Man Killed For Peeing On Building

February 19, 2009
Shawn Johnson just could not hold it any longer. He had to pee and he had to pee now! So, with apparently no other avenue available, Shawn whipped it out and started to do his business next to a food store. It was dark and deserted, so this seemed like a fairly easy way to solve his problem.

Unfortunately for Shawn, the store was owned by Leroy Moon. I guess Leroy has a really, really big problem with this sort of thing. As Shawn’s wife Mildred stood and watched, Leroy came out of the store, yelled at Shawn to stop, and killed him. Just like that. (To be fair, as you all know, you can’t just stop peeing on a dime like that anyway).

There are all kinds of problems with this story. First, Leroy, isn’t it going to be a much bigger problem cleaning up blood rather than pee? I mean, you just can’t get blood out of anything these days. Plus, and I am not judging here, but you may have just slightly over reacted. I could understand if the guy had dropped his drawers and deposited a log, but he just peed. Does that really warrant the death penalty?

I realize that this happened in Detroit where anything is possible but doesn’t it seem like there might be a bit more to this story than we are missing? The name of Leroy’s store is “Asian Fisheries”. Maybe Shawn made a crack about Leroy’s wife smelling like fish, or something. Maybe it was a crack deal gone bad. I suppose at some point the truth will come out. All I know is that Leroy is 69 years old. I doubt he really wants spend the rest of his “golden years” in jail because he just had an urge to pop a cap in some guys a**.

As usual, I have a question. Why the hell is there a fish store in the middle of a black neighborhood? White people are the only ones that eat fish. And they only do that because they are convinced it is “good” for them. Sure it is. Anything that is slimy and smells like a hoo-hoo must be good for you. Whatever you say.

Take note all of you dill weeds that like to take a leak in public. You might just come up against someone like Leroy Moon and that will be your last damned public potty break. You feeling me Mark Wahlberg? Keep it in your pants. Oh, and say hi to your mother for me.