Jesus Strikes Out Again…What A Surprise

I have a colleague/friend whose dad has been sick for some time. He told me that his dad had taken a turn for the worse recently and I said, in all sincerity, I will say a prayer for him. And I did. 

Today, I get an e-mail that tells me his dad has died. So, in spite of all of the people that prayed for this man, including a heathen like me, the all knowing, all everything Jesus said, “Nah, not this time”. 

This just underscores my problem with the all powerful Oz Jesus. He randomly decides who he wants to listen to and who he doesn’t want to listen to. Importantly, he can never be wrong. In this case, he just called his “son” home. If the guy lived, it would have been “God’s will”. How convenient. 

Can I tell you I have just about had it will all of this hocus, fu**in pocus? This is the same God that lets children suffer and die on a daily basis. However, it is not up to us to ask questions. We just must accept it for what it is. I call bullsh**. The mystery man has no more control over who lives or dies than he does on which team is going to win March Madness. (Bookies, on the other hand, do have that kind of power). 

I understand that my friend’s dad was sick and things weren’t looking good. But I reached out an olive branch to Jesus and said, “Hey, give the guy a break and let him enjoy his family a little longer”. I am an idiot for having this imaginary conversation with myself. I might as well have been praying to Bozo or a hockey puck. 

Let’s just call a spade a spade. There is no God. Not now… not ever. If you choose to believe in God, knock yourself out. For me, I have had it. My intellect tells me that for all of the suffering I have known, and those that I love have known, OBVIOUSLY there is no God. You could make a much better argument for a sadistic, hateful Satan but nothing for God. 

And lest you think this is some epiphany based on the passing of one man, you are wrong. This is a lifetime of betrayals, false hopes, and lost promises. Everything I am or have is due to the love and consideration of those around me in my life. They make me who I am, for better or worse. God / Jesus / Allah / Smitty / or whoever else you want to lineup as the “chosen one” is little more than a money making industry. 

So, the big question is, will I be smote for my words? Frankly, at this very moment, I could give a sh**. Welcome to Monday morning. Hallelujah. TL

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78 Responses to Jesus Strikes Out Again…What A Surprise

  1. art vandelay says:

    I’m so sorry about your friend’s dad but you can’t blame God for him dying….we all must die someday.
    Sometimes God chooses to heal and sometimes he does not…we don’t know why. He chose not to heal my mother, too. God is not Santa…he doesn’t always give us what we ask for. When things don’t happen the way we think they should we want to blame God…I’ve done it before, too. At some point you have to let that go and realize that whatever happens is GOD’S will–not ours. When you finally try to stop controlling things and realize ultimately GOD is in control, it can be liberating. I’m happy to hear you said a prayer for him..don’t give that up. Just because he did not answer this one the way YOU thought he should does not mean he didn’t hear you. I’m not lecturing TL, just trying to explain…I love ya! xoxo

    • tannerleah says:

      I was frustrated when I wrote this but have not been smote so maybe God understands my complaint. Or, there is no God and I can right whatever I want with no ramifications.

  2. George says:

    There is a God. What we don’t like is the fact that we’re just merely His entertainment. He does the same thing I would do if I was Big Cheese: sit back, watch what happens, and smite anyone who’s not down with the program. I’m a regular churchgoer, but I understand the way it is. I just try to stay on His good side.

    Love your blog, by the way. Bearman and Michael sent me. 🙂

  3. womaninblack says:

    I asked God for a Mercedes Benz.
    Still waiting.
    (apoologies to God, by the way, if I am his entertainment. I must be a crashing disappointment)

  4. womaninblack says:

    Apoologies? That was actually quite entertaining. I am raising my game for God.

  5. The anti-god movement has been doing pretty well as of late in making money as well.

    My condolences to your friend’s family.

  6. elizabeth3hersh says:

    SPOILER ALERT!! Do not read further if you plan on seeing the movie Religulous. Here are Bill Maher’s closing remarks in the ‘must see’ movie Religulous:

    “Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It’s nothing to brag about. Those who preach faith and enable it and elevate it are our intellectual slaveholders, keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction. Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings, who DON”T have all the answers to think that they DO. And anyone who tells you that they KNOW what happens when you die, I promise you, they don’t. Because I don’t know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not. The only appropriate attitude for man to have (the big questions) is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion, but DOUBT. Doubt is humble and that is what man needs to be, considering that human history is just a litany of getting shit wrong.”

    “This is why rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. Those who consider themselves only moderately religious, really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you, actually comes at a terrible price.”

    “If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence and sheer ignorance as religion, you would resign in protest. To do otherwise, is to be an enabler, a mafia wife, where the true devils of extremism draw their legitimacy from billions of their fellow travelers. If the world does come to an end or if it limps into the future decimated by the effects of a religious inspired nuclear terrorism, let’s remember what the real problem was: that we learned how to precipitate mass death, before we got past the neurological disorder of wishing for it. That’s it, grow up or die.”

    …and that’s it in a nutshell (almost as eloquent as TL’s synopsis “By 2090, There Will Be No More Christians in America” [March 9th] which of course, I prefer).

    One last thing, I have long come out of the closet, have never been timid about sharing my iews and agree with Bill Maher (and Mr. Tannerleah) ONE THOUSAND AND ONE PERCENT.

    Doug, I miss you…

  7. art vandelay says:

    You’ve got Bill Maher, I’ve got Jesus. Fair enough.

  8. elizabeth3hersh says:

    America: Year 2150

    Jesus is gone, nobody cares
    The sound of his name just brings indifferent stares.
    People grew tired of his vanishing act
    and finally decided he ain’t coming back.

    Relieved of the burden of fancy and fable
    Society since brought great minds to the table
    Biological research brought extension to life
    To those who had once lived in pain and in strife

    Society still has its few who believe
    They cling to the myth that there is no reprieve
    They just sit and stare at the moon in great awe
    While men in white coats feed them meals through a straw.

    By: JudasChrist@aol.com

    Anyone who believes in prayer and miracles needs to take a course in statistical probability. Things “happen” all the time. If it is preceded by prayer, then God “made” it happen. If it doesn’t turn out right, then it was “God’s will”. It’s all so convenient. Like WIB, I, too, am going to give it a shot. I need my health back and a 7-series BMW would be nice too. I have a feeling “God’s will” will prevail.

    • tannerleah says:

      My head hurts, as usual. Sorry I brought the whole Jesus conversation up again.

    • tannerleah says:

      Liz – By the way, meet your soulmate. Read his quote:

      I’m kind of a Jewish atheist; I bathe in the racial beauty of Judaism, but I don’t really see what that has to do with a belief in God – Geddy Lee / lead singer of Rush

  9. womaninblack says:

    Can’t you post something non-controversial, like about kittens or something?
    Nice kittens. Not Satan’s kittens.
    TL, you’re a rabble rouser. Or a rabble arouser. One of the two (AND an extra vowel. I spoil you).

    • tannerleah says:

      It’s not my fault that the world can’t get along. I love everyone because I am a people person. Sure, Jesus and I are at odds at the moment but we will work it out.

      Thank you for the vowels. I am collecting them and will sell them on Ebay if you need some extra cash. I have to go find my republican, gay-hating kitty now.

  10. art vandelay says:

    How ’bout SEA KITTENS? Have you heard about that? PETA wants fish to be called “sea kittens” to bring awareness that they really are animals too and we should not devour them….true story.

  11. elizabeth3hersh says:

    It is well established that I don’t believe in prayer. But, I still think I should give it a shot (this will be God’s last chance to send me a sign that he exists). Rather than pray the traditional way and for traditional things, I am going to pray that today’s horoscope is true. Since I am a Scorpio, my horoscope reads as follows:

    “Circumstances are changing with regard to a financial matter that has given you fits. You might get the first signals that things are going to work out better than you thought.”

    I fortuitously cashed out my entire stock portfolio several months before the crash, so it must be the loan modification I am seeking from CitiMortgage. As I purchased my home at the peak of the real estate market, I am going to be in deep, deep trouble come next year when my loan resets (homes in Las Vegas lost 1/3 of their value so my 20% down payment and $25K in upgrades evaporated overnight). So, everyone, can I ask you to please join virtual hands in praying for some sort of miracle? I am not asking you to pray that Citi amends my loan, just that my horoscope comes true. Soon. I will keep you apprised.

  12. Ram Venkatararam says:

    I agree with WIB. Not because of controvesy but just because I know nothing about AIG and this Jesus stuff gives me the heebie jeebies.

    I could turn you on to some Hindu Gods. I think you’re ready.

  13. womaninblack says:

    By the way, TL, you still selling luggage?
    Because I need an overnight bag. Nothing fancy. Wheels if poss.
    I liked it when you sold luggage. Things were simple back in those days.

    • tannerleah says:

      Ah, the good old days. I still sell luggage…as well as stolen ID’s and cat food. Just let me know what else you need. I can expand if needed.

      • George says:

        I need to replace my cat’s old stolen ID. He keeps getting mistaken for other felines. And I think his fast his over, so I may need to score some of that cat food, too.

  14. art vandelay says:

    No, God never gives anything in return….just His SON, that’s all. Selfish jerk.

  15. womaninblack says:

    Anyway…about those kittens…

  16. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Art, Jesus was a man who CLAIMED to be the son of God. If you check out the DSM-IV this will start to make some sense.

  17. watcat says:

    Hi this blog is great I will be recommending it to friends.

  18. Sarah says:

    I’ve been a devout atheist since the age of five or six when I asked the pivotal question: “How do you know there is a god?” and was told, “Why, just look at everything around you! How can there not be a god?” That non-answer didn’t cut it then and, fifty years later, still doesn’t cut it now.

    If your god (I assume it is the christian god we are talking about here) is indeed so all-knowing, omniscient, and has a plan for all of us, then where do we, mere humans, get off on whining and crying and groveling, trying to say the magic words to get him to change his master plan? Seems kinda balls-y to me.

    My condolences to the family of your friend.

  19. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Sarah’s comment on a “Christian God” got me to thinking: since Jesus was a Jew and Jesus was the son of God, then it stands to reason God is a Jew! I now have an image of him wearing tzitzis, peyot and a black fedora. Now I wonder what Allah looks like…

  20. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Where was Child Protective Services back when all this sacrificin’ business was going on?

  21. i believe in God but i sure am pissed as fu** at him. I’ve been praying for about 20 of my 23 years of being alive and i have only had one of those prayers answered. i was born addicted to crack, had the shit beat out of me before 3 because i had crack addicted mother. was put in foster care and molested from 3 until 14 and also had the shit beat out of me..and still i prayed. I don’t think God really listens, or maybe he does and is just to busy. i often think im just not important enough…

    • tannerleah says:

      Let me say it before someone else does. “Of course God answered your prayers! Look how wonderful you turned out. It’s a true blessing”. See how that works?

  22. elizabeth3hersh says:

    You continued to pray littlestsurvivor because you were hoping and yearning for someone to pluck you out of that abusive cauldron of social failings. The sole responsibility for what happened to you lies squarely on society and it is societies obligation (not a mythical God’s) to rectify the wrongs committed against you. Continue to share your experiences. We need some real reform and your story tells us why.

  23. squirrel says:

    You don’t have a Ouija board. I do. I don’t remember saying that you could borrow it either. That thing was expensive for a Walmart purchase.

  24. Aces n Eights says:

    “It has served us well, this myth of Christ” — Pope Leo X (circa 1574)

  25. squirrel says:

    Haha… grown ups. GOOD ONE. Go back to work now.

  26. next time pray to the messiah.

  27. squirrel says:

    One day I will be. I get to pick the home and all of that fun stuff. If you’re lucky I’ll put you in one of those homes with the classy chicks.

  28. squirrel says:

    Because I don’t change diapers. Plus T is supposed to be the rich one and all that. Live with him. Plus don’t you want to stay with mom in the home?

  29. art vandelay says:

    God never said there would not be suffering in this world…instead he told us there would be GREAT suffering. Survivor my heart goes out to you. It sounds like your blog name fits you aptly….never give up and never give up on God. This world is SO imperfect and in your case pretty shitty….that is why God gave up his only Son for us so that we can someday live in the perfect world with Him again…the way he created this world before sin entered it. Keep surviving!

  30. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Not so fast Art. That’s not what littlestsurvivor needs (or wants) to hear. Here is what a psychiatric nurse with some experience in these matters has to say to littlestsurvivor (BTW, I was born to a teenage mother who became a raging alcoholic and I have done a stint in foster care):

    With your abhorrent background, you must have cobbled together some street smarts along the way. So you know and I know God didn’t do jacksh** for you growing up and he is not going to do jacksh** for you now. That’s because “God” lives in the minds of believers. You probably have trust and mood issues and perhaps some anger issues. These will take years if not decades to resolve and even then there will never be a complete resolution, but you CAN find genuine joy in living and hopefully, society can find some redemption by making things right with you in bits and pieces. Your family can be found in the community, in relationships that you build. Do the best job you can in nurturing these relationships and most of all, always keep it real.

    • tannerleah says:

      Um…maybe fighting over littlestsurvivor isn’t in HER best interests? Can’t you keep the fight between the main participants? Liz, you be Screech and Art will be Danny Bonaduce.

  31. squirrel says:

    Yes it is. That means nothing though when it comes to you living in a home. I said I would pick a nice one.

  32. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Cut me a little slack today TL (pretty please)…I’ve had three hours of sleep. I really don’t feel like being a pugilist.

    P.S. Bonaduce is mine.

  33. squirrel says:

    Okay fine. You old moocher.

  34. art vandelay says:

    Speaking of “anger issues”……I don’t believe I’m the one with them

  35. squirrel says:

    I love you too. If I let you live with me, can I be numero uno on the will? I’m asking in the most polite way possible. Since I will have to take care of you it’s reasonable. Watch mom gasp when she reads this. I’m so insensitive. THANKS TO YOU.

  36. squirrel says:

    Nevermind.

  37. tannerleah says:

    Ok. You can have my Tom Brady statue…but that’s it!

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