull a Houdini.

  7. womaninblack says:

    Bloody wars – I was already terrified of Baltimore thanks to The Wire. Now it’s definitely off the Great American Road Trip I plan to take when I have saved up for some decent weaponry.

    (TL, I stopped myself adding an extra ‘a’ between ‘r’ and ‘y’ just for you. I acknowledge your Irritable Vowel Syndrome).

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