Making A Kid Eat Out Of A Garbage Can IS Illegal

Huh…who knew? Personally, I just call it good parenting. When your kid wastes good food, this is an excellent way to make a point. I have used this very technique with my own child (over 10 years ago so the statute of limitations had run its course) and it worked like a charm. 

Specifically, the little monster grabbed a perfectly good Bavarian Crème donut, took exactly one bite from it, and then threw it in the trash. Are you kidding? Outraged, I made the boy fetch it and eat it. My Oz, the thought of wasting a beautiful donut still sickens me to this day. 

So why am I bringing this up now? Because an excellent teacher named Anne O’Donnell, 67, of Fairfield CT, did just this. She saw a 5 year old throw out perfectly good chicken nuggets and a banana and made him pull it out of the trash. She then made him sit there and eat in front of her. This is AWESOME work by a concerned teacher, albeit one that is awful damned old to still be on the payroll. 

Someone complained, probably the candy-a**ed parents who allow such behavior at home, and Anne was arrested. Did you read what my fingers just typed? SHE WAS ARRESTED! This is as stupid as the lady that was arrested for stealing a library book. What in the hell is going on in this world? 

The article goes on to say that the school “addressed the needs of the child”. Really? Cause the only thing this 5 year old needs is a swift kick in the backside. We are such a wasteful society and this caring teacher tried to teach an important lesson and this is what happens. Granted, it happened in Connecticut so that kind of explains a lot of it. Bunch of tree hugging lunatics. 

Anne, if you read this, tell us what you need from us to help. My readers and I generally hate children plus we are sick of how soft our society has become. If you need us to rough up the school board or something, let us know. If you need cash, well, you probably came to the wrong place. We are better at supplying moral support. 

Oh, you probably want to know how my boy turned out. He is now a professional dumpster diver. Sure, it is not a glittery or noble profession but thanks to the wasteful US consumer, he lives in a mansion on Rodeo Drive. I would say this pretty much confirms my notion that I should be named Father of the Century. I will also be writing a parenting book soon titled, “Boy, You Better Get That Fu**ing Donut out Of the Trash”. It will be carried everywhere but Wal-Mart.


20 Responses to Making A Kid Eat Out Of A Garbage Can IS Illegal

  1. Professional Dumpster Divers are called Freegans.

  2. Is this some double secret part of the 5-second rule that I am unaware of?

  3. squirrel says:

    Way back in the day in Paris France you made me eat everything on my plate. I told you I couldn’t because I was too full and I didn’t feel good, but you insisted so I ate it. Before finishing I got sick all over the table. This is another lesson. Sometimes when your kid says he/she can’t finish the food, they might not actually be able to.

  4. Tizzle says:

    As a person who was present when tannerleah made his poor, mis-treated, and mentally abused son eat the donut from the garbage, let me say that I was appalled. I even had paid for said donuts and I wouldn’t have made the poor little guy fish it out. It was some the worst parenting I have have ever seen. As a former “super big’en” not even I ever ate food out of a trash can. Tannerleah this probably explains why I have a picture outside of my office with your kid wearing a skirt.

  5. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Are we talking about a Fritelli’s latte glazed Tahitian vanilla gourmet donut (Beverly Hills) or a Hostess? If it’s the former, then I completely understand.

  6. Ram Venkatararam says:

    We may not agree on Dora the Explorer, TL, but I back you on this one. The teacher should have also made her eat the shavings from the pencil sharpener.

  7. nursemyra says:

    hey if it was good enough for george castanza it’s good enough for a 5 year old

  8. squirrel says:

    I would never fake puke. Who (normal person) would want to make themselves throw up? Nobody, it’s disgusting. Paris wow.

  9. womaninblack says:

    I always force my children to finish their dinners, and was – until recently – proud of my success on this score.
    Then I pulled out the sofa in the front room in a rare burst of spring cleaning energy and found the mummified remains of around 20 dinners.
    I have saved them. They will eat them, dammit, if it’s the last thing they do (which it might well be).

  10. squirrel says:

    Definitely not proud of that. Even college students don’t purposefully puke, most of the time. They drink so much that they have to anyways. I on the other don’t because I’m not an idiot. People who throw up at parties aren’t exactly looked highly upon.

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