Do me a favor. Look at this cartoon out of the New York Post:
What is the first thing you think of when you see that cartoon? Two things immediately popped into my mind. First, both of those cops need to get nose jobs. Seriously, how can they even carry those things around without hurting their necks everyday? The second thing I thought was, “Damn, that guy is a pretty good shot”. Sure, it was at close range but I bet the monkey was acting all…well…apesh**!
Basically, every media whore personality, jumped on the fact that the monkey was meant to portray Obama. Now you know that I, being an occasional black person, do not condone any kind of racial bigotry. (Ok, I do have an issue with Eskimos). But besides the nose rubbers, I am the first to stand up for what is right when it comes to these matters. And so, the truth is the first thing I thought of when I saw this was that even an idiot monkey could write that piece of crap bailout bill.
That’s the honest to Jehovah truth. It wasn’t until I was surfing later that I read the comments of the Honorable Rev. Al Sharpton. Reverend Al said the cartoon was, “troubling at best given the historic racist attacks of African-Americans as being synonymous with monkeys.” Really? We just voted a kind of black man in office but if you make a monkey joke you are racist? I completely and utterly miss the correlation.
This continues to be a problem for our country in all aspects of race, gender, and religion. Every group, even white males (KKK) feel like they are somehow being offended and read way to much into the most innocuous events. Could we all just sac up a little please? There are plenty of real crimes against humanity out there. So many, in fact, that I could just write a blog about them everyday. Gay person being beaten? Yup. Person of color being assaulted? Check. Woman being sexually abused? Several times a day. When this kind of thing gets blown out of proportion, it takes the spotlight off of the real problems we face.
Eh…enough of my soapbox speech. Back to what you hoodlums came here for.
One time, in band camp, I met that hot monkey chick from Planet of the Apes. (You know, the one that Charlton Heston wanted to bang). Well, we knocked back a few banana daiquiris after practice one day and can I just tell you she rocked my world! Monkey chicks can do the most amazing things! And her tail? Oh my God…if only all women had a tail. What a wonderful world it would be. I don’t know where you are monkey woman, but I still fling my poopy around every once in a while just like we did in the old days. I miss you…
(That damned Heston! Always trying to get busy with my monkey girlfriend).