This Will Perk Up Your Friday

February 20, 2009

Should You Go To Jail For Killing Birds?

February 20, 2009

That was my first thought when I read the headline, “Seven arrested in bird massacre”. I thought that these 7 were probably poor rednecks who needed food and that trumped any concern they might have for the birds.

Boy, was I wrong. These 7 absolutely deserved to be arrested and I hope they are significantly fined for their ridiculous behavior. Let me introduce you to the “Bird Killing 7”.






That’s right. Turns out these 7 were just spoiled rich kid douche bags. Mato looks especially douchey and needs to have a good a** whippin’ put on him. Shaughnessy really needs to look into buying some new shades. And Meads, apparently the token whore in the group, should really find a better group of friends. C’mon Ms. Meads. You are a pretty girl (although you should dial back on the eyeliner). You can do better than these monkeys. (No, I am not making an Obama reference).

Here is the damage that these idiots caused.


Now, I am not a PETA guy nor do I have some soft spot for birds. In fact, except for animals I eat on a regular basis, I am not too concerned about the subject of animals at all. Still, this is just ridiculous. This just reeks of spoiled rotten children that have no regard for anything other than themselves.

I don’t think we call these idiots yuppies anymore, so what are they? I know they are douche bags but is there some sort of generational term that should be applied to them? I am sure someone will fill me in.

I would like to see the Magnificent Seven pay a substantial fine and then be sentenced to 30 days of cleaning up bird sh** in whatever city they live in. If they don’t have bird droppings, they can work in an animal shelter and clean the cages. I would really prefer they be a** raped by some big dudes in jail but that’s just because that dumba** grin on the Matos kid bugs me.

Are these the kids that will lead the next generation? Awesome. I might as well just die now so I don’t have to endure the stupidity. This just strengthens the case that we should let more hard working immigrants into this country before the entire concept of work is completely lost.

Maybe instead of yuppies they should be called “Hiltons”. This group looks suspiciously like the type of people that would hang with Paris. “Ooh…you killed a bunch of ugly birds…that’s hot”.

I am going to get drunk right now.