Clay Aiken To Judge “America’s Next Top Model”

There are few things in life that I care less about than Clay Aiken and the TV show “America’s Next Top Model”. However, when you add the two together, I just feel compelled to say something.

Let’s start with ANTM. Is there a more useless show on television these days? My biggest problem with this show is that it is littered with unattractive anorexic lesbians. (Ok, I just threw in the lesbian bit). Still, shouldn’t the next “Top Model” actually be pretty? Wouldn’t that at least a bit of a prerequisite?

And why in the world would any person in their right mind listen to the blathering of Tyra Banks for an hour every week? Without her boobs, she would be just another pretty woman. But when she opens her mouth, even her boobs can’t save her. It might explain why no man will have one of the most beautiful women in the world (allegedly).

And what about Clay? First of all, are we talking about the Clay Aiken I am familiar with? You want this guy to give advice on fashion? Really?

clay-aiken

Umm…ok. Clearly, my sources that told me that Clay had had the gay prayed out of him were lying. He couldn’t be more flaming if you poured a gallon of gas over his head and lit it. Don’t get me wrong, I am cool with my gay minions. It’s just that I thought that Clay had found Jesus and was on the “right” side of God. I guess not.

So, for those of you who love this show, I suspect you will love it just a little more. After all, you can never have enough judges screaming, “Oh my God! She looks fab-u-lous!!!” I guess pretty much anything passes for entertainment these days.

For my spiritual friends out there, please join me in this prayer for Clay:

“Dear Jesus, We need your help again. It seems that Clay has gone back to “smoking sausage” in spite of our best efforts to pray the gay out of him. Lord, we need you to be a little more persistent in getting Clay back on track. Father, we pray that you show Clay the value of big boobs and the mighty power of a good hoo-hoo. We think that if you could hook him up with Angelina Jolie (or a Spanish woman) just one time, he will stop coloring his hair bizarre colors and wearing fruity clothes. We pray in your name, amen”.

I don’t know if that will work but God has been known to knock out a miracle every now and then. Keep your fingers crossed!

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9 Responses to Clay Aiken To Judge “America’s Next Top Model”

  1. sandysays1 says:

    I agree with just about everything you’ve said, but I have one question. Why even watch? Who gives a s__t? There’s not a single poodle, pit bull, or, of course, golden retriever featured on the show. It’s plain discriminatory. Visit me at http://www.SandySays1.wordpress.com read some of my blog posts, and enjoy a few laughs.

    • tannerleah says:

      You are right, Sandy. I felt dirty even writing about it. Still, that little Clay just pi**es me off sometimes.

      I encourage visitors to check out Sandy’s site. That poor dog sure does have to put up with a lot.

  2. Davis says:

    Very funny post! Thanks for the laugh at Clay’s expense. He deserves it.

  3. squirrel says:

    Are you going to write a negative blog about every show mom and I watch? I feel like this is just another reason for me to continue making my fat jokes :]

  4. womaninblack says:

    I think Clay looks just dandy. This is how we all dress in the UK. And he’s called ‘Clay’, therefore it would be a crime for him NOT to be gay. Limericks abound.

  5. elizabeth3hersh says:

    For WIB:

    There was a singer named Clay,
    who flinched when others called him gay.
    His clothes were garish,
    some say nightmarish,
    but to the feygelahs, he was a good lay!

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