Do You Really Shave Your Toes?

I was going to write something about Barry’s speech last night but just couldn’t muster the strength. I also considered writing about the fact that every time the camera panned to someone in the audience, they looked like they died maybe 10 years ago. (Seriously people, could we stop re-electing people that drool and wear Depends?)

Instead of politics, I want to revisit personal grooming. Not manscaping; that subject has already been addressed. No, I want to talk about the relentless pursuit of women to be “hair free”. To be honest, I have been married for over 20 years so body hair fashion is not something I am terribly in tune with. And by the way, I am ok with this.

The other day a colleague mentioned that she was fantasizing thinking about me while she was shaving her legs. A funny little story until she also pointed out she shaved her toes. Are you kidding me? My journalistic radar immediately went into full coverage mode. Within a few hours, I had asked pretty much each of the 6 women I know if they do the same thing. 5 of 6 said yes!

This body hair thing has gotten completely out of control. Men getting their “boys” a haircut…woman shaving their toes. What is going on? As I considered this issue, I thought back to the cover photo of Bar Rafaeli. In the photo, she is virtually hairless. We know that since she is from Israel, that she is naturally covered in body hair. So, I would say it probably takes her about 3 hours a day to get hair free. Is this really worth it? (I only spend an hour on my butt each day and that is to reduce dingleberries. A real medical reason).

Then, in what can only be described as divine intervention, I found a website that posts full magazines on-line. I have been going through a muscle car phase (middle aged crisis) and saw that they also had Penthouse on-line. I haven’t seen a Penthouse since the 80’s issue that had Wade Boggs and his lover Margo something. (In fact, I probably still have that issue somewhere).

So, as a journalist, I open the digital magazine. Can you guess what I saw? That’s right…no less than 8 models that were virtually hairless. Most had shaved everything including their hoo-hoo’s. The only exception was one or two that had what I can only describe as a sideways Inspector Clouseau mustache. What is the point of that? Since this is a PG blog, here is what I am talking about.

hoo-hoo-stache

I’m sorry, but that is just weird.

Anyway, I thought this important news item should be shared with you. I hope I was able to enlighten the masses. We have a real crisis here and you people need to do something about it. You are welcome. TL

24 Responses to Do You Really Shave Your Toes?

  1. art vandelay says:

    I never shaved my toes until my girlfriend’s 14 year old daughter told me how disgusting I was for not doing it….even though they are blonde and hardly visible. I have broken down and now give the big toe a swipe every now and then….I don’t get it either. This girl shaves her arms also.

  2. Doug says:

    Which muscle cars are you yearning for? Camaro? Mustang? Tempest? I can’t afford any of them so I settled for a 1970 Datsun Roadster for now.

    • tannerleah says:

      Doug – I have a weak spot for Camaros and Chevelles. I can’t afford one either but, luckily, I just ordered Art to send me a bunch of money. Since she will do anything she is told, I should be golden. You want my Vega? I know Ram has his eye on it but if you ask first….

      • Ram Venkatararam says:

        I was planning to live in that Vega!!!

        I’m already on record re: enjoying the company of hairy women so I won’t get into that again here.

        Have to hand it to you TL, this muscle cars and toe shaving thread has to be one of a kind.

        • tannerleah says:

          The thread does have a certain energy, doesn’t it?

          Considering your current economic trials and tribulations, I will hold the Vega for you. CSI still has it impounded and I am probably going to need someone to professionally get the blood out of it, so be patient.

  3. Hairless Toe says:

    Regarding the hoo-hoo, yes I do-do that too-too. Is that TMI?

  4. Doug says:

    Art’s toes are blond and barely visible? I’d never thought about toe hairs before, but it would be a tad bit disturbing to see a coarse black hair protruding from a pair of beach thongs. Sort of like a hairy mole – not very appealing.

    Is the Vega a Cosworth?

    • tannerleah says:

      Doug – Maybe she has little retarded toes? Or maybe her toes are like Jesus…they are awesome, you just can’t see them.

      The Vega is the kind that drinks 1 gallon of oil a week. Is that a Cosworth?

  5. Anonymous says:

    To keep you up with the times…the point of the sideways Inspector Clouseau mustache is to keep it “adult like” and not “child like”. That would just be sick….which would start a whole different pedophile (sp?) blog

  6. elizabeth3hersh says:

    I saw Zumanity (billed as the sensual side of Cirque du Soleil) recently and found the hairless bodies (men and women alike) a complete and utter turn-off. Bring back the bush!!

    P.S. Just checked my toes…no hair and no, I didn’t shave them.

    P.P.S. Cool classic car Doug!! Imperial Palace in Las Vegas has a classic car museum that would make you drool. They have cars you would want to fornicate with.

  7. Doug says:

    Hey Liz. I’ve been to the car museum at the Imperial Palace and LOVED it! I just wish I had the money to buy some of those cars. I also have a 1959 Simca Oceane (a French convertible) that I’m in the process of restoring. Glad to hear that your toes are of the hairless variety.

  8. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Doug, I could not take my eyes off Howard Hughes’ Duesenberg at the Imperial Palace. My ex had a 1930’s Cord that he was restoring. Old cars are an art form…I love the hell out of them.

  9. Aces n Eights says:

    I like to shave my “tenders”, but grow the toe hair as long as I can. That way, when I sit Indian style, it makes my thang look bigger! It’s all about perception boys 🙂

  10. Wow, hairy toes, muscle cars, and even a woman calling for more Bush :)(they love ya Dubya, they really love ya.)

    The favorite muscle car I ever owned was a ’67 Nova Super Sport 327 CI, 350 HP, and I’ve had a lot of cars. A 55 Nomad, 65 Barracuda, 56 Bel Air, and several others that I wish I had now. The one I really wanted was a 69 Z28 but never got around to getting one. The Cosworth is a very rare car now and worth quite a bit. I believe the reason why that engine was OK as opposed to the regular Vega engine was that the aluminum block on the Cosworth had steel sleeves.

    My (muscle car) now is a Mustang GT, but I prefer driving my FJ.

    Tom

    The best bang for your buck right now is the new Challenger unless the Govt makes us run it on wind power or something.

    Tom

    • tannerleah says:

      Tom – Oddly enough, I was just salivating over a 69 z28. A truly worthy car. I would have loved to have all of the cars you mentioned but there is one big problem…I am not a “car” guy. That simply means that I have no desire to work on the car; just drive and admire it. Those kind of cars deserve a better owner than me.

      You don’t think the Challenger will be a beast running on 20 AAA batteries?

  11. art vandelay says:

    I was in Palm Springs last week and tooled around in my friend’s Bentley….the valet guys are always so much nicer when you pull up in that instead of our Dodge Caliber rental car.

  12. art vandelay says:

    Busted!

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