Show Us Your Boobs For A T-Shirt. Really?

March 6, 2009

This was the scintillating offer made by the camera crew of Girls Gone Wild. Flash your boobs and/or butt, and get a lovely pink t-shirt. How many women fell for this silly offer? That number would be four. Sadly, what should have clearly been one of the highest moments in their lives, (I mean we ARE talking about a free t-shirt!) quickly went straight into the crapper.

Turns out the Sanford, Fl police department was hip to what was going on. (It might have been the massive GIRLS GONE WILD sign out front of the bar). As the four girls came down from the VIP room, they were promptly arrested for exposure. When one of the young ladies was asked why she did it, she responded, “because it was Girls Gone Wild…you show your boobs…it’s what you do”. Well said, young lady. Well said.

Sanford Police Department Sgt. David Morganstern was succinct in his observation about the situation. “You can’t have nudity in the city”. This is actually true. Most residents of Sanford go to neighboring Nakedasajaybird County to do their naked work. Sadly, it is too late for these young woman. They will now be branded as “nudies” by the local community. My understanding is they will be forced to wear plaid shirts that will hide their dirty pillows forever.

Personally, I was under the impression that the whole Girls Gone Wild phenomenon went out of style about 20 years ago. Sure, drunk women still flash themselves but who needs a DVD when every guy at the bar /beach/club has a cell phone? Let’s face it; this world will always be full of hootchie mommas. And I say God bless ’em. If they want to throw their giant, stretch marked boobs out in the open so everyone can see they have aerioli the size of Toledo, who am I to judge?

In fact, send ME your photo’s and I will give you something much more valuable than a stupid t-shirt. (Maybe chicken wings or something). Then, I can sell your photos to the hooligans at GGW and make a ton of money off of your drunken misfortune. (But I would do it in a polite and professional way). Please be sure that if you are puking while the photo is being taken that you pull your hair back so we can get a good look. Those are worth a little more.

I would love to stay and chat some more about this fascinating subject but I have committed myself to a new workout regime. I must tell you, the results have been remarkable so far. I am too embarrassed to show you a “before” photo but here is the “after”. Try not to be too jealous.


Grab Your Broomstick And Take A Spin…

March 6, 2009

with this Fridays request of the week, The Honeydrippers. (Yeah Plant, I get it. Squeeze my lemon, honey dripper…how subtle).