Quick Quiz

March 14, 2009

I have a couple of similar issues I need help resolving. I am going to add a poll so you can let me know which way I should go. What you decide is what I will do.

Are either of these actresses hot?

First is Mariska Hargitay. She has a smoking hot body but man hair and really dude like facial features. I want to like her but I struggle. Should I cave in?


(Pretty awesome Photoshop job by me to cover her dirty pillows, isn’t it?)

The second lady I struggle with is that chick from “Bones”, Emily Deschanel. Again, I really want to like her but there is some sort of dude vibe coming off of her as well.


So, what I need from you is some guidance on whether either one, or both, of these ladies are worth getting out my Kleenex box for. I am willing to go either way on this but I can’t stay in limbo forever. Your help is greatly appreciated. TL

Drugging Your Boss Is Funny…But Probably Wrong

March 14, 2009

Erin Kelly was sick of her boss being a high strung prick. So, being the “type A” personality that accomplished things rather than complain about them, she drugged him. Nothing major…just a little Valium in his coffee to increase his mellow. Of course, being the prick that he is, he started acting like he was having a heart attack instead of enjoying the moment.

Erin, 24, is a cage cleaner at the Reynolds Road Animal Clinic. If you have ever cleaned cages for a living, you know what a thankless job it is. The last thing you need is a demanding jerk walking around barking out orders. Enter veterinarian Dr. John Duckett. Like most vets (and dentists) he has a chip on his shoulder because he can’t be a “real” doctor. So, he no doubt takes it out on his minions.

One morning Erin came up with the brilliant plan to sedate the good doctor so he would come down off of his high horse. She may have inadvertently overdosed him (She’s a cage cleaner for chrissake…not a pharmacist) and left the good doc kind of dizzy and slurring his words. Now I am no doctor but I have watched “House” several times. How slurring and dizziness equals heart attack is beyond me. Clearly, he was having stroke like symptoms. I would have immediately plunged a huge needle into his heart. Not because it would help but because I always think it is cool when they do it.

Erin admitted to the crime and is out on bail for 25k. The doctor, who caused all of this in the first place, is back to sticking his fist up cow butts or whacking off gerbils. He is a vet in Arkansas… that’s just how they roll. With any luck at all, he will have learned a lesson about his dickiness and do something to make it better. He could start by dropping charges against Erin who was just trying to make the world a happier place.

My peeps would never drug me because I am a burning inferno full of fun and joy. As a people person, I see it as my job to bring joy to the workplace on a daily basis. Let me share one of my tricks with you. When you walk into the office, single out the person that has the worst looking hair. Then say, “Jesus Christ, what the hell crapped on your head?” They will have an immediate look of confusion followed by sadness on their face. You quickly follow with, “I was kidding!…sort of”. That move alone brings great joy to all of the other employees that were not the subject of the ridicule. See how awesome that is? I can give you more hints if you need them, just ask. As always, you are welcome. TL