My Tattoo Problem

March 29, 2009

My daughter is old enough to have a tattoo these days and, like many young women, thinks she would like one. (Hopefully, something small and discreet. Not, “Party Starts Here Guys” like her mom has). To discourage her, I told her that I would also get a tattoo the same day she did. In essence, she now has the power to mark me for life. So far, I have not had to taint my pristine body canvas but I worry that the day is getting close.

To prepare for this, I have been scouring the Internet in hopes of finding something suitable for an old geezer like me. Dragons, “mom”, crosses, and battleships are out of the running. Here are a couple of the better ones I have seen.


Now, I will be honest. I am not sure I am brave enough to have my eyebrows shaved. The words are not the problem but no eyebrows? That’s just crazy. Another one I like allows me to grow naturally into a larger frame.


I don’t have quite that big of a belly button because I have not suffered an apparent shotgun blast to that area. Still, you have to admit it would be awfully sexy to be sporting that tat around town. The chicks would be all over me!

So, I need your help. I am drawing a complete blank on this task. I could have an arrow that pointed to the side and the phrase, “I did her mother”. Then I could just walk next to my daughter all day to get maximum efficacy out of it. Or, in the interest of making a political statement, I could get a tat of a Mexican living in my stomach with the words, “Hey, they have to live somewhere” underneath.

So many choices and so little time. Can you please help a brother out and give me some good ideas? I hate pain so the smaller the tat the better. Also, I need to know where to put it. (And although my thingy is still quite huge, I am not even considering that as an option). Maybe under a roll of fat like some of the hot girls at a bar I frequent do it. I am trying to stay away from the neck and forearms because I am currently employed and need to stay that way.

Thanks for the help. I am going to need it. TL