By 2090, There Will Be No More Christians In America

Or something like that. In the last 15 or so years, 10% less Americans identify themselves as Christians. So, doing the math, I think the United States will harbor no more Christians after 2090. Don’t ask me how I got to the number…it is very complicated and involves statistics. Really, really hard statistics.

What will America be like with no Christians? I envision a much happier place. No longer will gays, people of color, working moms, UFO believers, and Satanists be mocked. Instead, it will just be one happy, non-judgmental family. You do what you want to do without the worry of the “invisible one” looking over your shoulder every second.

Just this reduction in stress alone will lead to a happier world. There will be no competition for whose God is better or who the chosen people are. We will all be the chosen people. Chosen to lead a productive life and chosen to die an unremarkable and dignified death.

There will be no need to attack our brothers around the world based on their beliefs because, well, we will have no extraterrestrial beliefs. The Golden Rule will finally have real value and people will treat each other with the dignity they deserve.

Sure, we will have to give up some cool stuff. Televangelists, monster crosses, mega-churches, cool religious symbols used for tattoos and jewelry, and tithing will all be goners. Also, the number of pedophile priests and money grubbing pastors will be greatly reduced. Just the price I suppose we will have to face.

What in the world will fill this religious void? I don’t know. Maybe kindness, consideration, love, understanding, unity, empathy, and a variety of other muted traits that we seldom see today. Who knows, maybe intellect and science will once again raise its head above superstition and tradition. (We can dream, right Liz?)

Don’t get me wrong. There are individuals within our culture that do great things in the name of Allah or God or whoever their icon is. This is truly commendable. However, in the future, this will be non-denominational. They will be allowed to share the same love for their Muslim or Hindu brothers and sisters as they do for their fellow former Christians. Sure, we can still hate fat people, short people, tall people, skinny people, and whatever other slices of humanity that we choose to alienate. I didn’t say it would be perfect but the religious intolerance that rules the world as we know it will be dead. That’s something we should praise Jesus for…while you still can.


56 Responses to By 2090, There Will Be No More Christians In America

  1. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Hallelujah and PTL!! But, I really don’t like the part that Jews will not be the Chosen Ones any more (that will put a serious crimp in our justification for seizing the West Bank).

    P.S. This post is a classic TL, a classic I tell you…and amen brotha’.

  2. nursemyra says:

    no more mega churches? damn! I was hoping for a Tammy Faye Baker resurgence

  3. art vandelay says:

    No comment

  4. art vandelay says:

    I must be cowardly…it takes immense bravery to besmirch Jesus like you do!

  5. Aces n Eights says:

    This is a great post TL! The mere “questioning” of the supernatural gods is taboo, let alone suggesting the world would be a better place without such nonsense. You’ve got the stones my man.

    As the saying goes..”Read the Bible, the world needs more atheists”.

    Considering that religion is the leading cause for war and killing than any other variable in world history, I believe your argument has some merit.

    • tannerleah says:

      Aces – Believe me, if I thought invisible God was going to pound me for my comments, I would keep my mouth shut. I would prefer to think that I get extra points for questioning and critical thinking. If I were God, I would appreciate a little healthy skepticism.

  6. art vandelay says:

    Egos, egos, everywhere.

  7. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Art, how can believing in everlasting life not be the height of egotism? From a cosmological perspective, we (humans) are not that special. I find that atheists and agnostics have a much more humble view of mankind than fundamentalist believers. We don’t have such an inflated view of ourselves that we believe we are destined (and deserving) of a utopic hereafter.

  8. art vandelay says:

    What I mean is that some athiests let their ego get in the way of believing in God because they don’t want to seem inferior to believe in something so ridiculous…they don’t want to appear stupid or be made fun of. I’ve been ridiculed on this blog endlessly for my faith but that’s part of being a Christian–even Jesus was ridiculed. I’ve said it before, it takes just as much faith to NOT believe in God–possibly more…(the possible outcome of NOT believing could prove to be horrendous) Receiving God’s grace is not having an “inflated view of ourselves”…we are all undeserving yet God continues to forgive us. I’m not the one who thinks I deserve to go to heaven…God does. I know how unworthy I am.

  9. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Art, allow me to ask you a question: if you were born in, let’s say, Saudi Arabia, what religion would you be? A Muslim (by law you must be a Muslim to be a citizen of Saudi Arabia). The Qur’an would be your “Bible” and Muhammad (not Jesus) would be your prophet. Within this religion, there would be conflict between the majority Sunni Muslims and the minority Shia Muslims (just as we have our differences between Protestants and Catholics). Saudi Arabia is a good example because you would be arrested if you were to proselytize any other religion so exposure to other religions would not be an issue. As a child and teenager, this is all you would know and would be the religion you grew up in (and if you would allow me to use an overused word of mine: HARD-WIRED to believe this religion). You probably would learn to scorn Christianity and believe that your religion is the superior (and only true) religion. If you were born somewhere else, your religion could be Hinduism, Confucianism, Taoism, Judaism, Buddhism, Shino, Baha’i, or Zoroastrianism or any other number of religions in the world. For the most part Art, you are what you are born into. What makes Christianity the “right” religion? Because the Bible “says so”? The Koran says something different. How do you know that’s not the right religion? It “says so”, doesn’t it? How about L.Ron Hubbard or Joseph Smith (they said so too!)? If you study world religions, you will see they are all different and many are contradictory. Isn’t it a little elitist (and divisive) to believe that one’s own religion is superior?

    Just because a book “says so” doesn’t make it “so”.

  10. art vandelay says:

    Liz-you have a valid argument and one I don’t have all the answers to. I, too, have wondered the exact same thing..especially growing up with a best friend who was a devout muslim. (I was not a Christian at the time). The one thing Christianity has to offer that all other religions don’t is a LIVING GOD. Jesus is the only God that died and lived again. Other religions will agree that Jesus lived and was a great prophet but when it comes to the crucifixion they will not acknowledge it because it trumps their god. I just saw a special on FOX about a couple of months ago on a guy who was the son of a very powerful Hamas leader who left Islam for Christianity. He lived in Israel and was asked by a friend to at least give Christianity a chance. Out of curiosity he decided to see what the bible was all about and one sentence changed his life: “Love your enemy”. His Qu’ran had always taught him to kill the enemy. He took TWO years and secretly studied the Bible and the Qu’ran side by side and was filled with awe by the fact the bible was consistent to it’s word from beginning to end and the Qu’ran was filled with inconsistencies from cover to cover. He also couldn’t believe how simple Christianity was–just believe in God. No other strings attached. He converted and is now living in L.A. and fearing for his life to this day.
    I don’t understand how God could punish all these people for not believing in HIM when they have been brought up to believe in other gods (and have been very faithful)….I honestly don’t. Religion is not like science–ALL the answers aren’t always there. We also don’t know what happens at the time of death either…only God knows a person’s true heart.
    All I can say is that the bible tells you that whoever believes in HIM will have eternal life–and those that do not will perish. Yes it sounds harsh but if you believe in Him it’s nothing compared to what he gave up for us. My belief goes way beyond just words printed in a book..yes it’s the heart of Christianity but I’ve had too many miraculous things happen in my own life that can honestly only be credited to GOD. I don’t judge anyone for not believing in Him at all….it just makes me sad 😦

    NOW….TL, enough of the heavy stuff….do a blog on the wicked witch in Washington..and no I don’t mean Hillary…I think you can figure it out. Oh, and don’t let me stop you from fisting yourself….gag a maggot!

  11. 951lover says:

    I cant speak for bible thumpers, or atheists, but being under the influence clearly allows blogging with a blissful hope. Stalin also saw utopia without religion.

  12. art vandelay says:

    Too many rules in know, like no caffeine…WTF???

  13. elizabeth3hersh says:

    “For what is Man in nature? A nothingness in respect to infinity, a whole in respect to nothingness, a median between nothing and everything.”

    -Blaine Pascal

    Doug, where are you?

  14. i saw this on cbs news with that G-D awful katie couric. why does she have to have such an ugly haircut?! anywho, organized religion sucks. mozel tov.

  15. elizabeth3hersh says:

    It is a reference to Art’s belief that it is a win/win position for her to believe based on Pascal’s premise that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose by believing (my interpretation: we are but ephemeral beings).

    Arguing with Pascal is Richard Carrier:

    “Suppose there is a God who is watching us and choosing which souls of the deceased to bring to heaven, and this god really does want only the morally good to populate heaven. He will probably select from only those who made a significant and responsible effort to discover the truth. For all others are untrustworthy, being cognitively or morally inferior, or both. They will also be less likely ever to discover and commit to true beliefs about right and wrong. That is, if they have a significant and trustworthy concern for doing right and avoiding wrong, it follows necessarily that they must have a significant and trustworthy concern for knowing right and wrong. Since this knowledge requires knowledge about many fundamental facts of the universe (such as whether there is a god), it follows necessarily that such people must have a significant and trustworthy concern for always seeking out, testing, and confirming that their beliefs about such things are probably correct. Therefore, only such people can be sufficiently moral and trustworthy to deserve a place in heaven — unless god wishes to fill heaven with the morally lazy, irresponsible, or untrustworthy.”

    “Suppose we grant that there is indeed some small chance that God exists. Nevertheless, it could be said that you will lead a better, fuller life if you bet on his not existing, than if you bet on his existing and therefore squander your precious time on worshipping him, sacrificing to him, fighting and dying for him, etc.”

    -Richard Dawkins (The God Delusion)

    But then you wouldn’t go to Heaven I guess…

  16. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Instead of saying something Jewish to ‘that girl’, I’ll leave you with a few good Yiddish quotes:

    A pish un a fortz iz vi a khasene un a klezmer. – A pee without a fart, is like a wedding without a band.

    Er drayt sich arum vie a fortz in russell – He wanders around like a fart in a barrel (aimless).

    Fortz n’ zovver – A foul, soul-smelling fart.

    Ess vie ein foygl sheise vie ein feirt! – Eat like a bird, sh** like a horse!

    Zolst hobn tzen haizer, yeder hoiz zol hobn tzen tzimern, in yeder tzimer zoln zain tzen betn un zolst zij kaiklen fun ein bet in der tzweiter mit cadojes!
    – I wish you to have ten houses, each house with ten rooms, each room with ten beds and you should roll from one bed to the other with cholera.

    Az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde – If my grandmother had testicles, she would be my grandfather.

    BTW, Mazel Tov means congratulations or good luck. I think she was wishing you congratulations on your post on religion (to which I also say Mazel Tov)!!

  17. i LOVE Az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde – If my grandmother had testicles, she would be my grandfather.

    i read it on my bb outside and i rofled and folks thought i was nuts.

    and i use mozel tov to convey the feeling of joy. and i say shalom to say goodbye. and i have hebrew tattoos but i dont know what they mean. im not going to jew heaven.

  18. elizabeth3hersh says:

    that chick-I’m not going to Jew-Heaven either (which begs the quetion, is there a Jew-Hell)? I wish you mazel (luck) in this life.

  19. art vandelay says:

    I still don’t get the whole “I’m a Jew but I don’t believe in God” thing. Is there a Jewish club I can join just so I can use the lingo? Anyhoo, it’s not that complicated……God created ALL of DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU’RE “lazy, irresponsible, untrustworthy”….you can be GAY, a MURDERER, commit ADULTERY, you name the doesn’t matter…Christ created YOU and knows that you SIN and he still loves you–and you can still get to heaven being all of those things. Non-believers always make Christ seem so mean..the fact of the matter is he expects you to sin and loves you anyway…it’s so in front of us if we’re just willing to accept.

  20. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Christ may have made you Art (how, I am not sure), but I was evolved from single celled organisms over millions and millions of years. My early ancestors emerged from the ocean. What fate awaits me who can tell…I can only hope that some of my atoms end up in another conscious being somewhere down the road.

    I’m a non-believer and I don’t make Christ look mean. On the contrary, I think he was a great philosopher (and I emphasize PHILOSOPHER). If he were alive today, he would have made one hell of a successful defense attorney. His last name could even have been Sorkin.

    I’m sure the messianic Jews would welcome you with open arms.

  21. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Wow, I just saw the movie Religulous and can enthusiastically recommend it (FIVE STARS!!!). TL, you would LOVE this movie.

  22. art vandelay says:

    I was made from a rib, you were made from atoms….life is good!

  23. art vandelay says:

    BTW, I think Bill Maher is KING dick.

  24. elizabeth – the jews don’t believe in hell. i learned this in israel on my free birthright trip. can you believe that?! the jews giving out something for free. call the media.

    art – maybe im slow but the jews dont believe in christ?! but i do. i carry a pocket jesus around with me. i was going to bring him to said israel with me but then my foot started to hurt and i couldnt walk and i thought that was G-ds way of telling me to stop being such a slutty whore and leave pocket jesus at home. i did. but then i got a new one. i loves him.

  25. art vandelay says:

    Jewish people do believe in God….Liz does not…that’s what puzzles me

  26. art vandelay says:

    Maher IS king dick…although I know he has some huge balls to slander God the way he does…total pinhead.

  27. art vandelay says:

    I agree, I enjoy Liz very much

  28. elizabeth3hersh says:

    I’m surprised you didn’t give this movie a five star rating. Many of the references require an in depth knowledge of religious prohibitions and ideology. For instance, in the interview with the rabbi at the Institute for Science and Halacha (where they are building the Shabbatevator, a phone that circumvents dialing and a wheelchair that runs on compressed air) requires the audience to know that work and use of electricity is prohibited on Shabbat (the Jewish Sabbath). This includes the tearing of toilet tissue (the Orthodox will have it pre-torn prior to Shabbat…since Jesus was a Jew, I wonder how he handled his peri-care?). The Jews have devised all sorts of ingenious ways of getting around this (lawyers, lawyers). One example is the eruv. The eruv is a string that observant Jews tie around a small section of the community around a temple (using light poles, telephone poles, buildings…) allowing them to carry their children, handbag, house keys, food, etc (carrying is considered “work” in the Jewish religion). Bill Maher asks the rabbi “aren’t you trying to outsmart God?” This is quintessential Jewish humor and was hilarious! But, again, if you were not familiar with Judaism, this entire segment would be lost on you. The same with his portrayal of Muslims (particularly the Dome of the Rock scene). Five stars TL, five stars!

    • tannerleah says:

      I don’t disagree with you. However, any movie that requires a degree in Judaism and Muslim-ism is probably not going to do great box office. Next time we are together, we can watch and you can translate.

  29. art vandelay says:

    The Jews even have a “Shabbat Elevator”…it stops at every floor….made the mistake of getting on it at our hotel in Israel. Interesting.
    Liz–since you are Jewish why doesn’t Bill Maher offend you? He’s making fun of your religion, too. I’m so confusified by you.

  30. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Top Ten Reasons I Love Being a Jew

    1) matzo ball soup, latkes, and falafel
    2) it is a mitzvah to get drunk on Purim (Purim is
    our version of Haloween)
    3) our children are either doctors, lawyers or
    engineers (“as I was saying Rivka…my son,
    4) we answer to a higher power: science, erudition
    and evidence
    5) saving $$$!!!
    6) allowed (and expected) to complain incessantly
    7) Yiddish (as in “Art’s relentless championing of
    evangelism is hokking me a tshynik”)
    8) Jewish humor (even God is hilarious!)
    9) neurosis is an integral part of our identity
    (think Woody Allen)
    10) kosher sex! (…haha…I’m a “medical virgin”)

    So, to encapsulate: it’s the food, people, traditions, humor, viewpoint, value on education and institutions that provide the framework for fellowship and distributing tzedakah (charity). Why is that such a stretch?!!!? Jeeez…

    • yes! all very good reasons. the jewish religion is actually very interesting and so if you dont know it, then you wouldnt understand. and why does God have to be part of religion anyways. I don’t understand that one.

    • tannerleah says:

      Your list was good until you mentioned Woody Allen the child molester. (Although I guess technically Mao Mao or Sing Sing was of age at the time).

  31. wait. i do understand. lets just make believe i didnt say that?

  32. elizabeth3hersh says:

    No, that chick, you got it EXACTLY RIGHT!! Thank you!! God does NOT have to be part of religion. Wow, I can’t believe someone actually said that. You get full credit and I couldn’t agree more!! Absolutely brilliant!

    P.S. During my five week sojourn in London, I learned that anything good is brilliant.

  33. art vandelay says:

    Perhaps you should call yourself an athiest who enjoys Jewish traditions. Your religion is ATHIESM…when you take GOD out of religion it’s called ATHIESM. I hate it when people take bits of things they like about certain religions and mold them to THEIR lifestyle….I can see why you don’t take any of it seriously…it’s a mockery. Did you know you don’t have to be Jewish to enjoy Matzo Ball soup? I have it every year at a Seder dinner but I think it’s DISGUSTING! I can tell you the Jews I met in Israel would not understand your version of Judaism.

  34. art vandelay says:

    I just read it and thought the same thing! Yeah, and where is Doug anyway?? I haven’t had a good ass-whipping by him in a long time!

  35. makeupcorner says:

    art – i dont understand people like who care what other people do. so what if you take certain parts of religion and mold it to their lives? we only have one to live and why not do things that we want to? and who are we hurting exactly? i dont like people who think they have a right to determine what is right and wrong. im certain you are no angel. and i applaud you for meeting one type of jew in israel and basing your argument on that. because i met a lot of young people from the kibbutz who didnt believe. read a book. travel more and then maybe you’d understand.

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