I haven’t seen any recent photos of Chuck so when I saw his new one, I was pleasantly surprised. I was worried that he may have become all fat and doughy looking or lost that awesome looking swastika in the middle of his forehead. But, as it turns out, my worries were unwarranted. Here is Charles in all of his 74 year old glory:
Didn’t I say he was still looking good? You would think that a lifetime of being back doored would take a lot out of a guy but apparently not. Sure, his beard needs a little trimming but it appears he does a wonderful job of keeping his nose hairs under control.
If you remember, the Beatles “White Album” was written specifically for Chuck and his followers. “Helter Skelter” was the plan where blacks would rise up against whites, destroy them, and then Charles and his gang would swoop in and control the black people. How is that for an awesome plan?
Of course, this never happened. When the blacks “rose up”, they rose up against themselves and burned Watts to the ground. Chuck probably should have showed a little more leadership at this point. He should have at least bought them a “map to the stars” so they would have burned down the right buildings.
He might have also chosen a different song to build his master plan on. For instance, “Back in the U.S.S.R.” would have been pretty cool. He could have bought a real nice house on the outskirts of Moscow and waited for the black Russians (for which the alcoholic drink was named) to overthrow the white Russian devils. Then, he would have had nukes and could have ruled the world.
“I’m So Tired” would have also been an excellent choice. This would have given him a great reason to just sleep on his couch while he sent his underlings out to do all of his dirty work. Hey, wait a minute. That is exactly what he did! That sneaky little bastard…he was actually right. They did write the album for him. Wow, I just cracked the case. I am feeling all CSI – like at the moment.
Anyway Charles, enjoy your B-day. Maybe you will get a special tea bag with your tossed salad tonight. One can only hope.